TV show quotes
I just hate how this arbitrary point on the calendar has become so significant. And as far as my hangover went, it was worth it; I partied my ass off like a brain-damaged test monkey.
I see. Well, allow me to congratulate you on your first science-related metaphor.
Thank you.
(on the phone) Niles! Where are you calling from?
(triumphantly) From behind the wheel of the Road Warrior! And doing a damn fine job of driving, I might add.
But I'm in the Road Warrior! You got in the wrong car, you idiot! You've stolen a Winnebago!
Daphne has a new and very powerful vacuum cleaner, but when she tries using it on Martin's chair it breaks down, with a small explosion
Well, apparently the "Dirt Scourge 2000" is no match for the "Dirt Pile 1957."
Niles questions whether Frasier needs as many musicians as he has
Whatever happened to the concept of "less is more"?
Ah, but if less is more, then just think of how much more "more" will be!
Roz is in Café Nervosa when Frasier runs into Lorna
So, are you going to ask her out?
Oh right, Legs Lenley and Crane the Brain! In my dreams!
Listen, I'm sorry to uproot you like this, it's just-
No, it's all right. I'd rather clear the decks for a date than for one of your theme parties. Though I am kinda sorry I missed "An Evening With Moe Howard."
That was Noël Coward!
Daphne is complaining that even being engaged doesn't guarantee a date on Valentine's Day
Donny had to fly out to Florida. His grandmother. She'd do anything to come between us.
What'd she do this time?
She died.
Frasier is embarrassed that Emily just kissed him and is now about to leave.
You're embarrassed?! They think the best I can do is an old man with a cane!
Frasier does not want Chuck Ranberg to stand in for Roz, on account of his amusing speech impediment
Hey, Chuck. How's it going?
Oh, tewwible, Woz! My wife was in the Cawibbean and she weft me for a Wastafawian!
Martin has suggested that Frasier refuses to restrain Mary because she is black; Frasier denies it
Oh, come now, Frasier. You can't deny a certain measure of guilt, living as you do in your exclusive lily-white world.
Niles, owning the CD of "Ella sings Gershwin" does not qualify you as a soul brother!
We have the Wine Club tonight. I'm sort of counting on him to help me become "corkmaster."
But you'll still keep your secret identity as Frasier Crane, right?
[Wine Club members address Niles, the new corkmaster, to the tune of Rule, Britannia.]
Hail, corkmaster,
The master of the cork,
He knows which wine goes with fish or pork!
[Niles is asking where Martin is.]
He's with Donny. They went to a tractor pull.
(as though understanding) Oh...
(gives her a questioning look)
As I understand it, they attach a large weight to a tractor, and see how far they can pull it through the mud.
(as though understanding) Oh...
(gives her another questioning look)
The answer to your next question is, "beats the hell out of me!"
Lilith was insufferable, but she's got a new boyfriend. Some twenty-eight year-old named Marcel. He's a contortionist with the Cirque du Soleil.
She's dating French circus folk?
Yes, well, he's actually perfect for Lilith. He has no apparent spine and she can wrap him around her finger.
Say, you know my agent, Bebe, said she might be stopping by. Have you heard anything?
No, and I hope she's not staying for lunch, I'm afraid we're fresh out of live mice.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
