Entourage quotes

I don't know why you're being so aggressive. I'm just is, Andrew coming back?

Ari

Have we not had a good six months without him?

Answer the fucking question.

Ari

No, he is not coming back. He is a coke-fiend sex addict who wrote checks out of this company's account to buy hookers. So no, he will never work here again. Addiction's a disease.

You have no sympathy. I have sympathy.

Ari

I'm just trying to help your career.

My career's in great shape.

Ari

It's gotten even better since you got here, right?

I like that Lizzie.

Ari

Well don't, because she's bad news.

If I've gotta have an agent, why can't I have one who's attractive - and bright and attractive?

Ari

You know she's not gonna fuck you, right?

I'm certain that's not what I meant.

Ari

You know she fucked Andrew?

Seriously?

Ari

That's what caused his whole spiral. It wasn't the drugs. It was her evil pussy that lured him in. That's why I have no sympathy.

Drama

Get down here, Bob, and take your beating.

Drama, you're acting insane. Put the bat down.

Yeah, leave him alone. Bob is a good man.

Drama

Yeah, a good man who's trying to steal my life!

I didn't steal anything!

Drama

Oh yeah? A guy writes a script for me, and you just swoop in and take it? Now get down here before I start smashing cars!

Please don't hit the Volkswagen! That one is mine.

Who says he wrote it for you?

Drama

Roger Jay says.

The writer? I know Roger, Drama. He told that to everybody. He gave it to me six months ago. I just never opened it.

Drama

Yeah right!

Come inside. We'll call Roger together. I'll prove it to you.

Drama

Are you kidding?

[raises right hand] My hand to God.

Drama

Jesus Christ.

I'll give you a blowjob if it'll make you feel better. [Saget looks at her] What? I'm just trying to make him feel better.

Ari

Lloyd!

Lloyd

Yes?

Ari

What would you say about my treatment of you over the last five years?

Lloyd

Treatment?

Ari

This is Jim Lefkowitz, Lloyd. Our attorney.

Lloyd

Attorney? What's going on?

Ari

The lovely Lizzie Grant may sue me.

And you, Lloyd, and everyone who works here may be asked to describe how Ari treats his employees. So what would you say?

Lloyd

Ari has always been gracious and lovely, fair, and reasonable. This has been a dreamlike job from minute one.

And would you say that if you were under oath, facing a perjury charge and possible jail time?

Lloyd

Oh God, I can't do time, Ari. I don't think anybody in my family could. I'm sorry.

Billy Walsh

I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me.

I didn't have much choice, Billy.

Walsh

We all have choices and I've made some bad ones.

Yeah. What can I do for you, Billy?

Walsh

I need you to help guide me out of the toilet like you did Vince.

Why would you want me?

Walsh

Because, man, you were the first guy to believe in me. You found my first script, you got me Vince, you got us the money. And as much as I was hard on you, I always knew you were the guy with the good eye.

We can't work together, Billy.

Walsh

Why not?

Because there's too much baggage and past.

Walsh

Pretend we've never met.

How could I do that?

Walsh

Well, essentially we haven't. I don't drink anymore. I don't do drugs. I don't curse.

You don't curse?

Walsh

No, I've spent the last three years becoming an ordained minister in Santa Fe. Got myself right and I want to work.

You want Vince?

Walsh

I want you to help me. I'll do anything - commercials, tv, anything. I've changed.

Still got that Pablo Escobar tattoo on your back?

Walsh

No, I had it scraped off with a Bowie knife in a ritual smokehouse ceremony. [looks at E] No, it's still there.

Billy Walsh

Okay, [shows character sketches] so Johnny's ex-wife is a nasty little black widow spider monkey named Julie. She's getting remarried to a baboon named Ronald. It's a big ceremony. It's the talk of the town, but when Johnny stops paying alimony, she tells him it was only a love ceremony; That it's not legally binding and that she's taking him to court. And then... Johnny goes bananas.

[laughs] Tell me what happens. Does he win?

Walsh

You'll have to read it.

Drama

Who cares if he wins, and I'm not reading it 'cause I lose!

Ari

Jerry, how are you?

Better than you, it seems. I've just gotten off the phone with our publicist.

Ari

It's all lies and rumors, my friend. Listen, I can clean it all up.

It doesn't matter. I don't do scandal. The NFL doesn't do scandal. It's too bad. We were excited about this.

Ari

So was I.

Good luck with this thing.

Ari

Thank you. [Jones hangs up]

Ari

If you don't want to talk and you don't want to have sex, what else is there to do in here?

Do you want to talk?

Ari

I'd rather have sex.

[reacting to Scott's quips about Kevin Love leaving his office] I don't give a shit! Are you fucking kidding me? Vince's has never done coke a day in his life suddenly you come around, he's hopping out of planes and showing him to important meetings out of his mind?

Scott Lavin

Wait a minute, that was not my fault.

Oh really, whose fucking fault was it, Scott? We've worked way too hard to bring Vince back from the dead, you're trying to fuck it up, stay away from him. [leaves office]

You're sorry, sorry for what? [stands up] You're sorry for leaking slanderous, out-of-context -

Sit down.

[gestures hand to Mrs Ari] - nonsense about me, huh, and for rifling through all of my hard work to steal my football team?

No, no, your false-

Fuck you.

Ari!

No no, hold on a second! I've never hit a woman in my entire life, but I swear in my mind, right now, I am pummeling your smug face to a pulp for everything you've done to me, my career, and my family. But not to worry, alright because I will prevail, because I'm a winner, and you're a whore with more cleavage than talent, and I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I DESTROY YOU!

Mr Gold, I have to insist that you leave.

Excellent choice, because I have a life to destroy!

Why are people from Texas inquiring about my tequila?

Turtle

What people?

Texas people. I don't like being spied on, Turtle.

Turtle

Come on Carlos, don't be paranoid

Who have you been talking to?

Turtle

You told me to find money.

What, when?

Turtle

Said you wanted to expand, and I told you I'd find the money!

That was a joke.

Turtle

It wasn't. It was Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks.

I know who he is.

Scott Lavin

[To E] I'm gonna bring Murray down, with or without you.

Ari

I do what I do and I'm pretty good about it, I'd spend every last dime that I have to show her how much I care about her.

Bullshit.

Scott Lavin

No, it's not bullshit. I got most of the company with me, 'kay? I was going to tell you, in fact, I tried to tell you, but with your fiancee, your attention-

Scott, listen to me. That'll never happen.

Scott

It is happening, with or without you.

[sees the engagement ring he gave Sloan] She sent it in an envelope?!?!

Turtle

and not a padded envelope at that.

Say something!

What is there to say? [stammers and walks out]