Turtle quotes from Entourage

Turtle

Jesus Christ, Ari Gold, you just got demoted to Silver.

Eric

Could you get laid without Vince? That's the question.

Turtle

Do I give a fuck? That's the answer!

Turtle

Sure, Eric... you had to beg for pussy on prom night.

Eric

Yeah, but I begged my GIRLFRIEND, Turtle... not some $40 hooker who declined my mother's credit card.

Who do you work for?

Turtle

Vincent Chase.

He did great.

Drama

Maybe you recognize me. I'm his brother.

No.

Turtle

E, the movie's huge bro. Relax, Joanne says its destined to be a classic.

Eric

Oh, Joanne says its destined to be a classic. She's destined to be in a fucking insane asylum!

The Earth is moving. Did you feel that? Everything. All the time. Dimensions we can't even see. Everything is evolving. Turtle, you're a dove.

Turtle

That's cool. Can I hit that, Sherp? Thanks.

Eric

You afraid of getting busted?

Busted? I'm entrusted, man. I don't steal. I heal. We're not getting stoned. We're getting honed. My probation officer's one of my best customers. I'm a prisoner. I'm a prisoner of, uh, war. War on Drugs. It's all so negative, man. I mean, the Man's most positive positive-tive is a nega-tive. It's a mega-nega-tive. Right? [shouts] Viking Quest! Let them be low. We are getting high. We're not getting fucked down. We're getting fucked up.

Turtle

These aren't Taiwanese knockoffs are they?

Shauna

Would I do that to you?

Drama

No, those are real goods. Look at the sheepskin. You can tell these babies were born and raised in the Outback.

Johnny Drama

If you play gay or retarded you get an Oscar. I'd take in the ass for an Oscar.

Turtle

You'd take in the ass for a guest spot on The Hughleys.

Johnny Drama

What's the matter? You don't feel good?

I'm a little depressed. I'm getting evicted. I'm late on my rent again.

Drama

How much is rent?

$1,200.

Drama

I got your rent money right here. Let's go swimming.

Turtle

I thought you don't pay for sex.

Drama

I'm not paying for sex. I'm paying her rent, jerk-off.

Turtle

Yeah, right.

Turtle

So? Do you know how much pussy I got in this town that I didn't deserve?

Drama

All of it?

Turtle

Where do I take the test?

The what?

Turtle

The drug test. I jacked two bottles of water in the car for this, so can we just get over with this please?

This is X-Box, loser, not the Olympics. We don't get drug tests. If we do, we'd be out of business, idiot. [gang heckles Turtle]

Drama

Sucker!

Nice, Turtle.

Turtle

[laughs and holds sample] What the fuck do I do with this now!!?

Drink it.

Turtle

Come on Drama, what are you thinking, bro?

Drama

[brushes off Turtle] Don't talk to me, Turtle. I can't hear you, I can't see you, I don't even wanna know you.

Turtle

You're yelling, alright?

What's your problem, Drama?

Turtle

Me and Drama had a little incident.

What kind of incident?

Drama

Don't fucking say it, man.

No no, say it.

Turtle

[long pause] We accidentally crossed swords.

Eww, really?

Really? [laughs] Were there any women in there, at least?

Turtle

Yeah, dick, it was a threesome. It's no biggie, crossing is an occupational hazard.

Any big news stories today, E?

Eric

What do you mean?

Mandy's really smart. She was always testing me on what was going on in the world.

Turtle

I heard Pamela Anderson dropped another tit size.

[seeing Spencer walk away upon being threatened by Turtle] What the fuck is his problem?

He hates Vince. He's gonna trash him on his website, saying he's gonna make a shitty Aquaman.

Why? Vince would make an adorable Aquaman.

You should tell him that.

Turtle

Yeah sweetie, you should. If Aquaman is in trouble, and the fate of the land and all mankind is in his hands, he should unleash the power of the pussy.

Don't bullshit me, tough guy. If I do it, I'll do it because I like Vince.

Turtle

He cries in front of her, shows her he's sensitive... bang! He moves right in.

Drama

Yeah. His tears will basically act as a lubricant.