I put my soul into this place. My heart. My liver. A couple kidneys
S5To Live and Let Diorama
You know Superman's fortress of solitude? A jamacian beach compared to my mother's house.
Why are you covering your eyes, Kirk?
In case you're naked.
You thought I'd walk into my daughter's room and get naked?
I don't know your domestic routine.
Let her get all Condoleezza Rice to my Barbara Boxer if she likes.
S5But I'm a Gilmore
[Lorelai walks into the house and hears a noise in the kitchen. She grabs a cushion from the couch.]
Hello, is somebody there?
[walking from her room into the kitchen] Hey, Mom!
[sighs] Hey, Mom? That's it? You just gave me a heart attack and all you have to say is 'hey, Mom'? I thought you were a vicious serial killer.
[getting a soda from the fridge] Who you were going to challenge to a pillow fight?
[Lorelai walks in the Dragonfly's kitchen with Michel]
Okay, now tell me who does what and what we need to keep things running.
Well, we need Sookie here.
Well, she's not going to be here, so let's go to Plan B.
Okay, Plan B. That involves Sookie's clone, also named Sookie.
Well, umm, who here makes the sauces?
Sookie.
Who here, Michel?
Sookie trusts no one else with the sauces. She makes the sauces.
Well, what does Mark make?
Salads.
Okay, and Donny does desserts. What do our other guys do?
Well, that man over there does the cleaning. That man over there dresses the plates. That man uses tongs, and I have no idea what that man in the corner does, but I would check his trunk before he leaves.
Without Sookie here, we have salads and desserts?
Pretty much.
We can't run a restaurant serving salads and desserts.
I would not go to eat, no.
Wait, okay here we have duck. Who here does the duck?
Nobody touches the ducks.
Well, starting now, someone has to touch the duck.
I do not know what to tell you, except it will not be me.
[After learning the kitchen cannot run without Sookie]
This is bad, Michel.
I'm getting that, yes.
Well, we'll just figure something out, right?
Absolutely. Ain't no mountain high enough.
We'll just formulate a plan, nail down a strategy. You have any ideas?
We could order some pizza, or Chinese food, or perhaps one of those hoagies that you cut into a million pieces-
No more suggestions necessary, Michel!
Well, I'm here if you need me.
You know, I love watching you cook. It's hot.
That's cause you're standing next to the boiler.
Oh, is that what we're calling it now?
[Luke answers the phone.]
Kitchen.
Do you put walnuts in your béchamel?
Sookie?
Do you put walnuts in your béchamel?
No.
You don't put walnuts in your béchamel.
Sookie, I have things burning, so I-
I thought I tasted walnuts. What things are you burning?
What do you mean you tasted walnuts?
You want to get fancy, you can do that at your own diner. My béchamel sauce is classic.
How are you tasting the béchamel?
And, I don't remember including goat cheese in the fennel salad.
How do you know what's in the fennel salad?
So you admit it. You put goat cheese in the fennel salad.
Yeah, I put goat cheese in the fennel salad. It goes good in the fennel salad, and you had it sitting there.
And I also have some Brillo pads sitting there. You want to toss a couple of those into the fennel salad, as well? Hmmm?
How do you know all this?
I just assumed.
You just assumed that I put goat cheese in the fennel salad?
And walnuts in the béchamel.
I did not put walnuts in- Sookie, are you having people bring you my food?
S5How Many Kropogs to Cape Cod?
Look at us! We're happy. We have boyfriends. This is infinitely better than any mood-stablizer I've ever been on.
Oh shoot what time is it?
It's hammer-time.
Last night I couldn't sleep so I google-d your father.
Excuse me?
12,053 items came up. I could only pull up a couple thousand but it really helped. He was born in 1953. Episcopalian. Second of four children. Oldest boy. Yale undergrad. Star of the track team. No grad school. Interesting. Then he had a couple of lost years. A kind of blank period. A little Jesus thing going on there.
It's like 90 kropogs or so.
Kropogs? Did someone say kropogs?
I will give it a 9.
9+
What will make it a 10?
Another half point.
Beatrice?
BBeatrice (the maid)
Yes ma'am.
Do you know what these are?
BBeatrice
Lilies.
Fragrant lilies. Would you like to eat dinner with fragrant lilies in the room?
BBeatrice
Yes.
WELL THEN YOU'RE INSANE!
S5Blame Booze and Melville
We're fondue purists, Grandma.
Yea we dip old school.
The government says you should have nine servings of fruits and vegetables per day.
Imperialist propaganda.
Noam Chomsky would agree.
I bet Noam doesn't dip fruit.
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