Futurama · Season 1
You all go without me! I'm gonna take one last look around, you know, for, uh, stuff to steal!
You're going back for the Countess, aren't you?
All right, I am. But I don't want the others to know. If I don't come back, just say I died robbing some old man.
I'll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger.
[hugging Fry] I love you, buddy!
Bender, you risked your life to save me!
And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.
Sir, remember your course correction?
No.
Well, it's proving somewhat more suicidal than we had initially hoped.
Wait, my cheating unit malfunctioned. You gotta' give me a do-over.
Sorry, the house limit is three do-overs.
But as a gentleman, I must warn you, if you so much as glance at another woman, I'll be on Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manure.
Thank God there's plenty of escape pods. We won't have to dress up like women and children.
[The camera pulls back to reveal Farnsworth dressed in a kid's sailor outfit and holding a lollipop]
Oh, God, not Zapp Brannigan.
You know Zapp Brannigan?
Let's just say we've crossed paths.
Was that before or after you slept with him?
Don't blame yourself, Kif. We were doomed from the start. I guess all that remains now is for the captain to go down with the ship.
That's surprisingly noble of you, sir.
No, it's noble of you, Kif. As of now, you're in command. Congratulations, Captain.
You're not jealous, are you?
No!
Good, 'cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.
Oh. Look, I'm not actually interested in her, if that's what's bothering you.
Oh, are you sure? I mean, she has two eyes, you have two eyes...?
I know. We seem like a perfect match. But, I just don't feel that way about her.
Well, accommodations aren't great, but it sure is beautiful out here
Yeah, it's pretty romantic- I mean, platonic, that sure is one platonic view.
Fry, just be quiet, I'm starting to think this whole fake fiance thing was a terrible, terrible [gasps]
[Leela surprises Fry with a big kiss in front of Zapp. After Zapp leaves, Leela breaks the kiss]
Uh, look... Before you get any crazy ideas, that was for Zapp.
Well, you got anything else for him?
This is a pleasure cruise. Our path is decided by the travel agency.
That's for schoolgirls. Now here's a course with some chest hair. [Draws a meandering line on the chart]
But that leads us straight through a swarm of comets.
Ah, yes. Comets, the icebergs of the sky.
Good news, everyone! We've got a very special delivery today.
Who's it going to?
[dusting off hands] Another job well done!
Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?
What you did to Guenter was cruel. At the risk of sounding like an after-school special, I think we learned who the real animal was today.
You mean peer pressure?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
