You never get used to that sound.
S1Marsha, Marsha, Marsha
[Fanboy sees Marsha]
Whoa. Look at the size of her. Somebody's been drinking their milk.
[Marsha approaches Fanboy]
I think she heard you.
Hello, Fanboy. Remember me? It's Marsha.
Who? Come again?
[spitting, Fanboy and Chum Chum pull out an umbrella to try and guard themselves from Marsha's spit] Marsssssssha.
Oh, sure. You're that-we used to-didn't we-you know, over by the um-yeah, I got nothing.
[shows photo] Maybe this will refresh your memory. [points at Fanboy on the photo] This is you, and [points at herself on the photo] that was me!
But that was Marsha. She was all nice and sweet. And you...ooh.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU RUINED ME!
[Flashback to years ago when she was chipper]
One minute left. No pressure, kids, but your entire future depends on how you do on this test. Not that my prized pupil Marsha has anything to worry about!
[Marsha cheerfully places an apple on Mr. Mufflin’s head]
Hey, Chum Chum. [points at pencils stuck up his nose] Check me out!
Time's up. Pass your tests forward.
[Sneezes on Marsha's test] Best of luck, Marsha.
[End of flashback]
YOU RUINED MY TEST! I scored so low, they sent me back to kindergarten!
Oh, that Marsha.
I used to read two levels above my grade, now I spend my days writing "Pat sat on a mat" with a pencil that’s fat! [breaks a pencil that matches what she said] It's all so...
OMiss Olive
[off camera] Does anyone have to go potty?
I have to make a tinky-wink! [To Fanboy, with her eyeballs protruding toward him] Humiliating.
I’m sorry, Marsha. I had no idea! Maybe you could take the test...again?
I'm stuck in here!
Uhh, well maybe I could take it for you. I think I still got a few answers up here.
Oh-ho-ho, It’s too late for tests! Now is the time for revenge! [points at the clock] See the little hand’s on the eight, and the big hand’s on...your throat!
OMiss Olive
[off camera] Snack Time, everyone!
Ooh! Orange slices! [Rips off her pigtails. At Fanboy] You got lucky this time, Fanboy, but come naptime, you're gonna take...a PERMANENT nap!
But it's really nice to see you, Chum Chum.
Wow, Marsha looks great, huh?
[nervously] Uh, yeah.
No! [To Miss Olive] Uh, Miss Olive? I was thinking. Naps are very healthy for growing bodies, but so is Vitamin D! And what better source of Vitamin D than the warming rays of... "'[Opens the blinds and sees a solar eclipse, gasping] A solar eclipse?!? CURSE YOU, SEMI-ELLIPTICAL ORBIT!!! You know what we need? Music. [goes over to the record player and turns up the volume] Okay, everybody! On your feet!
OMiss Olive
Let’s all close our eyes and take the cloud-ferry to Sleepy time Island.
OMiss Olive
Ut, ut, ut. When we go night-night, there's no light-light.
OMiss Olive
Now, now, light switches aren't for little hands.
Huh?
OMiss Olive
Okay, [giggles] I think someone needs a time out! Come along, Mister. You’re going to spend naptime in the gingerbread house. [Shows him a toy gingerbread playhouse]
You mean me? In there? All alone? The whole time? Well, if you think it’s best.
Well, Marsha, looks like you messed with the wrong coward. [notices a graffiti on the wall] Huh. [reading] "Marsha was here." [sees more graffitis of him being cooked in a cauldron, Marsha feeding him to a shark, her jumping on him, and her riding on a rat, commanding it to eat him alive; gasps in horrified shock by seeing these, and spots one more that reads…] "Marsha is here." [Zoom out to see Marsha standing in front of him and staring evilly at him; screams] MARSHA! How-how-how did you get in here so fast?!
I said "poopy."
That's it?
I've got priors.
[sits down] Marsha, stay back. [stands up with toy scissors] I'm warning you! These can almost cut paper! [She swats them away] AHH! HELP!! HELP ANYONE!!!
I've been dreaming of this moment during every naptime! Nothing is going to stop me from getting my revenge! REVENGE!
S1Secret Shopper
Don't you understand what this means? Wait till the Secret Shopper sees these violations. We'll get fired for sure!
BBoog
They can't fire you if you're not here.
Works for me!
Lenny's not sleeping behind the counter! Boog's not goofing off at the Chimp Chomp machine! Who's gonna peel the skin off the nacho cheese? Who's gonna wipe the sweat off the hot dogs?! Who's gonna pick the flies out of the mayonnaise and put em in the chili?!? THIS PLACE IS GONNA FALL APART!
Not on MY WATCH! [smacks a fly]
Hurry, before he's inconvenienced!
S1Prank Master
Gum-gum, Chum Chum? [hands Chum Chum some chewing gum. Chum Chum chews it, then opens his mouth to reveal a purple-toothed smile]
It tastes like purple!
[Fanboy falls after Yo ties his shoelaces]
YYo
Yay! My first prank!
Beginners' luck, Yo.
YYo
Here, let me help you up! [electrocutes Fanboy as she does]
Got me again. You're a fast learner.
YYo
(hands Fanboy a cup of water) You look like you could use some water.
That would be...(a piranha bites Fanboy's nose) PIRANHA!!!!! (bangs his head on the floor than tosses the piranha off his nose) You got quite a streak going, Yo.
YYo
And I owe it all to you! (hands Fanboy a present) Here, I want you to have this present.
Oooh! I like... (Sprinkles the bear jumps out of the box and attacks Fanboy)
YYo
Thanks a lot, Fanboy!
Eh, don't mention it. (Sprinkles attacks Fanboy again) Augh, watch the face!
S1Little Glop of Horrors
Hey Kyle, it's Pizza Day! Come play "pizza monkeys" with us!
[with disdain] You two are "pizza monkeys"? What do you do? Throw your...pooperoni?
FCFanboy/Chum Chum
[hysterical laughter] Pooperoni!
[sigh] I'm witty day after day, and this is what they laugh at?
[the boys are at their table, staring glumly at the glop in front of them]
How does she expect us to eat this? It's burning my eyes just to look at it!
You public school students are so soft. Why, at Milkweed Academy, I was once forced to consume a beaver stomach tartare in a swamp bilge ragout. This'll be like a spoonful of Turkish delight. [takes a spoonful, releasing a cloud of fart] Oh, my, I'm going to be unwell. [topples over]
I hear it coming up, but I don't see it going down! START SLURPING!!!! IT'LL MAKE YOU BIG AND STRONG!!!!! [lifts Fanboy and Chum Chum's table and then drops it to the ground]
[the students arrive with their empty trays]
Well, we're all done. Really enjoyed all of it: the scooping it up, the chewing, the swallowing. Mm-mmm!
Why's your milk carton vibrating?!
[Nervously] um... ...it's a milkshake?
OPEN IT!!!
Uuuuuhhhh.... [all the glop explodes from the carton]
Maybe we shouldn't have stuffed it all in one cartons.
Well, the rest of you can sit here and gawk at your goop. But I have on my possession, a very large compendium of spell and charms. [Kyle's necronomicon comes to life] Necronomicon, I need your help to make something disappear.
NNecronomicon
Ooh!
Thanks ever so for the nummy-nummies. Now, I'm off to do some light reading whilst thy digest.[Mrs. Cram swipes Kyle's necronomicon]
Gimme that! Doesn't feel light to me! [shakes Kyle's necronomicon]
NNecronomicon
No! No! Don't shake me! No, no!
[nervously] Careful, that's a very delicate volume.
NNecronomicon
Oh dear! I think I'm going to... [Mrs. Cram faces the necronomicon to Kyle which pukes on him, Kyle then walks back to the table, head covered in glop, angry, and holding his necromicon] oh... It feels that I have gone through my entire table of contents.
[jumps out of a pot] Knitting a sweater for the grandkid?
It's for my cat! She's 55 lbs. of love! So, D'you finished your glop? It'll make you BIG AND STRONG!!!!
That's what I wanted to talk about, Mrs. Cram. May I call you Cramella? [Mrs. Cram has a blank face] Crama-lama-ding-dong? Okay, not budging on the name. I'll cut to the cheese. We'd like to go. You'd Like us to stay here 'till our bones crumble to dust. I think there's a little ground, So, I Am Gonna write a number for how many minutes I think we should stay. Does it sound like something you'd be interested in? [hands Mrs. Cram the paper]
This isn't a number, it's a W.
You drive a hard bargain! OK, tell ya what, I'll cut my offer in half [tears the piece of paper in half] from a W to just a U.
That's a V.
[sighs] Look, if you're not even gonna negotiate!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Fanboy & Chum Chum pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.