Well, settle in. Without a microwave, we're stuck in this time period.
Oh, Lord! We'll have to endure the horrible music of the Big Bopper, and then the terrible tragedy of his death.
S3Roswell That Ends Well
Fry, stop interfering with history! I don't wanna have to memorize a lot of new kings when I get back.
I had no choice. I was about to not exist. I could feel myself fading away, like Greg Kinnear.
She sure is pretty. You ought to marry her and father some children right away.
EEnos
Yeah, folks say that. But did you ever get the feeling you're only going with girls 'cause you're supposed to?
What?! Don't ever, ever say or think that again!
[after Fry accidentally kills his grandfather] And you...are...outta here!
What the hell have you done, Fry?
Relax! She can't be my grandmother. I figured it all out.
Of course she's your grandmother, you perverted dope! Look!
MMildred
[wearing glasses and knitting] Come back to bed, deary.
[screams] It's impossible! I mean, if she's my grandmother, who's my grandfather?
Isn't it obvious?
[Fry shakes his head.]
You are!
S3Godfellas
Make Bender take a nap in a tube! [removes the torpedo] Come back when I had some sleep, baby.
[noticing she mistook Bender for an actual torpedo] That's not Torpedo #3! That's not Torpedo #3 at all!
You know, I was God once.
Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.
Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket.
Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!
Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
Look, I miss Bender almost half as much as you do, but you can't bring him back this way! It's hopeless!
You can't give up hope just because it is hopeless! You gotta hope even more, and cover your ears, and go: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!"
Well, you obviously won't listen to reason... So I guess I'll listen to idioticness and come with you.
O' cruel fate, to be thusly boned! Ask not for whom the bone bones - it bones for thee.
That galaxy is signaling in binary. I should signal back, but I only know enough binary to ask where the bathroom is. You speak English?
I do now.
[Prof. Farnsworth is searching for Bender with his Smelloscope]
Anything yet, professor?
I'm afraid the Smelloscope can't locate Bender. His fragrance is too mild. It's being overwhelmed by local sources.
[Everyone looks at Zoidberg]
Hooray! People are paying attention to me.
So do you know I'm going to do something before I do it?
Yes.
What if I do something else?
Then I don't know that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.