MarieWhen we first got married, I said "I love you" all the time.
When? When did you say it?
MarieI said it all the time!
S1 E2 I Love You
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Played by Doris Roberts
Everybody Loves Raymond · 126 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Everybody Loves Raymond: in 27 of its 126 quotes
Most scenes with: Frank Barone (16), Debra Barone (11), Ray Barone (10)
Scenes with Marie Barone 27
MarieMarie
Were you in my office, mom?
MarieYeah I was trying to get a pen to do the crossword puzzles. You know, your desk drawer is locked.
DRDebra and Ray
Yeah, we lock it now. It keeps the kids out.
MarieOh, that's a good idea! I broke a knife in it.
S1 E2 I Love You
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AAlda
What's your problem Marie? I can't even say a word without you topping me.
MarieI can't help it, you're easily topped!
MarieYou never even sent a gift.
AAlda
My gift was that I came at all.
MarieWhat kind of a horse's ass gift is that?
AAlda
You'd be lucky to have a horse's ass!
[Marie thinks Ray might have an affair with Angelina, the attractive waitress]
Marie, I'm not worried. I trust Ray.
MarieOh, I'm not worried about Raymond either, dear. I'm worried about that pizza parlor putana!
S1 E5 Look Don't Touch
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[Marie barges into the house.]
MarieYour father has finally done it.
What's that, learned to buckle his pants?
MarieYou're giving him back that money!
Like hell, I am! I want to teach him a lesson. You up the stakes, you lose a lot. Play with fire, you're going to get burned.
[Waves check in front of Raymond]
AND ALWAYS, THANK YOU, COME AGAIN!
You're not talking to me?
MarieNope.
[smiling] I just keep winning.
MarieThis is for you.
Ahh. But I thought Frank said...
MarieNo, he doesn't know anything about that. This is my money.
You have money?
MarieOh... My father, oh, such a wise man. On my wedding day, he took me aside, gave me $200, and said, "Here". This is if you come to your senses and leave Frank.
Wow. My dad only gave me fifty.
MarieWhere do you want me to put this turkey?
I'll tell you where you can put it...
S1 E10 Turkey or Fish
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MarieWhy do you insist on making this car wreck our Christmas tree every year? I want a real tree.
An artificial tree saves water, saves the forest, and saves the planet. I'm a conservationist.
MarieYou're cheap.
Alright, I'm saving money.
S1 E12 The Ball
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MarieWhat's the matter?
Nothing, nothing's the matter.
Oh nothing at all, except Ray was just about to tell Ally the truth about Santa Claus.
MarieYou what?!?!
NO, I didn't tell her.
MarieMy own son, an atheist?!?!
S1 E12 The Ball
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MarieOooh, all of a sudden you have scruples.
I have scruples Marie. I've got scruples the size of basketballs.
S1 E17 The Game
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(Frank is showing off the birdhouse he built when he sees the video playing on the TV. He doesn't realize it's a video one of the neighbors shot of him on the porch naked)
(chuckling salaciously) Hey, whoops...Porno party!
RRaymond
(grabbing the birdhouse and trying to distract Frank) Show me where this goes, put it up in the tree--
(amused) Who's the fat-ass? (Marie knows)
Marie(mortified) Frank!
(equally mortified) Holy crap...
S1 E20 Neighbors
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Why do you think that is? Why do you think that is, Marie?!
MarieI'm sleeping here tonight!
Good!
S2 E2 Father Knows Least
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