Homer quotes from Family Guy ... TV Quotes Database

West

We don't want you in our town, Simpson! We don't love you as we did in 1993!

[cut to Homer Simpson from The Simpsons]

Homer

D'oh!

West

And as for you, O.J., we don't want you here either!

S7 The Juice Is Loose

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Homer

Alright Peter. If we're gonna find your car, we've got to think like a car. So let's fill up at that gas station.

[Cut to the two getting wasted after trying to "fill up" by drinking gasoline.]

Peter

I feel sick...

Homer

Keep drinking! I prepaid 40 bucks!

Peter

H-Homer Maybe we're doing this wrong.

[They see a woman using a gas pump to fuel a car. They realize.]

Peter

Oh crap.

[They begin to take off their pants. Cut to a Germany adult store named Video Erötich.]

Lois

Haben Sie Homer und Peter mit Chevron pump? (Have you got Homer and Peter with the Chevron pump?)

[Clerk points to a shelf of porn videos which is revealed to be "Gassensexen" Starring Homer and Peter.]

S13 The Simpsons Guy

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[after Homer drinks some Pawtucket Patriot Ale]

Peter

That's pretty good, right?

Homer

No.

Peter

Huh?

Homer

It's not good. This beer tastes exactly like Duff. It's just a lousy ripoff!

Peter

Hey, whoa whoa whoa! It's not a ripoff of Duff! It may have been inspired by Duff, but I...I like to think it goes in a different direction.

Homer

No, this is just the same as Duff, but, like, worse!

Peter

Hey, come on, now, this is my favorite beer you're talking about! Hell, I work for the company. It's my livelihood!

MMoe

[takes the beer] Oh, yeah? Well, your livelihood is based on fraud. Look at this. [Rips off the Pawtucket Patriot Ale label, revealing the Duff Beer label underneath] Huh?!

Homer

[gasps] IT IS DUFF! Your beer is in big trouble! You can't just slap a new label on something and call it your own!

Peter

Well, maybe Duff should be in trouble for, you know, not being that great.

Homer

[gasps] Duff is an ICON!

Peter

Yeah, but some folks prefer Pawtucket Pat. I mean, don't get me wrong. I used to love Duff when I was younger, but, I haven't even had it in 13 years.

[Blue-Haired Lawyer appears]

BHBlue-Haired Lawyer

Be that as it may, I represent the Duff Brewery. And you sir, as a representative of Pawtucket Patriot Ale, are being sued for intellectual theft and patent infringement.

Homer

Ah-ha! Intellectual infringement. What do you have to say about that, Griffin?!

Peter

D'oh!

S13 The Simpsons Guy

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BBBob Belcher

Homer, you've got company.

Homer

D’oh.

BBBob Belcher

Yes, I won’t.