Friends quotes

613 total quotes



Phoebe: Lily's dead!
Frank Sr.: She -- what?
Phoebe: She's dead.
Frank Sr.: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Well, if she isn't, cremating her was a big mistake.

Phoebe: Well, you all know that I am a pacifist, which means I am not interested in war - in any way. But when the revolution comes I will have to destroy you all; not you, Joey.

Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago. You've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.

Rachel: [talking on the phone, drunk] Hello? Vegas? Yes, we would like some more alcohol. And you know, we would like some more beers, too... hello? Oh, wait... I forgot to dial!

[There is a knock at the door.] 

Ross: That must be our alcohol and beers!

Rachel: I brought reinforcements.
Ross: You brought Joey?
Rachel: Um... no, but I brought the next best thing.
[Chandler walks in.]
Chandler: Hey.
Ross: Chandler? You brought Chandler? The next best thing would have been Monica!
Chandler: Normally I'd be offended, but she is freakishly strong.

Rachel: Monica? You're gonna be very proud of me. I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses.
Joey: Oh, my!
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Joey: Not in my head.

Rachel: No! Phoebe, just because I'm alone doesn't mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?

Rachel: No, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna be screwed up for a long time. And besides, you know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Monica: Right, you only go for them five minutes before they get married.

Rachel: No, you're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love.
Ross: Same difference.

Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
Phoebe: Oh, no. I did that for someone once. I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.
Monica: I'll do it!

Ross [seeing Chandler and Monica from across his apartment] What are you doing?! GET OFF MY SISTER!!

Ross: [after seeing Monica and Chandler through the window] CHANDLER! I SAW WHAT YOU WERE DOING THROUGH THE WINDOW! I SAW WHAT YOU WERE DOING TO MY SISTER. NOW GET OUT HERE!
Chandler: Well, we had a great run. What was it -- four, five months? That's more that most people have in a lifetime. So bye, take care, buh-bye then. [kisses Monica and gets ready to jump out the window]

Ross: [speaking through the phone to the pens Company] Yes, Hello! I have a question, uhm!... I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. [something at the phone]... A beard and a mustache. [Something at the phone again] oh! Thank you!...

Ross: I'm just going to wander around in the rain.
Rachel: Uhh... it's not raining.
Ross: I can't catch a break!

Ross: Look, I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. Okay, Rach, that's you. That's the couch.
Rachel: Whoa, what's ... what's that?
Ross: Oh, that's me.
Rachel: Wow! You certainly think a lot of yourself.
Ross: No! That's ... that's my arm.
Chandler: Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.