I came in first place.
You were eight months old.
I was very musically verbal.
S1 E19Dream On
We'll probably cut the glee club.
What? But you were in the glee club. Show choir was your life!
It was, Will. And after I graduated, I hit the big time. I was a featured soloist at King's Island in the Dooble-Dee-Doo Musical Revue; we were a smash. Then, for three years, I did the cruise ship circuit. When that dried up, I realized I had been sold a bill of goods. Nine years later, I woke up on a urine-stained mattress in the West Lima crack district. Then, something amazing happened: I was introduced to Jesus; he was my Honduran social worker. I straightened up, put down the pipe, met the love of my life, Wilma, and now I run a successful used Hummer dealership. Don't make that face – global warming's a theory.
BBrenda
Years ago, when I auditioned to play Miss Adelaide in "Guys and Dolls," I was asked to take my top off. Evidently, that is not customary, and that's when I started huffing glue.
Do you want a pretzel?
Hell, yes, woman.
Can't feed a child sheet music, Will. I mean, I suppose you could for a while, but they'd be dead in a month.
I sound like someone put tap shoes on a horse and then shot it.
[On her mother] What if she's singing on the tape? What if she's terrible? Or worse – what if she's better than me?
[watching Rachel] Hi.
[stops dancing after seeing Jesse] Hi. How was your spring break?
Good. It's good to be back. What were you just rehearsing?
A guy came to glee club to talk to us about dreams. Luckily, I've known mine since I was four. I'm gonna play three parts in Broadway: Evita, 'Funny Girl' and Laurey in 'Oklahoma!'. I was just practicing her dream ballet with Curly. It's what I do when I'm feeling a little stressed.
That's not a dream. A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true all the hurt would go away. You singing 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' in front of a sold-out crowd is not a fantasy. It's an inevitability.
[hugging Jesse] I thought you'd never come back.
And miss all your drama? Never.
[About Will] Uh, I don't know this man. His caretaker just stepped away; I overheard him mention he's a sex offender.
RRussell
Uh, my name is Russell, and I'm a glee club survivor. Whenever anything bad would happen, I would just say, "Let's put on a show!" Well, guess what? Puttin' on a show about your father's prostate cancer will actually just make him more depressed about the situation.
Is it a tad over-the-top to bill the district for skydiving lessons to have the Cheerios parachuted onto the football field? Perhaps.
I've grown weary of your insults, Will. They're terrible, and they make me want to punch you in the face.
Sue, you're an impressive woman. I can't tell you how much you turn me on right now. You ever heard of the term, "anger sex"?
It's the only kind I know, Bryan.
I should tell you I'm married.
Not a problem for me.
And I'm still cutting half your budget.
Eh, you win some, you lose some.
Should I lock the door?
No. Got a secret room upstairs – like Letterman.
S1 E20Theatricality
PPuck
You're wrong. It's a really good name. It's a rockstar name.
You wanna name our daughter Jack Daniels? She's a girl.
PPuck
Okay, fine – whatever. Jackie Danielle.
Yeah, you don't want to be late for your appointment at Supercuts!
Watch your mouth, homo!
DKDave Karofsky
And you know what, fancy? You don't need an appointment at Supercuts; they love walk-ins!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.