Fanboy & Chum Chum Season 2 quotes

Chum Chum

Uh...Fanboy? I think you might have a toothache.

Fanboy

A toothache? [sarcastic laugh] Oh, impossible. I brush my teeth all the time! Every tooth, every day.

Chum Chum

Okay, then --

Fanboy

Except for Toothy. Oh ho ho, he hates to be brushed. See? Ahh... [reveals a tooth in his lower left jaw which is dirty and broken, revealed to be "Toothy"]

Chum Chum

Oh...goh...I think you'd better go to the dentist! [sees a fly land on "Toothy" and holds nose] And maybe an exterminator!

Fanboy

Oh, no! No dentist is coming near these pearly whites! And this charcoal grey.

Chum Chum

But, Dr. Plaqula is fun! He has the best toys...

Chum Chum

...and the awesome-est free toothbrushes. And at the end, you get a lollipop!

Fanboy

Already got one! It's been stuck in Toothy for years. Ah... [reveals a lollipop stuck next to "Toothy"]

Nobody Move!

Lenny

AHHH! [Points To The wanted Poster Of The Burgle Brats] The burgle Brats!

So, You've Heard of us? good! Now, Keep your hands up, and your mouths shut, and Nobody Will Need to change Their Diapers!

I Can't Put My Hands Up! I'm Almost at the record!

Fanboy

[Points To Boog] Boog, Keep Playing! [Points To Dollarnator] Dollarnator, Keep Filming! [To Chum Chum] Come on, mad-dog, we're on!

Chum Chum

[Holds a pacifier] I'm Getting too old for this.

Fanboy

[after he drank the potion] Ta-da! [Chum Chum gasps] Huh? Huh?

Chum Chum

Uh, maybe you need some more whoopee cushion air?

Fanboy

[turns around and realizes his face is still normal] Hmm. That's weird. The potion should’ve taken effect by now. [stomach gurgles; screams as his limbs start shaking and jumps into the air, beams of light shoot out of his hands, feet, and mouth]

Chum Chum

[Fanboy lands on his desk and gasps; then Fanboy with a kooky face jumps off and guffaws] It's… It's… amazing!

Chum Chum

Kyle, thank you so much for saving us from that mob!

Kyle

Yes, well I had to ensure they wouldn't get their hands on that...WINNING CUP! Which I shall pluck from your ashes, once I char you...with the FIRES OF RAGNAR!!! [laughs evilly]

Fanboy

Seems a bit over-the-top...why don't we just share?

Kyle

What?

Chum Chum

We can share the prize! Then, you can give Ragnar back his fireball.

Kyle

Oh, thank you. That's quite nice of -- Wait a minute! NO! Kyle the Conjurer doesn't share! He SUMMONS THE FIRES OF RAGNAR...and TAKES.

Fanboy

Ooh, ooh, ohh! Let's just all write our names on the cup! That way, we can officially split, 50/50/50!

Kyle

Well...okay. But you two have the knack for taking the fun out of everything. Oh-ho-ho, I see what you're trying to do! You wrapped the winning cup with a contract, written in invisible ink. And if I sign, I'll have no memory of the cup. And I'll probably be poofed out of existence. Heh. SO if anyone is going to execute a devious plot, it will be me: Kyle the Conjurer! Mark my words, this isn't over! I'LL BE BACK! [briefly disappears] Wait, this is my mountain. You go.

Sigmund

Congratulations on your purchase of my latest und greatest Merchan-dazzle: Sigmund ze Sorcerer's Vizard Challenge!

Whoa!

Kyle

Ugh, even his hologram is insufferable!

Sigmund

You!

Fanboy

Me!, Oh he picked me!

Sigmund

Are you ready for ze ultimate video game challenge?

Fanboy

Yes!, My life's work has led to this moment.

Sigmund

Zhen, enter your vizard name.

Sigmund

Fandalf! Gorlock! Pyle the Insignificant, choose your controllers!

Awesome!

Kyle

Wait, What -- what about me? Where's my controller?

Sigmund

Vands are for vizards! You will be the shoe.

Kyle

Oh, Milkweed. Your forgotten son has returned-- [something falls and bounced on his head, landing on his hands] What the elf is this?

Fanboy

[when the lights turn on, showing they returned back to reality] Ooh!, It's a board game!

Chum Chum

Milkweed Academy: The Home Game.

Kyle

You mean I've been busting my shoe just to win a stupid game for children?!

Fanboy

Not just for children!, Fun for ages 8 to 888.

Kyle

[slamming the board game on the floor] THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

Sigmund

[suddenly on orb hologram] But Kyle, you didn't foolishly think that playing a video game vould get you into ze most exclusive school in the universe, did you?

Kyle

Yes, that is what your ambiguous marketing led me to -- wait. How did you know my name?

Sigmund

Hmm, how indeed Kyle?, Could be zat I am not the hologram, but rather ze real Sigmund surrounded by a glowly spell? Oh, Kyle. It seems zat you vill never learn! [Sigmund Laughs, Suddenly freezes and grunting] Vait!, Vhy am I not able to move ze limbs?!

Look, everyone! The latest piece in my "Chalks of the World" set came! Check it out! The Leaning Chalk Tower of Pisa, ooh! I can't wait to use it! Suck-Up! Get up here and erase this board! [pause] Hey, where's Suck-Up?

Chum Chum

[gasp] Kyle's not in here to erase the board! Now's our chance!

Fanboy

Hmm?

Chum Chum

This is what we trained for.

Fanboy

I can't! I'm too nervous! [wimpers]

Chum Chum

Just picture everyone in their underwear...on the outside of their clothes.

Fanboy

[grunts] Uh, I can only picture you! [then, bravely] But it's enough.

Greetings, Super Chum. It is I, your arch enemy, the Fannihilator.

It's the Fannihilator, your archenemy!

Super Chum

Correct As Usual, Captain Obvious! So, Fannihilator, Perhaps You Can Shed Some light On my missing peanut butter.

Fanboy

"And then, as her three tongues licked her seven lips, he realized that she was a..."

FACE-EATING ALIEN FROM PLANET X!

Fanboy

I am shocked to my very core, Chum Chum. If this children's comic book is to be believed, there are Face-Eating Aliens living among us.

Chum Chum

And they look exactly like everyone else! And the only way to recognize them is by their horrible screech!

HI!!!

Chum Chum

Girls are so funny. "Pass these notes and make sure you don't read it. It's for girls only."

Fanboy

Unless...They are not girls at all! ask yourself, Chum Chum. Why would a group of girls get together on a Saturday night?

Chum Chum

To braid each other's hair and glue rhinestones to cookies?

Fanboy

Ha, ha, ha, ha! I don't think so. No, I think you'll find the far more rational explanation is...THEY'RE FACE-EATING ALIENS FROM PLANET X!

Chum Chum

[gasp, choke] I sucked in some glitter.

Fanboy

See for yourself. What are those girls doing right now?

Chum Chum

Jumping rope?

Fanboy

Sure. They might be jumping rope, or they might be -- SPOOLING UP A WORMHOLE SO THEY CAN TELEPORT BACK TO PLANET X. WHERE THEY'LL HOST THEIR EVIL ALIEN BANQUET. The main course? FACE!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Lupe

It is Fanboy and Chum Chum!

[gasps] The ultimate violation of slumber party protocol!

These boys have to be punished!

Fanboy

This is the part where they eat our faces!

Fanboy

[gasps] They didn't eat our faces!

Chum Chum

But they did kiss them...!

THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!!!!!!

Fanboy

Well, at least we know the girls aren't aliens, am I right?

I can't believe they thought we were Face-Eating Aliens!

I knoooooow! We're Head-Eating Aliens. [opens fridge revealing lifelike heads]

I like Fankylechum!

Did you remember to open the pressure valve?

[shakes head] Eeeyup!

So, ya did remember?

[shakes head] Eeeeeyup!

You remembered to open the pressure valve that releases the dangerous steam that builds and builds and could cause the entire machine to explode?

[shakes head] Eeeeeeeeyup!

Why do you keep askin' him that? What part of "yep" don't you understand?!

It's just that he keeps shakin' his head "no" when he sayin' "yep"!

Ohh! Well, that's because "yep" is gibberish for "No, I most certaintly did not release the pressure valve as you requested. I'm a humble man with many shortcomings, but I am just as he made me. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. Sincerely, Chumtholomew."

What? What? Are -- are you kiddin'?

[shakes head] Eeeyup!