TV show quotes
[Martin has begun dating a woman that Frasier found attractive]
Well... it's not as if we were standing side-by-side when she chose you. I was at the bar! If you'd gone to get the drinks, things would have been different.
I don't think so.
Dad, I'm drowning here. Please, throw me a line!
[Roz cannot believe how Niles spends his money]
You spend money like a drunken sailor.
She said authoritatively.
[Niles doesn't believe Bebe can quit smoking on her own]
You obviously didn't see the crazed, cunning glint in her eyes.
She always looks like that - she's an agent.
Roz wonders what she is doing wrong, if all her friends are getting married but not she
Well, do you want me to answer as a friend, or a therapist?
As a friend.
See a therapist.
Frasier regrets trying to persuade Roz, and neglects to notice the on-air light behind him
Me and my stupid advice! (sees the light)…will be with you for the next three hours, Seattle!
Martin reminds Frasier of a school play in which he appeared, which was warmly received but had one bad review
But, you know, you would have sulked too, if you'd read in the paper, “Mr. Crane's attempts to gyrate his hips as Conrad, the teen idol in Bye Bye Birdie, made this reviewer say, ‘Bye-bye, breakfast!’ ”
That review was a mash note compared to my first draft.
On the way out to dinner with the family, Frasier pulls up outside a news stall
There he is: the man who doesn’t like me.
I knew we should’ve taken two cars!
Daphne is explaining to Frasier how tedious she finds holidays spent at home in England
Oh, Dr. Crane, why is it so easy to love our families, yet so hard to like them?
Well, Daphne, that is one of those questions that make life so rich…and psychiatrists richer.
Frasier is having a bad first day at KACL
In the last week, I've uprooted myself from my home of fifteen years, moved all the way across the country away from everything I care about, and plunged myself into a frightening new career! The first few nerve-racking moments, I walk in here and find my Producer lobbying to get herself transferred to another show! Abe Lincoln had a brighter future when he picked up his tickets at the box office!
Martin is trying to persuade one of his sons to go with him to his platoon reunion
Come on, they're great guys: Stinky, Wolfman, Boom-Boom, Jim. Of course, his name's not really Jim; we call him that because he likes to drink Jim Beam. Just like we call Hank “Bud” because he drinks Budweiser. Come on, you'd love these guys!
We're sherry drinkers, Dad. Think about it.
[Daphne is pretending to be Niles' wife in order to let her ex-fiancé down easily.]
Daphne, I noticed in the phone book, you're still listed as Moon.
That must be an old book. Now she hyphenates. It's Moon-Crane.
[pretending to be a retired astronaut] I remember the first time I drove a moon crane. Damn near rolled it right into the Sea of Tranquility!
Hey, I have no sense of decency. That way, my other senses are enhanced!
It seems that Bulldog is in love
You know what? I gotta call her. (picks up the phone) No, wait. No, I gotta play hard to get. (slams phone down) But I miss the sound of her voice. I’m calling her. (picks up phone) No, wait. It’s too needy. Chicks hate that. (puts phone down) I shouldn’t call her. But I want to! (picks up phone before putting it down again) Doc, what should I do?!
Don’t ask me. I don’t even know who you are!
Niles is relating an episode from that day
I hardly need to tell you how the story ends.
Just tell me when the story ends.
Frasier tells his father the truth about his dream
The dream is really about me and a male co-worker, Gil Chesterton.
You don't care if I ever sleep again, do you?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
