Who wants cheese?
Are there crackers?
Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes, there are crackers.
And in the Gilmore house?
Who wants cheese?
S1 E13Concert Interruptus
Did you find our house okay?
Your street has no sign on it.
I told you to turn left at the giant rooster statue.
I thought you were kidding.
No one kids about Monty!
[about donating clothes] There’s nothing to give up.
The red and black halter top?
Oh, no.
Why?
Uh, it’s a classic.
It’s got rhinestones and zebra stripes on it.
So?
Tassels.
Yes.
It has tassels, mom.
Okay, I’ve had this since I was 17.
Okay, I’m sorry, did I mention the tassels?
S1 E14That Damn Donna Reed
Can brains hurt?
Yes, it's hypochondria hour.
No, I'm serious. Last night when I was reading my biology chapters I distinctly heard a ping in the vicinity of my brain.
Your brain pinged?
Yeah. It just went like 'dink'.
Well then, honey, your brain dinked. It didn't ping.
Well I hardly think a dinking brain is better than a pinging brain.
Ok, how about this? I'll help you. I love to paint.
You do?
Yes, I do.
You love it?
I want to marry it.
You have strange passions.
She likes washing dishes too. She's multi-faceted abnormal.
When standards slip, families flee and in comes the seedy crowd. You got trouble, my friends.
Right here in River City!
This is not funny, Lorelai.
Mother-daughter window washing. We should try that.
Yeah, right after mother-daughter shock treatments.
[to Rory, about Luke] We're picking out paint colors tonight so it's going to be hours of "yes," "no," "yes," "no," "yes," "no," until my world-famous perseverence wears him down and he winds up in a ball on the floor crying like a girl. Wanna come watch?
S1 E15Christopher Returns
Ok look. I’ve been making some changes, especially my career and I think I finally have all my ducks lined up in a row.
You’re opening a shooting gallery.
I’ve been tying up loose ends in my life.
Do they make that much string?
That was....that was a memorable evening.
Oh yes, it was beautiful in there. We should commemorate it with an oil painting or a severed head or something.
Uh, Diane is ancient history.
When I met her at Easter you said she could be the one.
The one to be gone by Memorial Day.
[Christopher making coffee as Lorelai comes in.]
Where were you?
Fruitlessly trying to rectify a ratty transgression.
Oh. You want some coffee?
No.
What?
What?
Well I know you well enough to know that when you say no to coffee, especially in the morning, all is not right in Whoville.
Very astute.
So... last night.
Ah, last night was Chernobyl and the Hindenburg combined.
Right, just checking.
My father almost hit someone. My father has probably only hit another man in college wearing boxing gloves and one of those Fred Mertz Golden Gloves pullover sweaters.
Fred Mertz?
"I Love Lucy" - Fred Mertz.
Landlord to Ricki, husband to Ethel, I know. It’s just a weird reference.
Hello, pajamas.
Right. Continue.
And what are you doing telling my daughter to lie to me anyway?
She’s my daughter too.
More like your playmate.
You know I don’t deserve that, I’m as mature as you.
What? The Offspring is your favorite band!
So? You’re into Metallica!
Well, Metallica is way more substantial than The Offspring!
Here we go, it’s the same Black Sabbath riff all over again!
Oh! The Offspring have like one chord progression. They use it over and over. They just popped on new words and called it a single and I don’t want to talk about this anymore!
S1 E16Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers
Hey — tomorrow, if you have time, I'm planning on despising everyone who says, "Hey, how's it going?".
You're on.
[A woman enters Luke's restaurant.]
WWoman
Hey, how's it going?
[to herself] Oh, now that's just too easy.
No, I believe you. If you say there's no reason for the mood, then there's no reason for the mood. You're simply nuts.
Or bipolar. That's very big nowadays.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.