Entourage quotes

[sees the engagement ring he gave Sloan] She sent it in an envelope?!?!

Drama

Not even a padded one.

Turtle

Imagine if we told you that last week.

Billy Walsh

Some of it sucks.

It does hurt.

Walsh

But I can fix it.

So, fix it. Change anything you want, I'll take nothing personally because this movie's not for me. It's for Johnny.

Walsh

Amazing selflessness, I'm gonna use some of that for the yellow Lab's personality, if that's okay.

Ari

Everyone hear my words - Bobby Flay is now my sworn enemy, which means he is yours. Now if anyone eats at or even recommends any one of that Boy-Meets-Grill fuck's establishments, it'll be Agent-Meets-Fist! [walks out]

Turtle

Whoa. Gold watch?

Yes. You like?

Turtle

I love it! You know, in the US, they give someone a gold watch when they retire...[strikes a thought and sees Carlos' face] Am I retiring?

[while driving] Is Dice there too?

Drama

No Phil, we're not crazy.

Yeah well, Johnny do yourself a favor - don't let anybody cover your ears, so you can hear this - Hey dumb fuck, was this your idea?

Drama

It was Dice's idea. He's put crazy things in my head.

Yeah, well remind Dice that when we cast him two months ago, he was doing stand-up at a fucking bowling alley.

Drama

He doesn't care.

Well, you better care Johnny, because if you allow him or anyone else to fuck this up, you're bananas. Go to Dice tell him you don't get a raise because you test well. Maybe remind him about his show called Concrete Heat that I produced and you starred in in 1994 and that tested to the fucking moon. You remember that?

Drama

[attentive because he remembers the show] Yeah, I remember that.

Yeah, you remember how long it lasted?

Drama

One week.

Yeah, many people thought it was cancelled in the second half hour.

Drama

Yeah, that's because they put us up against fucking Seinfeld.

Drama, I know that doing a voiceover is not what you want - I know that you want to get that precious face of yours back in the camera. This will lead to all of that, if you're smart, so be smart and be sure that crazy fuck is too or you will bury us all.

Drama

You're not gonna separate them, right?

Why would I?

Scott Lavin

[to officer] Don't mind him. He's seen too many episodes of Law and Order.

Drama

I've been on more episodes than I've seen 'em.

Hello?

[At a UNICEF event] What the fuck are you thinking?!?!

What's the problem?

What, you wouldn't think that Bobby Flay wouldn't tell me that you were out on a date?

Well, I guess the Bro Code's out the window when you're fucking someone's wife.

I am indeed hurt and quite frankly embarrassed!

How do you think I felt?

Anyone else, Ari? I mean, even if you insist on throwing it in my face, I could deal with anyone else!

What do you mean?

I always knew you were fucking Dana Gordon!

It's not true. Not since 1992.

Even when I moved out here?

I have NEVER cheated on you...but it's nice to know you still care.

How are you gonna look at me, Ari?

So tell me, what's happening with you?

I wanna work.

That's great.

I need to work. Since Terrance and I have divorced, I can't sit still. It's so pathetic right?

Listen. I thought taking three years off was a complete waste of your time.

That's easy for you to say. Unfortunately, my manager didn't take too kindly to my hiatus and dropped me.

Really? I didn't know of that.

Why do you think I'm here? I want you to manage me.

Why me?

Sloan always spoke so highly of you. I may hate her father, but I always love and respect her.

Yeah.

Eric, I don't mean to put you on the spot, but I'm focused on committing to get my career back, so think about it. It would really mean a lot to me.

Billy

Calm down, Drama. Calm down.

Drama

Calm down?!? This guy not only sucks, he thinks he's Sandy Meisner.

Billy

Let's just get it done.

Drama

Get WHAT done? This show is over if we don't do something about it.

Billy

What do you like to do?

Drama

Get Dice back!

Billy

Not gonna happen. The network won't pay him.

Drama

[points to Jamie] You like this guy?

Billy

Course not.

Drama

Then we need to make it happen!!

Billy

If there was something I could do, don't you think I would have done it? I would give anything to get Dice back.

Drama

Anything? Give him a piece of your salary.

Billy

Fuck that! Give him your salary.

I opened up to you, and you mocked me.

I don't see it that way.

I have good relationships with women.

I write what I see.

I don't know how, after everything else I shared with you, you could see that.

I don't know why you're focusing on a tiny part of a six-page article.

Because it's not true. I have tons of respect for women, and not just those I want to sleep with.

And you show it by stalking me to a restaurant?

I wouldn't call it stalking.

What would you call it?

I want to talk.

What do you think that would accomplish?

Correct your opinion of me.

Why?

Why?

Yes, the article is done, and I couldn't change it now if I wanted to, I'm sure even you are smart enough to know that.

Yo, GRILL-MASTER! [marches inside house with Mrs Ari trying to stop him] Are you in my fucking house? I got a new show for you, it's called Boy Meets Husband Who Kills Him!

[appears from kitchen] I'm not hiding, Ari.

Well, you should!

[holds him back] Please, Bobby!

Melissa, it's okay.

[distraught about what he just saw] I don't fucking believe it.

What, what don't you believe? What, more lies about how all you care about is how happy I am? You're so full of shit.

I have never hidden who I am, obviously you have. I have no idea who you are. From hereon out, we're gonna let the lawyers handle everything. [steps back] Look honey, I've changed. I'm leaving my house, with you and your barbecueing boytoy in it. No fight, no cops called, no tears, no beating his fucking face in. [leaves]

Lloyd

Are you okay, Ari?

Ari

This character... [stands up] He loses his wife and his family, travels halfway around the world to save these guys so they can be with their loving families. You know what the saddest part is?

Lloyd

No?

Ari

I don't even have my dog. This job, Vince...it's all I've got. Is your department ready?

Lloyd

That's why I'm here. They're waiting.

Ari

Let's do this. [Ari meets agents at conference room and throws script on table] I don't know most of you. Why would I? I don't deal with TV, I especially don't deal with made-for-TV movies. This is different. Vince Chase wants this for his brother Johnny. Now we all know that Johnny Chase may have limited talent, but like a child with special needs, a real family member will stand by his side. A real family member will buy that child's way into Harvard, if that's what it takes. Vince Chase is standing by his brother, and I'm standing by both of them. Now I want every available option on how to get this movie made on the table by the end of the day. Whoever succeeds will forever be my family member. Whoever doesn't will be cleaning tanning beds in fucking Rancho Cucamonga-

[cuts in] I'm sorry Ari, Dana Gordon's on the phone for you.

Ari

[to agents] Looks like I just did your job for you. You're all fired.

It did?

Turtle

If not for my selfish desire to prove that I don't need you, if we didn't sell our stock I would have made four million dollars and what's worse? You would have made almost 15. [sits down]

Wow.

Drama

Jesus.

Wow, that's unbelievable.

Turtle

I'm sorry Vin. I'm so stupid.

[comforts him] You're not stupid. You're smart for getting me into this tequila thing, and I'm smart for not fucking listening to you.

Turtle

[startled] What?

I never sold!

Turtle

What do you mean?

I knew this thing was going to be big because you told me it was gonna be, and because I called Mark Cuban, who guaranteed it, so I kept my shares and I even bought yours.

Turtle

Don't fuck with me right now, Vince. Please?

Cuban told me I'd regret it forever if I didn't, so I bought 'em for you. I mean, you gotta give me back the initial, but it seems like a good trade. Three hundred for almost four million?

Drama

Turtle's a millionaire?

Yeah, now that he doesn't need me, maybe he'd let me invest in his restaurant.

Turtle

I, I don't know what to say.

Drama

Say thank you, you dumb fuck!

Drama

No, Sloan, I swear on my life that Vince is going to Paris to get married, and it's really important to him and to us [looks at Turtle] that you and [touches Sloan's tummy] your little baby are present.

Sloan

I appreciate it.

Turtle

So you'll come?

Sloan

I have to ask you something and I need you to be honest.

Drama

Yeah, I swear on my life.

Sloan

Swear on your career?

Drama

Okay.

Sloan

Did E fuck Melinda?

Drama

No, no, I swear on my career, E did not fuck Melinda. [Turtle gestures No]

Sloan

What time does the plane leave?

Turtle

Eight pm.

Sloan

I'll think about it.

I want you back here, Ari.

Ari Gold

Not gonna happen, John.

You passed on running my studio once, which I thought was asinine. Are you really silly enough to pass on an offer from me twice?

Ari

Your studio head is doing a great job. You don't need me.

I don't want you to replace her. I want you to replace me...as chairman and CEO. It's my time, and yours. [drinks]

Ari

John...

This is not just about movies, it's about a film division that grossed four billion. It's about a television network and three premium cable networks. You want a sports franchise? Buy one yourself, 'Cause there'll only be a handful of other people making the sort of money you'll be making. And while everyone you know may own the fanciest clothes and the best cars, you will own the companies that sell 'em. You wanna know what Heaven really is, Ari? Try being God. Ari?

Ari

[flabbergasted at the offer] John, I just got here.

You're the only guy for this and you know it. Rest. Relax. I'll try you again in one week. [hangs up]