Sam Burger quotes from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Frankie

[satisfied] Best Adopt-a-Thought Saturday ever, if I do say so myself. Listen to this. [reads some letters] "I couldn't be happier." And this! [reads another] "I love my new family." [and another] "I have found paradise on Earth. Thank you, Foster's."

Mac

Here's one from eight-armed Evan. [reading] "I'm writing to seven of my little boy's pen pals while I write this note to you. I have never felt more fulfilled."

Frankie

Here's one from… Cheese? [reading] "Dear Voice man, please send me the thing you showed me on the TV. Here is my $8.95." [pennies fall out; annoyed] "In pennies."

Mac

Here's a postcard from Sam Burger. [reading] "Dear Foster's, things are great. My new friend…"

[voiceover] …Ronald is great! And boy, is he generous. Ronald has paid for both of us to go on a world cruise.

Frankie

Here's a short note from Bloppy Pants! [reading] "I have never been surrounded by so much love." [touched] Aww, isn't that sweet?

[places his elbow on Bloppy Pants' head] Hey, bro, pass the sauce.

[uncomfortably] Well, I'm not sure that I can reach--

[grabs him by the cheeks] My sweet baby boy! Have another helping of brisket. You want to grow up big and strong like your brothers, don't you?

[blushing] Well, I… [a piece of brisket lands on his plate; whimpers uncomfortably as he sinks]

Mac

Hey, Fluffer Nutter. What's going on with Jackie?

Frankie

Is everything okay?

Fluffer Nutter

He's fine! [crumples up the letter] He's very, very happy! [throws the crumpled-up letter at Mac, hitting him in the forehead, and runs off, bawling]

Mac

[picks up and unfolds the crumpled letter; reading] "Yo, Foster's. Hope there ain't no hard feelings for dropping y'all a line sooner…"

Jackie

[voiceover] …but I didn't want to rub your poor, pitiful noses in my good luck. But what can I say? My new crib has got it going on. It's loaded with tons of pricey toys. Got my new old lady eating out of the palm of my hand. And speaking of eating, how's about a 24-hour all-access pass to the family fridge? Boo-yah! I ain't met the kid that I'm supposed to hang with yet, but Tabby comes home from the hospital later today. I'll have her in my pocket by dinner time.

Mac

[finishing up reading] "Which reminds me, it's time for my mid-morning sandwich. Peace out, Jackie K."

[as Frankie answers the door] Telegram for Foster from Mr. Soppy Plants.

Frankie

Oh, do you mean Bloppy Pants?

Look, lady, they pay me to deliver 'em, okay? Reading 'em right, that's your business. Now, are you Foster or what?

Frankie

[takes the telegram] Yeah, I'm Foster. [closes the door, then looks at the telegram] This is strange.

Mac

What's it say?

Frankie

[reading] "Family life didn't suit me. Have landed in a quiet college town and decided to go back to school."

Madame Foster

Let's see here. [reading Sam Burger's message from the bottle] "Ronald and I have survived the shipwreck and washed to shore on a deserted island."

[writing his message; desperately] I hope this note reaches someone in time. We're running out of coconuts. There's nothing else to eat. [looks over to Ronald, craving with hunger and hallucinating] And I don't like the way Ronald is looking at me. Ronnie? You doing okay? [Ronald hallucinates him as a chicken drumstick] Ron? It's me, your old pal Sam. Ron?

Mr. Herriman

[shocked] Master Bloppy Pants?! What have you done?!

Only thing I could do! Had to escape the horrors of the outside world! COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! [opens up the back doors of the truck, revealing all the recently adopted imaginary friends] So I went and saved the others and brought us all back to Foster's.

Fluffer Nutter

[hugs Jackie as he hops out; happily] Jackie!

Jackie

Who loves you, baby?

I was actually quite happy in my new home.

[surprised as Sam Burger hops out] Sam Burger?!

Madame Foster

[puzzled] But how did you-- how could you-- who am I?

That Bloppy Pants is a miracle worker.

[as Eduardo is the last to hop out of the truck; happily] Eduardo!

Bloo

[surprised] But, but… we thought you were shot!

Eduardo

Sí. I was shot. [takes out a magazine with him on the cover] With a telephoto lens. The hunters turned out to be reporters looking for Samsquatch, or Bigfoot. Then they got a good look at me, and start calling me "big butt" instead. I no can stay Ezzie anymore. Her papa no like the paparazzi. Be honest, does this photo make my heinie look muy grande?

Mac

It's good to have you home, Ed.