Oh, uh, hi, I'm Boyfan! [nervously giggles, does face palm] I mean I'm Fanboy. Did I just say I'm Boyfan? I'm Fanboy! Who would be named Boyfan? I mean, can you imagine such a thing? Why am I laughing so much? I love life! What can I say? Fanboy... [Muk Muk sniffs the hand he stretches out to her, she sneezes on it] I'll never wash this hand again...
I'll never know unless I try.. I'll do it! [while shaking Poopatine's hand] Thanks Janitor Poopatine! [rushes back into the cafeteria] You're the best!
Don't tell me! That sunken skull - I would know it anywhere! You are Flathead! The human battering ram, who knocked down the great door of castle ragnor!
[points to Chum Chum] And you! Stand stalwart and strong, though clearly your legs were pulled off by a fearsome 8-armed kracken. You are Half-legs! Long have the bards; sung your praises.
[gasps] Ooh... And I just ate a gummy fish from there. [Thorvald gets up from his chair, runs over to Fanboy, whispers to him, then runs back to his chair] Thorvaldia!
THORVALD THE RED IS NOT WRONG! It is your map that is wrong! Why, it's not even the right shape! [squashes the globe flat with his hammer] That is the shape of the world!
I'm not your serv- [Thorvald chops off the top of Lenny's hat with his battle axe, as the top of the hat slips and falls off; gets out a plate of mutton] You want cheese on that mutton? [smiles nervously]
[looks around] He's right! Where are the golden horns of Limpska?! And the shields of Flubenklaven?! THIS ISN'T VALHALLA, MEN! WE'VE BEEN TRICKED! [starts going on a rampage in the Frosty Mart]
Oh, Brenda, stop being so dramatic. They're not replacing you. I'm just teaching them a lesson. Whoa! [falls into the floor which is covered in peanut butter] What are you doing?
I don't think I like its tone. [the Poopatine Hologram from earlier appears]
PHPoopatine Hologram
Not me, you nitwits. Him! [points][Fanboy and Chum Chum see that the hologram was pointing at the real Poopatine, who is on Brenda and is shaking his fist angrily at them]
Just put it on the trident. [Receives the note] An excuse note, huh? Better be a pretty good one. [reads the note] "Please excuse the boys for being late." [cut to the hesitated boys, he continues offscreen] "They were knitting tea cozies for elderly ninjas." [back on him] Ninjas, huh? I thought I'd heard everything! But that...
...Is the sweetest gesture I've ever heard! Now, those lucky ninjas can enjoy warm tea after a night of blowing poison darts into their enemies' necks. [The boys confused as he says this.] Tardiness excused! [blows nose]
Ohh. "Saving kittens...from an oil spill"?! [cries] You're excused from last night's homework. [Kyle gives him another note] "And the kittens had puppies -- in an avalanche"?! [bawling] You -- you don't have to do homework for the rest of the week!
A note, huh? "Please...excuse...Fan...kyle...chum...from Mr. Mufflin's class...forever. Flea Bee Pea ninnie Knee Mercue leh." Well, this seems to be in order. [Fanboy, Chum Chum and Kyle giggle] Fan-Kyle-Chum!
FFankylechum
Present! [Fanboy, Chum Chum and Kyle loom on, horrified. He walks up to Mr. Mufflin]
Can you eat sweet potatoes? Can you play Chimp Chomp? Can you read comic books? Can you break dance? Can you talk to fish? Can you eat cheese through your ear? Can you chew gum whist walk?! Are there rocket cars? Are they red? Are there blueberries? Are they red? [unintelligible] Muh muh muh ma? Muh muh muh ma? [spits, still unintelligible] Muh muh muh ma? Muh muh muh ma?! Can you wear clown shoes? Can you drink pudding through a straw? Can you ride a dog like a horse? Are the banks open? [screaming over noise] Can you dance with mummies? [whispering] Can you get a good bagel? Does it rain hot gravy? [SLAM] Will a Sasquatch give back rubs? [SLAM] Does it rain hot gravy? Are there unlimited chicken drummettes? Do monkeys shine your shoes? Is Duke there?
Can you eat electricity? Can you pet a live tiger? [slightly less crazed] Can you hand me some toilet paper? Can you wear white after labor day? Do the shrimp peel and eat themselves? Of course they do! What am I thinking? It’s Night-Morning! Anything Can Happen!
[surprised spit] ME?!? DO NIGHT MORNING?!?!? I'm going to Night Morning! I don't think I can sleep! I need a lullaby. [Lullabysongy] ♪ Night Morning, Night Morning, Niiiiight Morrrning... ♪ ♪ Night Morning...Night Morning...Niiiight...Morrr... ♪
[As Fanboy floats into bed, Chum Chum turns off the light and sleeps for a few moments when...]
CCChum Chum's alarm
Night morning! Night morning! Night morning! Night morning!
