Shinpachi quotes from Gin Tama

Gintoki

Oh crap! Today is Jump release day! I forgot it comes out on Saturday this week! We have to go back!

Shinpachi

Who cares? We’ve already got everything we need for sukiyaki.

Well, this may be a good opportunity to kick the Jump habit. What am I doing, reading Jump at my age? Well, a man remains a boy until his death…

Shinpachi

Sorry, but could you keep the embarrassing proclamations to yourself?

Gintoki

D-don’t worry. A-all we have to do is find a t-t-time machine.

Shinpachi

You’re the one who has to calm down!

Gintoki

It’s okay. I went to a fortune teller earlier, and she said my luck would be good on the weekend. I’m sure she’s miraculously unhurt. H-hey…[He turns Kagura over, and a pool of blood forms on the road.] [cut to Gintoki riding with Shinpachi and Kagura on the motor scooter] Ah! We have to leave this town forever! Then again, the weather girl’s pretty cute.

Shinpachi

Who the hell are they? Pedophile yakuza?

Kagura

[misunderstanding him] file peddlers?

Kagura

But lately, my work’s been escaltatered.

Shinpachi

That’s escalated, right?

Kagura

They finally asked me to take a person’s balls.

Shinpachi

You mean soul/life, not balls, right?

There they are, over there!

Shinpachi

They found us too fast!

Kagura

Tsk. Useless four-eyes. I told you we should’ve taken a helicopter.

Shinpachi

Whaddya mean, a helicopter? You’re the one who said to take the main street because they wouldn’t expect it!

Kagura

Do you finally agree we should use a helicopter?

Shinpachi

Well, we don’t have that kind of money.

Kagura

Oh, there’s one right now. Hey! Right over here! [man in helicopter starts shooting them with a machine gun]

Shinpachi

Good grief, they’re persistent. How long will they chase us?

Kagura

How do you expect to help me? You can’t even get us a helicopter.

Shinpachi

That’s impossible. I couldn’t even get a remote control helicopter.

Kagura

That’s no excuse. You should’ve called us a helicopter, you useless lump.

Kagura

In the end, the idiots are just used. But I like those idiots better. I hate you though.

Shinpachi

Hey, did you just insult me without an accent?

Kagura

I don’t like men with glasses.

Shinpachi

What the hell? Your character is changing!

Gintoki

Well, I didn’t really come to save you. I was looking for Jump and just happened to come to the station.

Shinpachi

So our lives aren’t worth 230 yen?

Otose

What’s with this girl? She’s already eaten five bowls!

Shinpachi

Five, eh? She’s still got a long way to go.

Gintoki

We’ve got nothing left at home but salt and sugar.

Gintoki

Listen up! My huge stash of chocolate that I’ve been hoarding has recently disappeared. Whoever ate it, raise your hand. If you fess up now, I’ll only ¾ of the way kill you.

Shinpachi

3 quarters is almost fully dead. And you should really stop this, or you’re going to get diabetes.

Kagura

Another embassy recently attacked.(Nose bleeds) Oh this place sure is scary Popi, Momi.

Gintoki

You’re the scary one, bleeding from the nose with such a contented look. Was my chocolate tasty?

Kagura

You don’t get a nosebleed from eating chocolate.

Gintoki

Don’t dodge the question! I can smell it in your blood!

Kagura

Don’t be ridiculous. I just picked a little too hard.

Gintoki

And why would a girl your age pick hard enough to get a nosebleed?! Are you a retired cop or something?!

Shinpachi

I don’t get your reasoning! Hey, calm down! (scooter crashes into Otose's shop.)

Shinpachi

Kagura-chan, call for an ambulance.

Kagura

Ambulance! Ambulance!

Gintoki

He didn’t mean it literally.

What the hell are you doing here? You wanna get your asses kicked, woof?

Shinpachi

No, we were just asked to deliver something.

Gintoki

Hey Kagura, we’d better give…

Kagura

[crouching down] Come here, doggy, I’ll give you a treat!

Gintoki

What the hell are you doing?!

Gintoki

[being held by the arm] What the hell are you doing, Shinpachi?! Let go!

Shinpachi

[being held by the arm by the amanto] No way, I’m not going to be taken in by myself!

Gintoki

Aren’t you supposed to say something like, ‘Don’t worry about me, just go’?!

Kagura

[being held by the arm by Gintoki] Don’t worry about me, just go to hell!

Gintoki

I’m taking you with me!

Katsura

I’ve never understood what goes on in your head.

Gintoki

I love the thrill of a real fight. That’s why I hate this trickery you’re pulling. Our fight is over. And yet you come, time and time again, pestering me about it. What are you, my mother-in-law?

Katsura

Are you some kind of idiot? Mothers always pester their sons. You just don’t have anyone that does it with you on a daily basis.

Gintoki

Hey you, if I didn’t have naturally wavy hair like this, I’d kick your ass.

Katsura

You’re always blaming your hair for your cowardice. How pitiful.

Gintoki

You’re the pitiful one. You try to trick a guy into fighting with you.

Shinpachi

What the hell are you talking about?!