Peter Griffin quotes from Family Guy

Peter

Come on, Joe. You can't be afraid, What if Bono had been afraid to wear sunglasses? Then nobody would know about Africa.

Peter

[to Quagmire and Cleveland] Guys, keep swallowing water. We'll drink our way out of this!

Peter

I'm very easily influenced by music.

Peter

Oh, yeah. It's great, you know, doing the show with your family, cuz what guy doesn't want to go to his office and have his family there? You know, and then you go home after work and catch up with the family, [progressively gets more depressed as he keeps talking] and then next day same thing. Just trying to make it through the weekend, so you can uh ... spend some time with the family ... Isn't that the dream?

Peter

Chris, meet Orville Redenbacher and his son. Watch.

Peter

Huh, samurai or geishas ... Which one am I? I'll just wait 'til somebody else goes in. [two Asian people with unidentifiable genders go into both bathrooms] Well, that wasn't helpful.

Peter

They also make wipes!

Peter

Hi there, it's me, Peter. You know, when it comes to making dreams come alive, there used to be nothing like the movies. So we thought it would be fun to ask a few visionary Hollywood directors to create his...let's be honest, HIS, own unique version of the same Family Guy story, "Peter Gets Fired". Of the countless directors we contacted, three did not say "no" immediately.

Peter

[in old age, to Scott] Scott...I'm finally ready to hear the specials.

Peter

A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter. A loaf of milk, a container of bread, and a Joe Dirt DVD. A Joe Dirt DVD, Scarlett Johansson, and treasure from a fish tank.

Peter

For 60 years, Sunday has meant God, football, and Family Guy, and later, to a lesser degree, The Simpsons.

Peter

Wow, The White House is great. There's no wonder you spend two days a week here.

Peter

Nothing like drive-time radio to remind me that I don't make enough to afford satellite radio.

Peter

Since Willem Dafoe has more bones in his face than most people have in their entire body, he's perfect for carving cuz the angles are so sharp.

Peter

Ah, the beach. So much to do. Unlimited possibilities. [notices a "No Alcohol" sign] There is nothing to do at the beach! Why did we come here?!