Narrator quotes from Everybody Hates Chris

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Tonya was such a big fan of Lisa Lisa, for a while we had to call her Tonya Tonya.

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Hi, this is Chris Rock. I'd like to take this moment to say this television network does not condone the use of marijuana or any illegal substance, even if it's funny, so please don't sue me. Now, back to the show!

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The janitor was like the Don "Magic" Juan of Camaros.

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[after Chris accidentally runs over Greg with the car] White man down! White man down!

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Not only was it rainin' at the beach, back at home, it was rainin' on my parade.

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While I was dodgin' another bullet, raindrops kept fallin' on my dad's head.

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My father's spring break was bein' rained out, and my mother enjoyed bein' stretched out.

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After all was said and done, Greg had something to say about what we did.

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In all the years of school, there was nothing I loved better than summer vacation, and the next best thing was spring break.

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While I was makin' it clear that I didn't hit Greg, my family was gettin' ready to hit the road.

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When I was 16, I crossed a major milestone for teenagers: I finally got my driver's license.

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With my father on his way to Doc's, I was a dead man workin'.

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I had put my foot down, but unfortunately, it was into my own grave.

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While my mother was teachin' me lessons about life, Mr. Omar was teachin' a lesson about death.

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How come when a woman says, "Fine," it's never actually fine?