Ray, I've got some news. I don't know the best way to break this... Your great-uncle Gus, dead!
Oh, no I liked him.
Yeah me too... Hey nuts!(referring to a bowl of nuts on the table)
“I Wish I Were Gus” · Season 1, Episode 3
In this episode: Ray Barone (5), Frank Barone (3), Robert Barone (3), Debra Barone (2), Marie Barone (2)
He wants you to deliver his eulogy
Why? I hardly knew the guy.
It was his dying wish.
Even dead people love Raymond.
AAlda
What's your problem Marie? I can't even say a word without you topping me.
I can't help it, you're easily topped!
You never even sent a gift.
AAlda
My gift was that I came at all.
What kind of a horse's ass gift is that?
AAlda
You'd be lucky to have a horse's ass!
[Ally drew a mustache on Jeffrey]
Can Hitler have a juice-box?
Hey, do you know what I think is really sexy?
What?
A man who does the dishes.
No, does nothing for me... Do you know what does it for me? A woman who does the dishes... with another woman!
Some funeral, huh?
Yeah.
Wanna do it?
Hi, I'm Ray. I'm here to talk about... Gus Barone.
Haaaaarrrr!!!
Thank you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Everybody Loves Raymond pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.