Michelle Tanner quotes from Full House

There's a monkey at the door!

Danny

That must be my sister.

Your sister is a monkey?

Does your dad know you're here?

No. When you run away, you don't tell.

Why did you run away, sweetheart?

[referring to Jesse] To teach Uncle Tattletale a lesson!

She's really cute. Can we keep her?

I'm a fun girl!

Well, until we get this straightened out, you're welcome to stay here.

Thanks, New Dad!

Michelle, I think that's your family.

I bet they're coming to say they're sorry.

Aaron

Let's play superhero.

Teddy

I'll be Batman!

Aaron

I'll be Superman!

I'll be the Little Mermaid.

Aaron

That's not a superhero. That's a fish.

Rebecca

How about if Michelle is Wonder Woman?

Aaron

That's impossible. She doesn't have black hair.

Rebecca

What was I thinking?

Teddy

You can be Superman's mother.

What does Superman's mother do?

Teddy

She lays out Superman's pajamas.

Danny

[to Michelle] You are one terrific person. You're funny, you're sweet, you're kind...

Keep going.

Danny

I could go on for hours.

You always do!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to flight 40, we should be arriving at our destination... Auckland, New Zealand, in 14 hours.

Stephanie

Auckland, New Zealand?

14 hours?

Aaah!!

Michelle, very good printing, but is there something missing from your I's?

I save the dots for last.

I do too.

Teddy, wanna dot my I's?

Teddy

Oooh! That's my favorite thing!

Boys and girls if you thought dotting I's was fun, you're gonna love, crossing T's.

Excuse me.

Everyone, say hello to Denise.

Hello, Denise.

She's joining us from Mrs. Harris's class. (To Denise) Denise, why don't you take that empty seat there next to Michelle?

Hi, Michelle.

Hi.

Do you wanna trade lunches?

No thank you.

I've got a bologna sandwich.

I have tuna. I don't think that goes with bologna.

I've got potato chips.

What kind?

Sour cream and onion.

Really?

Sure. Why would I lie about potato chips?

Sour cream and onion is my favorite.

Me too.

The taste stays on the tongue for a really long time.

Yeah. Sometimes when my mommy kisses me, she says, "Eww! What have you been eating?!"

Shh.

Shh.

I'm making T's wanna cross mine?

Cool.

D.J.

Stephanie, your ears are infected.

Stephanie

Michelle. Ow. You promised you wouldn't tell.

I promise I wouldn't tell Dad. Does this look like Dad?

D.J.

Stephanie, did you pierce them at the mall after Dad told you no?

Stephanie

Of course not. I'm not that stupid.

She let Kimmy do it.

D.J.

What?! You let Kimmy punch a hole in your body? Why don't you just fall into a rusty nail? Stephanie, you have to tell Dad. He needs to take you to a doctor.

Stephanie

Oh no!

That's okay. If you don't yell, you get a lollipop. If you yell a lot, you get two.

Who's room is this? [mockingly] The rainbow brights'? Hmm?

Stephanie

Let's just do the assignment. [opens her binder] Okay, what did you do that was nice?

Well I, I didn't put bubble gum in anyone's chair.

Stephanie

[sarcastically] What a prince.

Oh, Stephanie.

Oh look. It's half a person.

You got a bad attitude.

Stephanie

What is it Michelle? We're studying.

You're in big trouble with Dad. Big big big big big big big big...

Stephanie

Okay! Okay, I get it. What'd I do?

You forgot to take the garbage out again.

Stephanie

Uh oh.

Dad said he'll deal with you later. Just thought you'd like to know.

Well I guess you're really in for it now, huh?

Stephanie

Yeah. That's twice this week. My dad's gonna flip out on me.

Well, you know what helps? Try thinking of a funny movie like, like Home Alone or Roger Rabbit. That's what I always do when I'm getting it.

Stephanie

Getting what?

Well, you know, when your dad's pounding you.

Stephanie

You mean hitting? [Charles nods] My dad never hits me. Does yours hit you?

No. Just, just, just forget it. Let, let's do the assignment.

Stephanie

But you said you always think of a funny movie. Do you get hit a lot?

Look, I didn't mean anything by it. Just forget it! Okay? Let's do the assignment.

Stephanie

Charles, you can trust me, I swear!

No, I don't care if you swear on your mother's life!

Stephanie

My mother is not alive.

Oh. I'm sorry. Mine's not alive either.

Stephanie

I'm sorry.

Look, the thing is, my dad does hit me sometimes. But it's my own fault for ticking him off. Boy did he really clock me last week.

Stephanie

You mean when you came to school with that black eye and you said you walked into a door?

Yeah. A door named Dad.

Stephanie

Maybe you should tell someone.

No. No! I, I can't tell anyone, and neither can you. What time is it?

Stephanie

[looks at her watch] 5:30.

I forgot to phone my dad and tell him I was gonna be late. He's gonna kill me! [packs his binder up] Gotta go, I gotta go!

Stephanie

But Charles!

Steph, you gotta swear to me. You can't tell anyone as long as you live, ever. You got it okay?

Stephanie

Okay. I swear. [Charles runs out of the room]

Danny

Michelle, you know you're not supposed to wander off by yourself.

But Daddy, I was so mad.

Danny

Now, that's no excuse. We're gonna have a long talk about this later.

But Daddy, I'm the princess, and nobody would do what I told them.

Danny

Sounds like you were trying to be the boss.

The princess is the boss.

Danny

Bruce Springsteen is the boss.

Hey, everybody. Uncle Jesse got my bike back.

Jesse

It's no big deal. All I did was outwit a 9-year-old. It's not like he was jeopardy material or anything. What the heck is that?

Danny

Michelle's bike. What the heck is that?

Joey

Hey, guys. Guess who found Michelle's... bike?

Danny

Seems to be the question of the day.

Wow, I've got three bikes!

Danny

No, honey, not all of them are yours. One of them is, but which one?

I like this one. It looks brand-new.

Danny

Sweetheart, I didn't ask which one you liked the best. I asked you which one is yours?

Let's see. Mine has a Kermit sticker on the basket.

Jesse

Well, would you settle for a Care Bear on the chainguard?

None of these bikes are mine. Mine's still stolen.

Danny

So are all these.

Joey

And we're the stealers.

You're all going to the slammer.

Daddy, if you have a stomachache, could you stay home from the slammer?

Danny

Sweetheart, we are not going to the slammer. We're just gonna return these bikes to their rightful owners.

So everybody gets their bike back except me? That's fair.

Jesse

How am I supposed to return this? I stole it off a kid named Davey. All I know about him is I should've stolen his trumpet too.

Danny

I found mine leaning against the library. This horrible thing. A little girl goes in, checks out Curious George, comes out, her bike's gone. Could turn a kid off to reading forever.

Joey

I grabbed mine off the back of a pickup. Oh, great. There's a card in it. "Happy Birthday, Lisa. Love, Mom and Dad."

Jesse

Papouli, you remember Rebecca.

Who could forget Rebecca?!

I bet you could.

Jesse

It's like a...a bad dream or something.

Rebecca

I know. [hugs Jesse] I know. [sniffles] But you know, at least Papouli died peacefully in his sleep, you know?

Danny

We know how much he meant to you, Jess. He meant a lot to us too.

D.J.

We're all gonna miss him. [Rebecca comforts D.J.]

Jesse

[sighs] It's just... [stands up] so helpless, it's like...if I could have been there, I would have done something, you know I could've helped him...I could

Rebecca

[interrupts] Jess, honey...honey, honey...[hugs Jesse] there was nothing that you could do. There was nothing any of us could do.

Jesse

[sighs] You're right. [walks back to the table] He was just such a beautiful man. Just so full of love and life. Now he's gone.

Stephanie

Uncle Jesse, you okay?

Jesse

[wipes his tears] Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. [stands up] You know, I, I don't have time for this. I got so many things to do, make the arrangements...

D.J.

Well, if you want help...

Joey

Yeah Jess, we, we can take care of all that.

Jesse

You know what, it's my responsibility. Just...I'm sorry guys, I'll...I'll...I'll take it from here. [goes upstairs]

D.J.

Why won't Uncle Jesse let us help him?

Rebecca

Aw honey, it's just his way of dealing with the pain, you know? By keeping busy. [Michelle enters the house]

Hi everybody!

Danny

Hi Michelle. [kisses Michelle]

Hi Daddy.

Danny

How was your honeybee meeting?

It was great! [shows her school project] I made this for Papouli. Where is he? [Stephanie tearfully looks at Joey, and Joey looks somber as the Tanner family must deliver Michelle the sad news]

Danny

Michelle, Papouli's not here. [Michelle looks at Joey, Stephanie, D.J. and Rebecca who are visibly emotional]

Rebecca

[comforting D.J., who is crying] It's okay.

Something's wrong. [Danny sadly nods]

Danny

Um, sweetheart, this is um, this is not easy to say to you. Um, this morning, after you went to school, we uh, went to wake up Papouli. Michelle, he died in his sleep last night.

What?

Danny

He was, he was just, he was very old, and his heart gave out.

No, he's not dead! [throws her school project to the floor and runs upstairs, visibly upset. Danny follows her as Rebecca and Joey respectively comfort D.J. and Stephanie]