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Frasier quotes

546 quotes · page 22 of 37

S6 E20Dr. Nora

Fraiser has brought in Dr. Nora's mother to reconcile and to end their war as Roz shows Mrs. Mulhern in. Frasier lowers the receiver so Nora doesn't hear him say:

Mrs. Mulhern. [Mrs. Mulhern goes into the radio booth and stands behind Nora].

MMulhern

You little whore! [Four sets of jaws drop — Frasier's, Roz's, George's and Nora's].

NNora

MOTHER!

MMulhern

So, you thought you could get away from me, did you? Thought you could leave me to rot in that dump without barely enough cash for a bottle of Mateus! You'll pay for that, missy!

[jumping for joy] I was wrong, Frasier! Your way is better! [Frasier tries to enter the booth].

Mrs. Mulhern— [She shoves him out and locks the door].

MMulhern

Keep out of this!

NNora

Mother, please! I am doing my show!

MMulhern

Yes, you're Little Miss Perfect now, aren't you? Telling everybody else how wicked they are! They should hear about your past! [Frasier tries to enter through the other door].

Mrs. Mulhern, please! [She shoves him out and locks the other door].

MMulhern

The shame you brought on me, you ungrateful tramp!

NNora

[crying] Mother, please, I'm a good girl now.

MMulhern

How you were paid — paid! — to leave town, by that nice boy's family.

For God's sake, Nora, go to a commercial!

NNora

There, Seattle, now you know what I mean when I say there are some people you just don't need in your life! [goes to commercial] Help me out, George! [She throws off her headphones and rushes into the producer's booth].

MMulhern

What are they paying you here? I want my cut! [George closes the door and fights to hold it shut].

NNora

I knew that you hated me, but I just can't believe you could be so cruel!

I was trying to help! She seemed delightful on the phone!

MMulhern

[knocking on the glass] I want fifty dollars right now!

NNora

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO MOVE BEFORE I'M FINALLY RID OF HER?! [She runs out into the hallway. Mrs. Mulhern goes out the other door to head her off].

[yelling after her] Nora, I'm sorry!

MMulhern

[yelling after her] You owe me, missy! I gave you life! [Nora screams like a madwoman while George runs out after them]].

Frasier, we've got dead air! [Frasier goes into the radio booth while Roz shuts the doors and grabs some carts]

[hits "On Air"] Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. I'm sure Dr. Nora's listeners join me in hoping she and her mother can resolve these differences very soon. They're off to a bit of a bumpy start. [Nora screams again as the chase takes them by the booth].

But at least the lines of communication are open.

[Another scream comes, louder and clearly audible over the air. Frasier can only gape at Roz].

S6 E21When a Man Loves Two Women

Niles learns that Frasier had a date the previous evening, and expresses his condolences, assuming it went badly.

A brisk game of squash would be the best thing for you. I can't think of a better way to lift your spirits.

[Enter Cassandra]

CCassandra

Good morning.

Keep thinking.

Frasier now has both Faye and Cassandra in the apartment, each unaware of the other's presence. Niles has only seen Cassandra.

This is a disaster!

What is?

[Faye enters.]

FFaye

Hi, Niles.

Oh, I'm up to speed!

S6 E22Visions of Daphne

Daphne tells Frasier about Niles' advice regarding her vision

Unlike you, he believes in my visions. He knows I have a gift. (exit)

Yes, and he's been trying to unwrap it for six years!

Daphne tells Niles about her vision

[excited] I think I know who this person is.

You do?

Yes.

Well, I don't see how you could. I couldn't tell myself. He was standing in the shadows and I couldn't see his face. All I could make out was that he was wearing a red bow tie.

I don't have a... [realizes] clue why anyone would wear such a thing to a wedding.

S6 E23Shutout in Seattle

Frasier wants to know what happened to his favorite scented candle in the bathroom

I'm going to let my attorney handle this one.

DDonny

I'm sorry, Frasier, you know. I guess after a little champagne we got into the mood, and into the nude, and into the tub. And don't worry; we'll replace the candle.

If only you could replace the image.

Kit is out smoking on Frasier's balcony, and coughing at intervals

She's so free, so spontaneous. She has breathed new life into me.

You may have to return the favor.

S7 E1Momma Mia

Martin has just met Mia, and is shocked at how much she resembles his late wife. She seems to like the cabin

MMia

I feel like I'm in Heaven.

I'm starting to feel that way myself.

Frankly, I wish you'd start seeing someone about this bug phobia of yours.

It is not a phobia! I have a healthy fear of our natural predators. It's us versus them, and frankly, I'm starting to wonder just whose side you're on!

S7 E2Father of the Bride

Frasier, do you remember the time the Kreizel brothers tied me to their Great Dane and lobbed meatballs down their gravel driveway?

I told you, Niles: I would have helped you, but their sister was holding me down.

[about his date] She was... a cat person. She brought her cat on our date. Well, she had good reason: it was Mr. Waggles's birthday. Actually, his birthday party. Actually, his surprise birthday party!

S7 E3Radio Wars

Frasier is not happy that Martin found the prank phonecall so amusing

D'you think you could get me a tape of the show?

What on Earth for?

How often d'you get to hear your son on the radio?

(glares at him) I'm on the radio EVERY DAY!

Martin has pointed out to his sons that bullies have always targeted them because they acted like they were above everyone else

Daphne, tell me: do you think we're snobby, superior and condescending?

That's it! I'm getting me door soundproofed!

S7 E4Everyone's a Critic

Roz has arrived in Café Nervosa, and seen Poppy at another table with some other KACL workers

I see Poppy's having a little party.

That is not a party; that's a hostage situation.

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