Ross Geller quotes from Friends

Ross

Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman.

Chandler

Oh, I will! But I will need a mirror... as he is me!

Chandler

I know. I hate being left out of things.

Ross

I know. And it's a wedding. It'll be weird if I'm not in it.

Rachel

In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it!

Ross

You're mad at me about last night? I was trying to do the right thing!

Rachel

Really? Well, if you had done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed. I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!

Ross

Well...

Rachel

Stop that!!

Ross

I can't believe this! I was being a good guy! I treated you with respect and understanding!

Rachel

[sarcastically] That's so hot!

Ross

I was looking out for you!

Rachel

I am a big girl! I don't need someone telling what's best for me!

Ross

I've got to say, I've not had sex a lot of times before; this is the worst ever!

Rachel

It wasn't very good for me, either!

Rachel

[to the nurse] Excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.

Ross

And I'm Dr. Ross Geller.

Rachel

[turns to face Ross] Ross, please. This is a hospital, OK? That actually means something here.

Ross

[to Rachel] So, if you take this job you'll be moving to Paris?

Chandler

Or facing a bitch of a commute.

Ross

I don't get a goodbye?

Rachel

What?

Ross

Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What've I got to do to get a goodbye? Be best friends with you? Go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things!

Rachel

You really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care?

Ross

That's what it seemed like.

Rachel

I cannot believe that after ten years you do not know one thing about me!

Ross

Fine. Then why didn't you say something?

Rachel

Because it is too damn hard, Ross! I can't even begin to explain to you how much I am going to miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go. Okay? So if you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right? There's your goodbye.

Phoebe

Have you ever chased someone to the airport before?

Ross

Not since my cop show got canceled.

Rachel

[Rachel's cell phone rings] Hello?

Phoebe

Rachel! Oh good! Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane?

Rachel

Yeah.

Phoebe

[to Ross:] For what it's worth, we would've caught her if we were at the right airport.

Ross

[sarcastically] Yay...

Phoebe

Uh, Rach, hang on. [Phoebe holds out her phone to Ross, but he refuses to talk and repeatedly mouths "No!"]

Rachel

Phoebe, is everything okay?

Phoebe

Um... actually, no. No, y-you have to get off the plane.

Rachel

What, why?

Phoebe

I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left phalange.

Um, ahem, what was that?

Rachel

Oh! That was just my crazy friend. She told me I should get off the plane because she had a "feeling" that there was something wrong with the "left phalange".

Okay, uh, that doesn't sound good.

Rachel

Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this and you know what? She's almost never right.

But she is sometimes?

Rachel

Well?

Excuse me, sir? Where you going?

Okay, I have to off this plane, okay? Uh, her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left phalange.

Rachel

[to flight attendant] Could I get some peanuts?

What's wrong with the plane?

There's nothing wrong with the plane...

The left phalange.

There's no phalange!

Oh my...! This plane doesn't even have a phalange!

Well I'm not flying on it.

Ma'am, please sit down!

What's going on?!

We're all getting off, there is no phalange!

Rachel

Ah! This is ridiculous! I-- [she sees the passengers leave the plane and decides to leave as well] Yeah, okay.

Rachel

Ross? Hi, it's me. I just got back on the plane and I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I... wasn't expecting to see you and then all of the sudden, you're there and saying these things and... now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you... I love you... I love you... what am I doing? I love you. Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.

Ross

Oh, my god!

Rachel

[to flight attendant] Okay, e-excuse me--

Ma'am, please sit down!

Rachel

No, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, but I need to get off the plane, okay? I needed to tell someone that I love them.

Ma'am, I can't let you off the plane.

Ross

[listening to the conversation] Let her off the plane!!

I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat.

Rachel

Oh, please miss, you don't understand!

Ross

Try to understand!!

Rachel

Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you could just let me off the-- [the message cuts before Rachel finishes her sentence]

Ross

No, no!! Oh, my god, did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?

Rachel

[coming into room] I got off the plane.

Ross

You got off the plane.

Rachel

I do love you.

Ross

I love you, too, and I am never letting you go again.

Rachel

Okay, because this is where I want to be. Okay, no more of this, I don't wanna mess this up again.

Ross

Me either, okay, we are done being stupid.

Rachel

It's you and me, all right, this is it? You and me, this is it.

Ross

This is it. Unless we're on a break.

Ross

[to himself] Don't make jokes now...