Tom Tucker quotes from Family Guy

Good evening, Quahog. Grim details continue to roll in at this hour in the story of the detached airplane advertising banner, which caused a school bus to plummet into the Pawtuxet River.

Tom Tucker

That's right, Joyce, Quahog's own Goldman's Pharmacy made headlines across the country after a banner of their's caused the bus to drive off a bridge, tragically killing all the teenagers onboard. Many of the students tweeted about the accident as it was happening; we have a few here. From @jenny94: "Water seriously cold, yo!" Here's @theted69: "I'm gonna survive this, lol, jk." JK indeed.

Tom

I'd like to add another bit of pointless confusion that will make sense later. Let's everyone drive someone else's car.

Someone can take my coop.

I'm riding with Gatsby, I don't care which car.

I'll take someone in Daisy's car.

Tom

I don't think Daisy said you could drive her car.

Tom, why don't you take Jay's car?

Tom

Who's Jay?

Gatsby.

Tom

Okay, I have never heard anyone call him that.

Look, if you're in your car, you're in the wrong car.

Tom Tucker

Okay, final question. Team 3. Who is your child's favorite singer?

Peter

[puts his board up to show the crowd] The Price is Right Yodeler.

Chris

What? No. I said Adele. [puts his board up]

Peter

Judges?

Lois

Oh, this is more humiliating than my first day working at that Rice Pilaf Company.

Lois

I think we could start putting pilaf in other things.

Lois, can I see you in my office for a second?

Peter

I told you not to rock the boat over there.