Miley Stewart quotes from Hannah Montana

You see? You were loved long before you were Hannah Montana, and you'll be loved long after Hannah's on one of those "Where Are They Now?" shows.

Miley

I think you're confusing me with Dad.

Doesn't that make you feel better? It doesn't, does it. I'll stop talking now.

Miley

[squeaking] Ya think?

Jackson

Besides, what do you think's gonna happen? Just as the surgery's about to start, a meteor hits a bus. The bus drives into a hot dog stand, a giant neon wiener flies into the power lines, the lights go off in the operating room, and the next thing you know, you're spending the rest of your life singing like Aunt Pearl after she swallowed that kazoo! Remember? [Starts making kazoo noises.]

Miley

Oh no. I'm never gonna be Hannah Montana again, all because of a giant wiener! [Runs upstairs.]

Robby

Let me tell you a bit about my days in the band.

Jackson

You had a backup singer named celiene dianawiz ...you told her to shorten her last name...

Miley

...and the rest...

Jackson

...is history.

Robby

That is a true story. But are we talking about that right now? NO! We're talking about the fact that you two can't learn to get along!

Jackson

She spit on my neck!!

Miley

I almost wiped my face with his underwear! (crying voice) Daddy I'm gonna live with that for the rest of my life!!

Jackson

Hi! I'm Miley, now I'm Hannah, now I'm Miley. I'm a real girl, I'm a pop star! Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days, except for me because I'm PERFECT! [to Miley] your turn

Miley

My pleasure: Girls, cars, nose hair [makes armpit farting noises] Good day, I said good day, Daddy! Whoo. Now I don't know about you, but I feel much much better.

Miley

This is a big moment for Lilly. And if you had a romantic bone in your body you'd be able to see that!

Oliver

Hey, I have eyes. Okay, look.

Oliver

He just said something funny, she laughed. Big whoop!

Miley

She's not laughing cause he's funny. She's laughing cause he's cute! [to herself] Boy brains, you might as well scoop em out and store nuts up there.

You are so cute.

Lilly

You’re cuter!

No, you’re cuter.

Lilly

No, you’re cuter.

Miley

Yeah. You’re both adorable. Can you pass the salt?

I made you a mixed CD. To celebrate the 9 days we’ve spent together.

Miley

It’s right there, next to the pepper!

Lilly

The soundtrack of our love…

Miley

Help me out here, people! I’m chewing on cardboard here!

You make me so happy Lily Pad!

Lilly

Not as happy as you make me, Lukey-Wukey

Miley

Oh my God, I think I’m gonna pukey-wukey.

Robby

So how was your date?

Miley

[referring to Roxy] Mine...or hers? Daddy, please fire Roxy right NOW!!!!! I do NOT need her anymore!!!!

Miley

[referring to Roxy] She put a bell around his arm so every time he tried to make a move it went dingdingdingdingding!

Robby

Exactly how many times did this boy "Ding?"

Miley

It doesn't matter. Every time he went "ding," she went, "Don't," and I went "Dang!"

Jake

Except for this wig. It's worse than the one I wore in Teen BigFoot. "The only thing bigger than his feet-"

[in unison] Was his-

Oliver

[suddenly waking up] WAS HIS HEART!

Miley

What kind of relationship will it be if I have to lie to him about half of my life?

Robby

Well, you could always tell him the truth.

Miley

What?!

Robby

Or not. Honey, I know it's a tough decision, but I'm sure you'll make the right one.

Miley

No I won't! I'm 14! I'm almost guaranteed to mess this up. You're the adult. You're supposed to tell me what to do!

Robby

Now what kind of a father would I be if I just ordered you around all the time?

Miley

A normal one? I swear, you are no help at all. [leaves]

Robby

Huh. Boy, even when I don't say something, I say something wrong!

Miley

Learn to love his flaws?

Oliver

Yeah, like the adorable way he steals water from little girls!

Miley

Thanks for letting me cut in line, sweetie. My boyfriend had his tonsils out, he can barely talk.

Jake

Honey, what's taking so long?

Miley

(nervously) Did I say tonsils? I meant kidneys!

(angrily) My mom has a taser. ZZZTTT!

Miley

RUN!

Lilly

Why?

Miley

Soccer Mom with a taser!

Miley

Lilly why do you read that tabloid trash, it's nothing but lies...

Lilly

[reading tabloid] Hannah Montana looks fabulous...

Miley

...with the occasional glimmer of truth.

Lilly

You didn't let me finish. [reading tabloid] ...too bad she's really a guy!

Miley

You have got to be kidding me!

Lilly

I can't believe you didn't tell me! [gasps] You slept over my house! [gasps] You borrowed my bras!

Miley

Hey I look good in a mustache. Oh yeah, I would totally date me.

Lilly

Me too.

[in unison] Awkward!

Lilly

Oh oh.

Miley

Let me guess, it's another article about Jake Ryan isn't it.

Lilly

It says his movie is done and he's back in town for the premiere.

Miley

Big whack, I don't need some guy who kisses me knowing that he's about to leave for 6 months and do some stupid movie.

Miley

Jake could fall out of the sky wearing a tuxedo and I wouldn't care.

Lilly

Um, Miley?

Miley

I'm serious. He could come down, giving me a dozen roses and it would make no difference. Zero! Zilch! El zippo!

Lilly

What if he got on his knees and begged you to take him back?

Miley

Like that's ever gonna happen.

Jake

Sorry it's only one rose, but I did bring chocolates.

Lilly

Not just chocolates. chocolates from the sky!

Miley

Jake, I don't know what to say, so I guess I'll just show you how I feel! (Pours her smoothie on him)

Lilly

(Grabs the chocolates and walks away) Thank you!