Carol Vessey quotes from Ed

Carol

[describing Frankie] Hello I'm a sweet little pixie one minute, and I'm a hot little pixie the next.

Carol

[to Ed] Can you tell me you are 100% certain that you do not want to be with me? Because if you can, just say the word and I will walk right out that door.

Carol

[on why she isn't inviting Ed in] Tonight was absolutely perfect and I want to remember it just exactly as it is.

Carol

[to Ed] I recognize the full irony in what I'm about to say, but do you think there's any way I can interest you in screwing the top back on the toothpaste?

Carol

[on Stella`s assertion that Warren is an adult] Oh, please! Stella, look at him. He's raising his hand.

Ed

Bear my children.

Carol

Would you settle for a Velamint?

Ed

Absolutely

Carol

No matter what changes, the past is always part of me.

Ed

The past is all well and good. I feel I need to start working on my future.

Ed

Carol, in my opinion, you and I have only one problem and that problem is you're in love with me but you're too afraid to admit it to yourself.

Carol

My honest opinion is you're in love with some ideal version of me that I can't possibly live up to.

Ed

[to Carol] Everywhere I went, I saw us... I love you. I love every part of you.

Carol

Can I please kiss you now?

Molly

[about Ed's ex-wife] Yes! You. Talk to Liz. Unless you want to kick her ass. In which case I will be there to see it.

Carol

Nah. She is weak. I am mighty. Wouldn't be fair.

Carol

[to warren, after she catches him in the shower with Stella] If you tell anyone that you saw me naked, I swear to God I will kill you.?

Warren

I feel like I should be able to call you Carol now.

Carol

Can I bounce some of my wedding ideas off you?

Molly

Bounce away, Sister!