Gintoki quotes from Gin Tama

Class 3-Z, Ginpachi-sensei!

Gintoki

Stand. Bow. Take your seats. Well then, open your Gintama volume 1 books. Today, I’d like to address the meaning of Gintama. Anyone know what Gintama means?

Kagura

[wearing glasses] Me! But Katsura’s hair is in the way, and I can’t see the blackboard.

Gintoki

Zura, I told you to cut your hair. Rip it out.

Katsura

Sensei, I won’t.

Gintoki

Then I’ll just cut if off.

Katsura

I’ll sue your pants off.

Gintoki

All right then, let’s continue.

Okita

Sensei? Kagura, the A student, is eating her lunch early and holding up her wiener like a trophy.

Kagura

I’m not eating early. In my country, we always ate hot dogs during class.

Gintoki

Then go home. All right then, back to work.

Hijikata

Sensei? I don’t think you’re supposed to smoke in class.

Gintoki

This isn’t a cigarette. It’s just a lollipop.

Hijikata

Lollipops don’t make any smoke.

Gintoki

No, that’s just cuz it’s so lollied. [takes out the lollipop] All right, we’ll continue tomorrow. I hope you took notes. That’s all.

Shinpachi

I’m getting out of here.

Did you think you’d get off if you just kept denying it? There’s no way.

Shinpachi

Shut up, you useless piece of crap! We explained it all to you idiot, so just shut the hell up and let us outta here! We’ve gotta go somewhere!!

Kagura

Violent four-eyes.

Gintoki

Come on, quit acting like that.

Shinpachi

[outside the police office] I got us off.

Gintoki

Or rather, you threatened them until they let us go.

Kagura

Well, it’s not that unusual for someone who’s normally timid to go crazy under pressure.

Gintoki

Well whatever. I’m going to take a piss over here.

Kagura

And I’m gonna take a puke.

Shinpachi

Hey, we’re on TV here! Stop it! Come on, they’ll never leave us alone if we deface their station. I’m going home. Come right back, you stupid idiots!

Gintoki

Oh come on. We can’t have a comedic anime without the straight man. All right then, I’ll have to fill in for him…hey, are you really puking?!

Gintoki

Well, that went nicely. But do you really think you can get away with this though?

Just turn here.

Gintoki

Come on, it’s more likely that you’d win the lottery than get out of this country.

Gintoki

Outta the way! Outta the way!

Stop dumbass! Do you really think you can get away?!

Gintoki

Are you saying that I can’t get away? That just makes me want to get away even more!

The suspect is headed towards the terminal. They’ve just passed the moe-moe intersection.

We made it!

Gintoki

Oh shit!

A stroller!

Dad!

[pushing the stroller] We wander the depths of hell, as father and son. We’re in a hurry, so we’ll take our leave.

Gintoki

That stupid wolf. Doesn’t he know cars can’t stop right away?

Gintoki

Want some gum?

Who’d eat that kid’s stuff?

Gintoki

The best way to live life a full life is to be a child, no matter what your age.

Kagura

And so, I’ve come to report to you.

Gintoki

Hey, what happened to your accent?

Amanto

What are you doing?

Gintoki

[imitating Otsuu’s end of sentences] That’s my line..backer!

Shinpachi

Gin-san!

Amanto

[imitating Gintoki] Get out of my way..ward soul!

Gintoki

I’m gonna have to cut you to shred..ded beef buffet!

Gintoki

[voiceover] In the age of the kabuki show, the good looking man treads a fine legal line. But there are two men who still possess the fantastic hair and tight buttocks that ladies love: the mysterious beggar, Sakata Kintoki, and the number one variety show host, Ketsuago Shinpachi. Now, with a female, Chinese mafia don as their goal, they transverse the dark, stained city. The new show, Kintama, starts next week!

Shinpachi

Hey, I’m not gonna do that kind of show!

Shinpachi

[voiceover] The Land of the Samurai. It’s been a quite a while since our country has been called that. Twenty years ago, a race called the amantos…

Gintoki

[voiceover] Gosh, enough with that stupid introduction.

Kagura

[voiceover] Just stop it.

Shinpachi

But there might be people who are just coming in…

Gintoki

It’s ok. They wouldn’t get it, even with your explanation. Just let them pick it up as they go along.

Kagura

Yeah, if they want to learn it, they’ll lick it up.

Shinpachi

Why the hell would they lick it?

Otose

Hey, you brainless perm-boy, get out here and pay the goddamn rent!

Gintoki

Oh all right, I guess there’s nothing for it. Here ya go. Adios.

Otose

Hey you! What the hell? 230 yen? Aren’t you mistaking your rent for your milk money, you idiot?!

Gintoki

No! I don’t have shit for cash! You know that, you thick headed ho!

Otose

If you don’t have any money, then go scam a couple of rich old ladies, you naturally-permed swindler!

Gintoki

It’s always money, money, money, money with you! Why don’t you go swindle someone, you harlot hag?

Otose

If you wanna get your ass kicked, then just say so!

Gintoki

If you want a piece of me, I’ll take you on!

Otose

I’m serious, if you don’t pay up, I’m gonna throw your worthless ass out!