Wendy Corduroy quotes from Gravity Falls

Wendy

Oh, man. Was this place built in the past or the future?

Soos

Yeah, this room is way creepy.

Mabel

Not as creepy as Dipper's internet history.

Wendy

Listen Dipper, I'm like super flattered, but... I'm too old for you. I mean you know that, right?

Dipper

Mabel said confessing would make me feel better.

Wendy

Well how do you feel?

Dipper

Anxious. Scared. Kinda itchy.

Wendy

Dude, don't be itchy man. Let me tell you something. This summer was super boring until you showed up. I have more fun with you than like practically anybody else. And if you ever stopped being my friend... I would like throw myself into the Bottomless Pit!

Stan

You don't understand, Wendy. This animatronic badger sings, it dances—it's the perfect money-taking attraction. But he won't sell it to me.

Wendy

This is literally too dumb for me to care about.

Yo, C-beth, are you seriously pulling this "pure of heart" scam again?

That is messed up, man.

Mabel

Wait, "scam"?

Kid, unicorns can't see into your heart. All our dumb horns can do is glow, point towards the nearest rainbow and play rave music! [horn lights up and plays music]

Yeah, the whole "pure of heart" racket is just a line we use to get humans to leave us alone.

[awkwardly] Guys, shut up...

Mabel

[enraged] All this time... all this time, I thought I was a bad person, but you're even worse than I am!

Okay, fine! So you learned our secret. We're jerks, okay? We have more hair than we know what to do with, and we keep it to ourselves just to tick humans off. What are you gonna do about it? Huh, huh? What are you gonna do?!

Wendy

Woo! Go, Mabel!

Join the dark side!

Wendy

My dawgs! What up?

Mabel

Wendy, what are you doing here?

Wendy

Ugh, high school registration.

Mabel

Ooh! You know, I'm only a year away from high school myself. Would you say your experience is more "rom-com", or "wacky romp"?

Wendy

More like "teen horror movie". High school is the worst. Classes get super-hard, your body just flat out turns against you, and worst of all, everybody hates you!

Can't do it! CAN'T DO ANOTHER YEAR!

Robbie

My hormones are like a SWEATY CAGE!

Mabel

Why aren't they singing about following their dreams? TV taught me that high school was like some sort of musical.

Wendy

TV lied, man! If you can avoid growing up, do it! I'd give anything to be twelve again.