I finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends, it's things.
I'm a thing...
S1A Fishful of Dollars
Since when do you care about us?
We thought you only cared about cans of anchovies and stuffy songs about the buttocks!
No, that's true!
Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts.
Toodle-oo! [Under her breath.] Dumbass...
What a nice lady.
I'm sorry, Fry, but anchovies went extinct in the 2200s.
Wha?
Oh, my, yes. Fished out of existence... just about the time your people arrived on Earth, Dr. Zoidberg.
I'm not on trial here.
So, none of you have ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were salty and oily and melted in your mouth...
Okay, okay! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying one more couldn't hurt, and then they were gone! We're sorry!
You're Fry's relative. Do you have any idea how he got so crazy?
Uh, what? Oh, yeah, they say madness runs in our family. Some even call me mad. And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters, atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood...
[Fry is serving pizza with anchovies]
Okay, my friends, get ready for the most delicious extinct animal you've ever tasted.
I don't know, I've had cow.
I don't get it, Fry. Who was Ted Danson, and why did you bid $10, 000 for his skeleton?
I have an idea for a sitcom.
[last lines]
That stench. That heavenly stench! [Eats all the anchovies] More...
There aren't any more, and there never will be.
[advances menacingly] More...More! More! MORE!!! [camera zooms into Zoidberg's pupil, revealing the end credits]
S1My Three Suns
[Bender is watching a cooking show called Essence of Elzar]
Hey, whatcha watching?
Is that a cooking show?
[turns off the TV] No, of course not. It was... uh... porno. Yeah, that's it.
[turns the TV back on] Bender, I didn't know you liked cooking. That's so cute.
Aww, it's true. I've been hiding it for so long.
It's okay, Bender. I like cooking too.
[sotto voce] Pansy.
MMurg
The Emperor Bont! He's still alive.
BBont
[from inside of Fry's stomach] Of course I'm alive. Now cut this creep open and drain me out!
Look at all these guys. Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was?
Uhh...... 80,000 years?
No, one week!
Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked unless it was really high or really low.
It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?
That was the saltiest thing I ever tasted! And I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt!
There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose.
Uh-oh! I shouldn't have had seconds.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.