Mr. Mufflin quotes from Fanboy & Chum Chum

Hello, Fanboy. Remember me? It's Marsha.

Fanboy

Who? Come again?

[spitting, Fanboy and Chum Chum pull out an umbrella to try and guard themselves from Marsha's spit] Marsssssssha.

Fanboy

Oh, sure. You're that-we used to-didn't we-you know, over by the um-yeah, I got nothing.

[shows photo] Maybe this will refresh your memory. [points at Fanboy on the photo] This is you, and [points at herself on the photo] that was me!

Fanboy

But that was Marsha. She was all nice and sweet. And you...ooh.

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU RUINED ME!

One minute left. No pressure, kids, but your entire future depends on how you do on this test. Not that my prized pupil Marsha has anything to worry about!

Fanboy

Hey, Chum Chum. [points at pencils stuck up his nose] Check me out!

Time's up. Pass your tests forward.

Fanboy

[Sneezes on Marsha's test] Best of luck, Marsha.

YOU RUINED MY TEST! I scored so low, they sent me back to kindergarten!

Fanboy

Oh, that Marsha.

I used to read two levels above my grade, now I spend my days writing "Pat sat on a mat" with a pencil that’s fat! [breaks a pencil that matches what she said] It's all so...

[off camera] Does anyone have to go potty?

I have to make a tinky-wink! [To Fanboy, with her eyeballs protruding toward him] Humiliating.

Fanboy

I’m sorry, Marsha. I had no idea! Maybe you could take the test...again?

I'm stuck in here!

Fanboy

Uhh, well maybe I could take it for you. I think I still got a few answers up here.

Oh-ho-ho, It’s too late for tests! Now is the time for revenge! [points at the clock] See the little hand’s on the eight, and the big hand’s on...your throat!

[off camera] Snack Time, everyone!

Ooh! Orange slices! [Rips off her pigtails. At Fanboy] You got lucky this time, Fanboy, but come naptime, you're gonna take...a PERMANENT nap!

But it's really nice to see you, Chum Chum.

Chum Chum

Wow, Marsha looks great, huh?

Fanboy

[nervously] Uh, yeah.

BE QUIET!!! It's Quiet Time! Can't you read?! [Points to a note on the blackboard reading "QUIET TIME"]

Fanboy

Reading? I don't think we've covered that.

Chum Chum

Yeah, what grade do you think we're in?

[Picks up F&C] We'll call this strike 1! Now, take your seats, [Puts F&C at their desks] And I don't want to hear a peep! I need absolute quiet while I work on my model Swiss Village. Ooh! Winter's coming early! [sprinkles some fake snow onto the model and yodels]

Oh, my beautiful town of Mufflinflusen! [To F&C] I am so angry, I can see straight! THAT'S STRIKE 2! Time for your punishment!

Chum Chum

Punishment? But don't we get 3 strikes?

Kyle

[Floating upside down from the ceiling] Ooh, Ooh, back sass! Isn't that strike 3? [disappears]

The butt-kisser's right.

Kyle

[reappears] Thank you. [disappears again]

You leave me no choice but... to SEPARATE YOUR DESKS!!!!

Kyle

Oopsie, heh. Auf Wiedersehen!

Ooh-ah. Oh, sweet Mufflinflusen! [crying then, enraged] You two! [picks up F&C] You destroyed MUFFLINFLUSEN! That's it, I am separating you two... PERMANENTLY!

WHAT?!?

I'm gonna see to it you're in separate classrooms. MAYBE EVEN SEPARATE SCHOOLS! [Puts F&C at their desks, then kicks Chum Chum's to the wall]

Chum Chum

NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Fanboy

No Mr. Mufflin, please! Chinese destiny, KIDNEY, SPACE TIME CONTINUUM!!!

Yeah, yeah, fate of the universe. I've heard it all be- FOR THE LOVE OF LEDERHOSEN!

Purple kid, talking raccoon, you tricked me. This isn't the future at all! And I think I threw out all my clothes, because I thought they'd gone out of style.

Fanboy

Well, technically they have gone out.

I'm confiscating that microphone of lies! Give it to me now