Mrs Ari quotes from Entourage

Give me the phone. [Ari turns over phone] And the Batphone. [Ari reluctantly turns over Blackberry hidden in ankle]

Where are you going, Ari?

Ari Gold

I have a meeting.

At the Playboy Mansion? [looks at pajamas sticking out of Ari's slacks]

Playboy Mansion, strip clubs, whorehouses, I go where the meetings are. It's my fucking job.

I want three weeks in the south of France with the children.

Oh my God baby, [kisses her] of course you can go.

With you. And if you're not home by 2AM, I'm gonna be standing at the gate screaming "Ari Gold, super agent, forgot his Viagra."

[contemplates threat] Sounds good.

Eric

[Waking up at 5:30 a.m. and dialing Ari] Enjoy this, motherfucker.

[hearing Ari's phone ring] Who died?

No one, yet. [answers the phone] What?

Eric

It looks like I woke you up this time, Ari.

No, but you did wake my wife and kids, dickhead. Vinnie better be sitting in prison with a DUI or something. Is he?

Eric

No...

Then what the fuck do you want, cunt muscle?

Still mad at me?

No, he's mad at Max now.

What'd he do?

He took a movie in Kazakhstan. [Ari gleefully makes victory gestures, but Mrs Ari sees him] I'm so glad our daughter's tears make you happy.

Baby, those tears mean our little girl is gonna stay our little girl for at least another day.

Awww, Ari.

Now, how about a quick blowjob before my Vince dinner? [A disgusted Mrs Ari walks inside]

Everybody stop. I didn't go to the Lakers game because they're playing the fucking Bobcats. And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate. How to answer a question without a question. Basic Humanity 101. Which, I thought, given your wall of fucking diplomas, you could easily fix. Or if you couldn't, you could give her a pill that would either fix it or make her a mute. But now, to turn around and gang up on me -- I have work to do. I have hundreds of clients to deal with and just so we're clear, I don't care about any of them. They're all just a number, like wife #1 and therapist #7. Good day.

You're really only our fifth.

[having checked out the backseat] Jesus Christ, the valet probably stole it.

Don't be racist.

Valets steal shit, alright? Just because they're mostly Hispanic, doesn't make a racist. You know what happens if this gets out? If someone puts Night's new ending on the Internet, MY LIFE IS OVER!

Nobody's gonna know you did it.

Yes they will, because Night, that little sick fuck, printed my name [pounds roof with every word] on every fucking page!

I'm sorry okay, I get jealous.

You're possessive. I don't want an apology for that!

What...for what, then?

For... for telling me that I'm old and that I wouldn't photograph in Hi-Def.

It's a legitimate concern. Look, I just didn't want you doing it alright, I like the way things are. I don't want you on television - I don't want some 19-year-old kissing the lips I'm supposed to be kissing, alright? Listen, if you want to go and be a soap whore everyday, just do it knowing that you make your husband miserable.

[sits near him] You think I want to do it, Ari? I gave up acting to have a family and I have never ever regretted it. I like the way things are. Just wanted [hits Ari] one day of stupid fun..

With Julio down at the schoolyard.

Well, if I'm so old and ugly, why do you even care?

Well some guys are into that -

[stands up and towers over him] Tell me that I'm sexy Ari.

You are the beautiful mother of my children [kisses Mrs Ari] and I respect you. [continues kissing]

Oh Julio...JULIO!!

You little fucking slut!! [beds Mrs Ari]

Is it true? Do you want to destroy these people, Ari?

Okay, yes. If I could GOUGE OUT Terrance McQuewick's eyeballs and eat them for what he did to me, I would. And I would sell that Benedict Arnold Adam Davies into white slavery if we lived in a place that had a market for it. And LLOYD, that little queen, who I welcomed into my home and allowed to play with my children and care for my dog and who left me for those two scumbags, I would tie him up and allow the entire Screen Actors Guild to anally rape him if not for the fact that I'd know he would enjoy it. I hate them all, and yes, I want to see them destroyed. But that is not why I want this company. I want - no, I need - this company, because it's good business. It's good goddamn business and if I don't buy it, someone else will and that will be very very bad for my business. And my wife, of all people, should know, that when it comes to business, my judgment is never clouded, so please [pleads to Mrs Ari] please support me like you always have, and I will deliver for us, like I always have.

So, what do you think?

I think it was a good speech.

Yeah.

Do what you need to do, Ari.

Really?[Mrs Ari nods] I love you. [Kisses Mrs Ari then to therapist] Can we fuck in here?

What do you think of the name the LA Gold?

Lizzie

I like it.

I love it!!

Lizzie

Congratulations!

Congratulations to you! Huh? [embraces Lizzie and begins dancing with her] You killed it in there by the way! Maybe I'll make you a cheerleader there, who knows?

Lizzie

I prefer a GM.

Whatever you want ... [sees Mrs Ari come in] You won't believe it, baby.

Hello, I am Ari's wife.

The slut that ruined your best friend's career and marriage is still working in your office and if that was not enough, for some reason you were spinning her around like you just won Dancing with the Stars.

Why, I-

Why were you spinning her around?

I just got the call from the NFL and I was excited. I have dreamt since I was a little kid of owning a football team. I would have spun Lloyd around if he was in front of me - and if I could lift him.

I don't like that girl, Ari, and I don't like her one bit! I still don't understand why you didn't fire her last year.

If I was gonna fire anyone it should have been Andrew.

You know what? Maybe you should have fired them both.

You're sorry, sorry for what? [stands up] You're sorry for leaking slanderous, out-of-context -

Sit down.

[gestures hand to Mrs Ari] - nonsense about me, huh, and for rifling through all of my hard work to steal my football team?

No, no, your false-

Fuck you.

Ari!

No no, hold on a second! I've never hit a woman in my entire life, but I swear in my mind, right now, I am pummeling your smug face to a pulp for everything you've done to me, my career, and my family. But not to worry, alright because I will prevail, because I'm a winner, and you're a whore with more cleavage than talent, and I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I DESTROY YOU!

Mr Gold, I have to insist that you leave.

Excellent choice, because I have a life to destroy!

Say something!

What is there to say? [stammers and walks out]

Hello?

[At a UNICEF event] What the fuck are you thinking?!?!

What's the problem?

What, you wouldn't think that Bobby Flay wouldn't tell me that you were out on a date?

Well, I guess the Bro Code's out the window when you're fucking someone's wife.

I am indeed hurt and quite frankly embarrassed!

How do you think I felt?

Anyone else, Ari? I mean, even if you insist on throwing it in my face, I could deal with anyone else!

What do you mean?

I always knew you were fucking Dana Gordon!

It's not true. Not since 1992.

Even when I moved out here?

I have NEVER cheated on you...but it's nice to know you still care.

How are you gonna look at me, Ari?

Yo, GRILL-MASTER! [marches inside house with Mrs Ari trying to stop him] Are you in my fucking house? I got a new show for you, it's called Boy Meets Husband Who Kills Him!

[appears from kitchen] I'm not hiding, Ari.

Well, you should!

[holds him back] Please, Bobby!

Melissa, it's okay.

[distraught about what he just saw] I don't fucking believe it.

What, what don't you believe? What, more lies about how all you care about is how happy I am? You're so full of shit.

I have never hidden who I am, obviously you have. I have no idea who you are. From hereon out, we're gonna let the lawyers handle everything. [steps back] Look honey, I've changed. I'm leaving my house, with you and your barbecueing boytoy in it. No fight, no cops called, no tears, no beating his fucking face in. [leaves]