Frasier · Season 8
Dr. Tewkesbury ascertains that Frasier's ex-wife is a psychiatrist
Well, that's a handy choice for someone who'd rather share ideas than emotions.
Have you ever met Lilith?
No.
(stuttering) Well, she happens to be a very warm and loving woman!
It is nearly time for Frasier's award presentation, and he has still not arrived
He'll be here in a minute. Just go up there and stall.
Stall? (beat) Stall?!
Yes, like that.
Frasier is driving Chelsea to see her first opera. Niles and Daphne are in the back seat
Oh, this is gonna be a whole new experience for me.
Why, you've never been bored before?
Niles realizes that students who coast through class are simply frustrated
So when Billy Kriezel tried to stuff you into your locker after math class, he wasn't really mad at you; he was mad at Pythagoras.
Which is ironic, because a simple volume equation would have shown him I couldn't fit.
It's like we wished it to happen, and then it did. Half of me feels guilty, the other half feels relieved... actually, it's about 30-70.
He has no instincts. He just stinks.
Frasier is about to go speed dating, and is explaining the idea to Roz
Basically, it's all the stress and humiliation of a blind date... times twelve.
Frasier is darting between Kenny and his wife in the apartment. Martin has not seen either of them
Dad, I thought you were going to clear out tonight. I've got a date!
Enter Kenny
Doc, I need you in the bedroom. (exit)
(pause) Pretty.
Daphne has tripped over
What happened?
Oh, Daphne tripped on something and fell.
Where's Eddie? Oh my god, Eddie! Eddie! (Eddie runs into the scene and jumps on the couch) (Martin sighs of relief) Oh, there he is. I thought maybe he ran away or something.
Oh darling, look at that, your ankle's swelling up already. (Points to it)
It's the other one!
Here, let me give you a hand.
Yeah, and no cracks, old man! I know I've gotten heavy and I've resolved to do something about it.
All right, on three. One, two, three! (Martin and Niles lift without results) Maybe the super has a hand truck.
Kill me!
(enters) Good lord, what happened?
Daphne twisted her ankle and fell. Come help us lift her.
Okay, boys, be careful. Use your legs. (The Crane men lift Daphne up)
Oh, bloody hell! I'm wearing two different shoes!
(Doorbell rings, Frasier goes to answer it, while Niles helps Daphne to her room)
Daphne, I just thought of somethin' funny: It took three Cranes to lift you!
Roz cannot take the basketball tickets that Frasier has been given
I have a date with this French guy, Jean-Pierre.
So that's it, huh? No Americans left.
Frasier finally loses patience with Niles' basking in glory
The story is: one upon a time, Niles Crane accidentally made a basket. The End!
During the argument with Roz, Frasier obliquely threatens to walk out
Well, I'm just saying that alienating me isn't probably in the best interests of the show.
Well, maybe "the show" would be better off without you.
Well, then maybe I should just leave "the show".
Well, maybe that's what "the show" wants you to do.
Well then, "the show" can BITE ME! (exit)
If I used you, it was only as the swift and terrible sword of Justice!
Niles distracts William while Frasier speaks to his mother about Bryce Academy
I overheard one of the servers discussing a one-act play he wants your mother to produce.
Okay, which one?
I think it was something by Chekhov.
After a very uninspiring Wine Corner, Frasier signs off with a remark about wine getting better with age, like a good woman
Aww, do you really believe that?
Oh, who cares, Roz? I stopped listening to myself ten minutes ago!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
