Mac quotes from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Mac

Frankie, explain sarcasm to Bloo.

Frankie

What? You don't understand sarcasm?

Bloo

No.

Frankie

But you use it the rest of the other time.

Bloo

Right. I use it for the rest of the other time.

Frankie

See? You just used it.

Bloo

I did? Sure I did, Frankie.

Mac

You're totally trying to mess with us, aren't you?

Terrence

I'm counting on it.

Mac

I'm telling Mom!

Madame Foster

Run for your lives, boys! I'll stave him off!

Mac

What about Wilt?

Wilt

Don't worry Mac. I'll probably sink before the bear gets me.

Mac

What? Why do they know we were coming?

Bloo

The mighty eye of Foster sees all.

Duchess

[as it starts to rain; to Mac & Bloo] I assume you didn't bring an umbrella.

Madame Foster

Give 'em no mercy cause if Duchess returns, you ain't getting any from her.

Mac

[to Frankie] If it's not trouble, Frankie, can you forward my postcards to Bloo's new home after he gets adopted?

Frankie

What? Where're you going?

Mac

Oh, you know, Singapore.

Singapore?!

Mac

Yeah, my favorite mom can't stand Duchess living next door to us anymore, so we're moving to Singapore. Didn't Terrence tell you?

Terrence

Uh... um... As they say in Wisconsin: Sayonara! [dashes away]

Mac

Is this the flight to Europe?

Yes, it is. You just made it.

Mac

We made it! We made it!

Tickets?

Mac

I like to have them! [gets them out of his backpack but realizes they're not in there]

Frankie

[annoyed] Grandma, we're home!

Mr. Herriman

Oh, Master Mac. I'm upset by your careless behavior. My schedule is null and void.

Coco

Co! Coco coco co!

I es muy disappointed in you, Señor Mac.

Wilt

Usually, I can forgive anything, but… [sniffs] I'm sorry. This is going to take me a while. Is that okay?

Bloo

Real nice, Mac. Do you know how long I've been looking forward to this trip? I wouldn't give it up for the world. For the world.

Mac

But they were in my backpack, I swear.

Mac

You guys, what happened?

Frankie

We had to sleep in the bus. That's what happened.

Mr. Herriman

Oh, the house has become so frightfully full that is actually far more comfortable to lie on these ancient benches [pulls out a spring.]

Mac

Gosh, guys. I'm really sorry. I--

Mr. Herriman

Well, you should be. We've been very patient with you, Master Mac, but I'm afraid there must be consequences for your inaction. From now on, you--

Frankie

Maybe I should tell him.

Mac

Tell me what?

Frankie

Mac, we've been talking, and, well, we know how very much in love you are with your girlfriend [Mac groans] and, well, since she only comes around to see you, and you won't ask her to leave, we kind of think you shouldn't, you know, [frowns] come to Foster's anymore.

Mac

[shocked] What? But what about Ches... I mean, Bloo?

Mr. Herriman

Our agreement to house Master Blooregard will stand firm as long as you, Master Mac, stay away.

Mr. Herriman

I'm sorry, Master Mac. But it is for the best.

Goo

Oh, my gosh, Mac. I totally forgot to tell you about something and I totally remembered it when you were on the bus talking to that badger and that crazy angry lady, and I was outside communing with the animals like I always do on my family vacations in Wisconsin, and I suddenly remembered about the thing I've been wanting to do for, like, a long, long, long, long, long time, and I kept forgetting. And, you know, my mom says that sometimes memory loss is a sign of a protein deficiency, but I don't think that pertains to me, 'cause I eat lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of bananas. In fact, you could probably say I'm Bananas about bananas. Get it, Mac? Bananas? Get it? Do you get it, Mac? Do you get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it...? I know you wouldn't get it. Well, anyway, I just wanted to give you this, 'cause I've been thinking about all the time we've been spending together, and since we're best friends and all, and I really wanted to--

Mac

[snapping at Goo after being barred from Foster's] I-DON'T-LIKE-YOU! Don't you get it? Nobody likes you! You're annoying and weird and you talk too much, and Bloo's name is not Chester, Mr. Herriman is not a badger, that's not how you play checkers, and protein doesn't come from bananas, it comes from nuts, which you don't need to eat more of because you are nuts! You're chock full of nuts! You're so nuts, you drive me nuts! [jumps in Goo's face] Get it? Getitgetitgetitgetitgetitgetitgetitgetitgetitgetitgetitgetitgetitgetitgetit?! Everybody thinks you're a nuisance and they all want you to just GO HOME! [Goo becomes sad and upset upon hearing Mac's words] Well?! [so she drops a box in front of him and runs off. Mac opens it and discovers his backpack inside. He also sees that the strap has been fixed and he reads a note on his backpack] "To Mac. Thanks for being so nice to me all the time. Your friend, Goo." Great.

Bloo

[with ticks all over his body] Look at me! I got new fleas and they're bigger than yours! They are super fleas.

Mac

Bloo, those are ticks. They suck out your blood.

Bloo

Yeah, ri-- [faints]

Mac

Merry Christmas Eve!

Mac!

Wilt

Come on in, Mac! We saved the star for you! Is that okay?

Mac

Are you kidding? Of course it's o… [Wilt picks him up] Whoa! [places the star on top of the tree]

Yay!

Wilt

[sets Mac back down] I'm sorry, but I'm so excited!

Coco

Coco! Coco! Coco! Co!

Wilt

That's right! 'Cause tomorrow is our first Christmas with Mac and Bloo! This is gonna be the best Christmas ever!

Mr. Herriman

Oh, this is going to be the worst Christmas ever! Where is Miss Frances?

Wilt

Uh, I'm sorry, Mr. H. I think she went out.

Mr. Herriman

Oh, for goodness sake! Probably out holiday shopping again I suppose! She's neglected to pay these utility bills on time just like she did last December! The world does not stop turning for the holidays you know! She should expect to find a good talking-to under the tree this year! Hmph!

Mac

Wow, I didn't know Mr. Herriman was such a Scrooge.

Wilt

Oh, he's not so bad. He gets a little stressed, but every year he makes sure there's just enough money to get every friend in the house one whole Christmas present.

Frankie

All Santas please follow the signs to Mr. Herriman's office to fill out your paperwork! Single file, please! Single file… [shouting in annoyance] I SAID, SINGLE FILE!!! [politely] Thank you! [sighs] Every dang year. I tell ya. [turns to Mac] Hey, Mac. Merry Christmas… Eve.

Mac

[speechless at what he saw] Wha…? How? Were those all…?

Frankie

Yep. Imaginary Santas. Kids get so excited about Christmas, tons of these guys get imagined. It happens every year.

Mac

So, none of these guys were the real Santa?

Frankie

Pfft. As much as my Great Aunt Fanny.

Mac

Well, what does that mean?

Frankie

Oh, nothing. Listen, Mac, if you see the real Santa Claus, tell him I want magical self-cleaning toilets for Christmas. [leaves by giving Mac a double-thumbs up and a wink]

Mac

There's no Santa. Eh... No Santa. [lays on his side] Eh... No Santa. [shivers]

Bloo

This is a travesty! This is the most catastrophic, cataclysmic, cata... cata... cata-awful occurrence this world has ever known! Do you realize what this means?!

Mac

It means that everything in the world is a lie! [sobs]

Bloo

Um, no! It means I get one crummy gift this year! And you know it's gonna be lame because it's from Herriman! He's probably gonna get me socks! Socks, Mac. SOCKS! No! No! I refuse to accept it. Santa's real! Real I tell you!

Mac

Just think about it. Nothing about Santa makes any logical sense. Man, I'm so stupid! I actually believed that a huge fat guy can get his big behind down a chimney. I totally bought at someone could miraculously travel around the world in just one night. I mean, geez! That's just so totally bogus! Even with magic deer! And as such a total bonehead, I completely fell for it that someone that lives in the North Pole has some resources to manufacture and produce brand name toys. And not get his jolly red suit... [Bloo slaps him] Ow!

Bloo

[shakes Mac] Get a hold of yourself! I'm not going to give up Santa without a fight! And neither will you! [continuously shakes Mac] Do you hear me?!

Mac

[feeling dizzy] Yes, just stop shaking me!

Bloo

[drops Mac] Come on. We're going to conduct a few experiments.

Mac, honey, wake up.

Terrence

Yeah, it's Christmas, dork!

[annoyed] Terrence.

Mac

[smacks his lips, yawn, and gets out his bed, looking outside of the snowy neighborhood from the window] All right, Santa, show me what you got.

Come on, Mac!

Terrence

[carrying a present] Come and get your presents from Santa, loser.

Mac

[as he arrives at Foster's and approaches the front door; sighs] This is the worst Christmas ever. [opens the door, surprised to see Wilt standing there]

Wilt

Mac! You almost missed the best Christmas ever!

Mac

Hi. I'm Mac, and this is my movie. [turns the camera to the house] That's Foster's. [turns the camera back to himself] Every day after school, I come here and hang out with a bunch of imaginary friends. Let's go meet them. [walks up to the house and enters the foyer]

Eduardo

[sees Mac recording while reading a magazine; waving] Hola, Señor Mac! Que is that for?

Mac

I'm shooting a movie about you guys for school. Just be yourself.

Bloo

We lost! We lost! I can't believe we lost!

Mac

Bloo, the movie didn't have an ending.

Bloo

What are you talking about? Audiences today don't care about endings. As long as everything else is awesome, you don't need an en...