E.R. quotes

Abby

What if I can't love it right?

Luka

Abby...

Abby

Maybe I'm not strong enough.

Luka

Being a parent makes you stronger.

Abby

And, it breaks your heart. You told me that.

Luka

That's not what I meant. [referring to the children he lost]

Abby

I'm sorry. I didn't mean-

Luka

No, don't use that as a reason. A[bby looks at him for a moment]

Abby

...I'm sorry. [strokes his arm] What if I go shopping, and leave it at the supermarket?

Luka

[chuckles] Don't worry, I'll do all the shopping.

Abby

I'm afraid I'd mess it up, Luka.

Luka

[squeezes her hand] We won't.

He's hemodynamically stable, with no parataneal signs!

So why'd you call me down here?!

Look, Missy, it's protocol, all right? [Albright turns and approaches him menacingly]

You- didn't- really just call me 'Missy', did you?

[suddenly nervous] Okay, look- the case meets trauma criteria!

Next time, call me when you know what you've got on your hands!

...You should pay more attention to your interns, Red.

Neela

I'm an R2, actually.

Ok, R2. Call me about that surgical elective- we might be able to work something out. [leaves, Morris exhales sharply]

Neela

[about a pregnant Catholic girl whose parents refuse to let her have an abortion] You're the wrong person to talk to about this.

Luka

Excuse me?

Neela

I would like your permission to consult another Attending. [Luka looks at her in confusion] Someone who's not Catholic. [Luka pauses, then steps towards her]

Luka

[quietly angry] Listen to me very seriously. I'm a doctor first, above and beyond anything else- and I don't let my personal beliefs get in the way of a patient's best interests! Ever.

Luka

I don't want everything we have to come down to this one decision. [pauses)] We can get past it. You did what you had to do. It doesn't mean we can't be together.

Abby

I didn't do it. I couldn't. I want to keep it. I want us to have this baby.

Luka

You want to go shopping?

Abby

I want to go looking.

Luka

Baby monitors.

Abby

Monitors, cribs, car seats. Maybe a little mobile of famous Croatian diplomats.

Abby

It's a joke.

Luka

[discussing what they'll need to get ready for the baby. Abby realizes that they'll need two of everything, one for her place and one for his] So, if we have twins, we need to have four of everything?

Abby

I'm not having twins.

Luka

Ahh, identical twins run in my family.

Abby

Are you kidding me?

Luka

What? I mean, chances are really small.

Abby

If your mutant Croatian seed causes me to have twins, I ...

Luka

Listen, look at it from the sunny side. If we have a custody fight, each one of us is going to take a kid.

Luka

Identical twins.

Abby

[still laughing] Got it. Let's go.

Pratt

Wait. What are you doing man? [Morris unbuttons his shirt] You got extra nipples?

Yes! Red hair, porcelain skin and four nipples. You know what gym class was like for me growing up? Hey, nipple boy, here here little piggy, look it's the ugly suckling! I heard them all

Hey! We don't knock?

Ray

On a curtain? What are you guys doing with my patient anyway?

Pratt

Nothing. Morris was just showing me his extra pair of nipples.

Oh my God! I can't believe you just violated my doctor patient privilege!

Pratt

I'm not your doctor, Morris and you sure as hell ain't my patient.

Ray

Wow, look at those! That is freaky! You should get them all pierced, wear 'em like chain mail.

Abby

Crap! [she ducks behind a clothes rack]

Luka

What? [Abby pulls him behind the rack]

Abby

It's Debbie Dawkins, from the pharmacy.

Luka

Who? [He tries to peer out, and Abby smacks him in the arm]

Abby

Don't look! If she spots the two of us in a baby store together holding bags of stuff, she's gonna tell everybody!

Luka

I don't even know who she is-

Abby

She knows who you are!

Luka

I don't think so!

Abby

Oh, Luka- every woman who works in the hospital knows who you are, trust me.

I don't want to be a soul trapped in a corpse.

Luka

People with degenerative diseases do best when they have...

Hope? Do you read the papers? Bush just banned funding for embryonic stem cell research. I'm trying to hold on to hope, Doctor, but nobody's cooperating these days.

Jerry

[about Pratt's suit] Dr. Pratt! Who's the lucky lady?

Pratt

Oh, no, no- it's nothing like that, just a little charity event I gotta attend to.

[adjusting Pratt's tie] Oh, don't you be coy, Pratt! Chicago's 50 hottest bachelors are being auctioned off to benefit the Chicago Health Coalition! [Pratt chuckles]

Jerry

Impressive!

[peeved] I, the 51st hottest bachelor, didn't make the cut.

Abby

How's Olivia feel about this?

Pratt

Feel about what?

Abby

the fact that someone's buying a date with her boyfriend?

Pratt

Aw, I wouldn't put it that way! It's a good cause- she's cool.

Haleh

[sarcastically] Really? Your African-American girlfriend is cool with her African-American boyfriend bein' put up on the block for a bunch of rich white women to bid on?

Pratt

[grins] Take it easy, Angela Davis. How do you know they're all white? See ya!

Abby

Really impressive how you guys can leap from misogyny to homophobia in a single bound!

Frank

Hey, you're the one who was just calling Albright a bitch.

Abby

Oh, right- after you did! Anyway, that's not the point- the point is, why is everybody so bigoted around here?!

Ray

No more overnights for Abby.

Yeah, Kovac, your woman's starting to sound a little kooky.

Abby

Oh, Morris, I swear to God, if you ever- ever- refer to me as someone's 'woman' again, I will slap you silly with this hole-punch! [she shoves said hole-punch in his face, startling him]

Ray

Don't you mean bitch-slap?

Luka

CT scan seems a little bit confused.

I am not confused.

Ray

What's the date today?

February 9th, and I want my can opener back!

Why are you still here?

Abby

Uh, 'cause my fridge at home was empty and I was hungry

[looking at the ice cream sandwich she is eating] Didn't I see you eating one of those 20 minutes ago?

Abby

This is my third.

Third? What are you, pregnant?

Abby

What? What are you talking about?

Oh my God, you are!

Abby

You're crazy.

You are, aren't you??

Abby

No...

You are totally pregnant!

Abby

So what, you're in love with Albright.

I am not!

Abby

Oh Morris, come on.

You shut up.

Abby

You shut up too.

You shut up first!

Pratt

Shut up about what?

Nothing.

Abby

Nothing.

Luka

So what do you think?

Abby

About what?

Luka

The baby's sex is right there on that amnio report.

Abby

Did you know that the X chromosome contains three times as much genetic information as the Y? Do you think that's why men are simpler?

Luka

And you didn't ask.