Really impressive how you guys can leap from misogyny to homophobia in a single bound!
Hey, you're the one who was just calling Albright a bitch.
Oh, right- after you did! Anyway, that's not the point- the point is, why is everybody so bigoted around here?!
No more overnights for Abby.
Yeah, Kovac, your woman's starting to sound a little kooky.
Oh, Morris, I swear to God, if you ever- ever - refer to me as someone's 'woman' again, I will slap you silly with this hole-punch! [she shoves said hole-punch in his face, startling him]
Don't you mean bitch-slap?
CT scan seems a little bit confused.
February 9th, and I want my can opener back!
Uh, 'cause my fridge at home was empty and I was hungry
[looking at the ice cream sandwich she is eating] Didn't I see you eating one of those 20 minutes ago?
Third? What are you, pregnant?
[pause]
What? What are you talking about?
You are totally pregnant!
So what, you're in love with Albright.
The baby's sex is right there on that amnio report.
Did you know that the X chromosome contains three times as much genetic information as the Y? Do you think that's why men are simpler?
The Janjaweed have turned this place into the wild wild west.
Dr. Clemente is an excellent physician with some personal issues. That's certainly nothing new around here.
She was like this in the Congo?
At least in the Congo we had television... beer... I'm not saying anything about anyone's religion, but this place would drive anybody to drink.
[noticing a gift basket full of baby items] Hey, what's this?
Oh, that's for you and the little bastard.
Thank you. It was supposed to be a secret. [looks pointedly at Morris]
Wha- everybody was saying you were getting puffy! I was trying to defend you!
You're not getting puffy.
...And in Curtain One, a severe case of over-golding.
Got anything for me, Chief?
Oh, yes. For you: Anal warts-
And raw oyster anphylaxis.
Ugh, how can anyone eat those things?
They're supposed to be an aphrodisiac.
All right, Who left a kielbasa in the drug fridge? This is a clear JCAHO violation. Who didn't know that?
I'm guessing Frank, his name's on it.
Well, someone tell him to keep his sausage to himself.
[to Neela about her cookies] Yeah, uhm... After careful consideration from your ER peers, plus Hector in janitorial services...
Just the feeling is, your cookies are...
The worst cookies ever made in the history of baking.
[laughing] Shut up. [long, silent pause, then angrily, while leaving] Bollocks to you all!
[calling after her] The truth hurts!
[to an anemic patient] Did you hit your head when you passed out?
RE Richard Elliott
I don't think so, but then I was unconscious at the time.
ES Elliott's driver
He was slumped over in the back seat, but he was wearing his seatbelt.
RE Richard Elliott
What, are you givin' away free toasters here or somethin'?
You know, I once ate a hash brownie before giving a big talk in Amsterdam. I mistakenly thought that it would take an hour to kick in...suddenly I was up on stage, completely out of my head, lecturing to a room full of biochemists in a faux French accent.
Abby, you get fever rash. I will take dog bite to the ear lobe. Wait, no...you take dog bite and I'll take the rash. It could be Rubella. We wouldn't want our baby getting a TORCH infection.
TORCH infection. You know, herpes.
I know what a TORCH infection is.
Then you know it wouldn't be good for our baby.
Why do you keep calling it "our" baby?
I don't mean our baby like you and me. I mean like our baby, like an ER mascot.
This baby isn't anybody's mascot. [she walks away]
Oh, come on! Don't go away mad!
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