At this rate, by Tuesday it will be Thursday, by Wednesday it will be August, and by Thursday it will be the end of existence as we know it!
S3Time Keeps on Slippin
Fry, please try to understand: you're a man, I'm a woman. We're just too different.
All right, cool your jets, hot shot.
Come on, Leela. Why won't you go out with me? We both know there's something there.
No, I mean cool your jets. You're melting Bender's face.
Time continues to skip forward randomly. Details at elev...
[time skips]
This is the News at Eleven. The mysterious and unexplained...
[time skips]
Turning to entertainment news, teen singer Wendy might just be the latest...
[time skips]
...won three Grammys last night...
[time skips]
...found dead in her bathtub.
The time skips are worse than ever now. Isolated spots are jumping by years at a time. Look.
BBoy
Stupid senior citizens. Why should we have to pay for their Social Security benefits?
[Time skip; the boy becomes a senior citizen]
SCSenior Citizen
I deserve free money!
[Fry walks to the window and presses his face against the glass. As the ship gets further away from the nebula Fry sees the stars around it form an "O" in a huge message that reads "I Love You, Leela".]
That's how I must have done it! I moved the stars themselves to write her a love note in the sky.
[on intercom] Detonation in three, two, one.
No!
[The doomsday device implodes and the nebula, the stars and Fry's message disappear. Fry stares at the empty void. Enter Leela and Bender]
Did you see it? Did you see it?
The explosion?
No, not the explosion!
Then what?
[quietly] Nothing.
S3I Dated a Robot
[In outer space]
You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.
[Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins]
CSClyde Smith
Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven! [wins again] A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in Hell!
SCSebastian Cabot
No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane! [unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]
CClyde
There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!
CCabot
Why should I believe you, you're Hitler! [pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection is indeed Hitler]
CClyde
No! [turns to a woman sitting next to him] Eva Braun! Help me!
[The woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly. Clyde screams]
Eh, saw it coming.
How can you guys be so blasé? Here we are in the year three-hundred-or-so, yet you're just sitting around like it's the boring time I came from.
Boring? Wasn't that the period when they cracked the human genome, and boy bands roamed the earth?
Hey, you know what might be a hoot?
No! Why would I know that?
Let's take the rest of the morning off and take Fry to do everything he ever wanted to do.
Everything?
Except that.
[At the edge of the universe, Fry sees alternative versions of himself and his friends on the other side, dressed as cowboys]
Far out! So there really is an infinite number of universes?
No, just the two.
RDRobot Designer
Can I interest you in Gwyneth Paltrow?
Nah, I read in Newsweek that she drinks human blood.
AAuctioneer
Are there no further bids for this exquisite galaxy? Sold! To the being of inconceivable horror!
BIBeing of Inconceivable Horror
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! [pause] Will a money order be okay?
AAuctioneer
Yes.
BIBeing of Inconceivable Horror
MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Oh, Lucy! You're just like I always thought you'd be from your movies.
LLiubot
My personality is mathematically derived from my movies, proportionally weighted by box office receipts.
Aaawww... you say the CUTEST things!
Oh dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop, and he's an idiot! Well, that's love for you.
Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
Bender, this is Fry's decision... and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.