Narrator quotes from Everybody Hates Chris

Narrator

I was hopin' to get a varsity letter, but I was afraid I would get three of them: D.O.A.

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The only one who was eatin' instead of drinkin' was my father.

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What difference could a pound make? None, unless I could fight somebody. [Chris gets beat down] Not even Don King could fix that match.

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Back at school, I was more depressed than the Fat Boys at a finger sandwich party.

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Drew couldn't see through his hand, but he could see through Ryan's BS.

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I didn't know what's more surprisin': my mother givin' my father the cold shoulder or my father givin' me cold cash.

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At Hansel and Gretel, my mother laid down the law like the Big Bad Wolf.

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The teams were all white, but unfortunately for them, the questions were all black.

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My father had two full-time jobs (three if you count my mother).

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Drew's window attracted more perverts than Times Square.

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By dinnertime, I wasn't hungry 'cause I was full of myself.

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Before Cops was a show on TV, I saw cops chasing criminals every day in Bed-Stuy.

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Even though I hid the weed, I couldn't hide the smell.

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While my mom was gettin' the lowdown with Vanessa, I was tryin' not to get the whole class high.

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Back at school, I had Jamaican Gold in my shoe and Italian Greg in my case.