Edd quotes from Ed, Edd n Eddy

Edd

Care to submit an idea for a scam, Jonny?

Jonny

Wow. A scam? I don't know...How about this. Jonny and Plank's Penny Dance. A one, and a two- [begins to dance and sing] Pennies, pennies, I seek a penny, give me your pennies, I like the pennies...

Edd

Um, Eddy, a tad eccentric, don't you think?

Jonny

...pennies, pennies, I seek a penny, who's got a penny- [Eddy kicks him into the sky] Whoo-ee! That smarts!

Eddy

This is all your fault. They're all just hunks of wood, for Pete's sake.

Edd

I wouldn't say that too loudly, Eddy. I think they're watching us.

Ed

Make them go away, Double D! Make them go away!

Eddy

Man, this is stupid.

Old Eddy

What happened to us, Double D? We look like turkeys.

Old Edd

Calm down, Eddy. I'll let you shuffle.

Old Eddy

I hate cribbage. I'm just a kid.

Old Edd

[chuckles] Kid? Oh, Eddy. We haven't been kids in over 90 years.

Old Eddy

90 years?!

Old Ed

Baby go wee-wee. [he and Edd laugh]

Eddy

What's this about you givin' stuff away? How am I supposed to compete with that?

Edd

My school supplies! Gone! Pillaged! Plundered! It can't be! IT CAN'T BE!

Edd

A highlighter pen?" "How am I supposed to take notes with a highlighter...

Ed

"Double D, can I have your hat?"

Edd

Oh sure, why not! Why would I need a hat when school is now totally out of the question! Wait! You still have it, don't you? From your parents, yes? The back-to-school-sale coupon?

Ed

Haven't got a clue what you're talking about, Double D. All I got is a back-to-school-sale coupon from my parents.

Eddy

That stupid thing's worthless! The signs are as clear as the gap in your teeth, sock-head. School ain't meant to be. 'Cause it's Summer baby!

Eddy

Oh puh-leeze.

Ed

Sounds good to me, whatever you just said!

Edd

Quickly, Ed! We have shopping to do!

Eddy

Oh c'mon, guys! Forget school, will ya? SUMMER AIN'T OVER!

Eddy

Oh yes you do, or Ed here will write your locker combination on the girls' bathroom wall.

Edd

You wouldn't dare!

Edd

What are you doing to that poor defenseless dictionary?

Eddy

Ed's cramming for the spelling bee. [Eddy stuffs pages into Ed's ears] Feeling smarter, Ed?

Ed

[spewing out loose sheets as he speaks] What?

Edd

Have you ever had one of those days, Ed?

Ed

Every day of my life, Double D.

Kevin

Better spill the beans, Mr. Editor, or you're paper pulp.

Edd

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Kevin

Who wrote this stuff?

Edd

Miniature aliens? Hairy legs? Lost cities and spandex bicycle shorts? Who indeed is this Bobby Blabby? Eddy? Care to explain?

Eddy

What? Uh... couldn't tell ya. Sounds like a jerk.

Ed

You dropped your loot, Bibby Boo-boo.

Eddy

IT'S BOBBY BLABBY! GET IT RIGHT! Oops.

Eddy

Hey! Let me go! Untie me!

Ed

I found him the science cupboard pretending to be a stuffed beaver, Double-D.

Edd

The nurse thanks you, Eddy.

Eddy

Oh Yeah? What for?

Edd

For helping Kevin conquer his fear of needles by allowing him to witness the safe and easy administration of a real booster shot.

Eddy

Oh no you don't! Not me!

Ed

Worry not, little man. Because you get to have a lollypop after.

Eddy

Mommy.

Kevin

Sweet.

Eddy

But... No! Don't do it! I'm too young!

Ed

Needle!?

Eddy

I hate Needles!

Eddy

Great. So I end up with a detention because of your stupid eating habits.

Ed

Is it that time already? Ooh, gravy cakes. Yum."

Edd

Excuse me, Ed, but don't you feel this daily diet of gravy may become detrimental to your health?

Eddy

I swear he's obsessed with the stuff. It's stashed here, right there. I bet you couldn't go a lousy day without your lousy gravy, Ed.

Ed

Says you.

Eddy

SO PROVE IT!

Ed

[screams] Your voice is like toothpicks in my drumsticks, Eddy!

Edd

I agree, Ed. I've always wished Eddy could communicate in a tone of voice that didn't rattle the timbers of every house in a four-block vicinity.

Ed

Don't touch that dial, kids.

Eddy

What about you, Mr. Encyclopediac? I bet I could stop yelling way before you could stop using those big fancy-schmancy words of yours.

Jonny

Plank says Double D would go wacky if he only used words with one syllable.

Eddy

Ha! Even the doorstop's got you pegged.

Kevin

Aw, Dork, Dorkk and Dorky are having a little tiff. Ain't it precious? [He and Nazz laugh] What dorks.

Rolf

Always with this duck word, yes Kevin-boy? Rolf would wager his love of mammal flesh and 25 cents that you cannot renounce this label for the mixed-nuts Ed-boys.

Eddy

25 cents?

Kevin

What? I can give up saying dork just like that. [Snaps his fingers]

Eddy

[To Jonny] Think you could go a whole day without that chunk of termite food telling you what to do?

Jonny

Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy, Eddy. Right, Plank?

Eddy

Sounds like we got ourselves a bet.

Eddy

Let's see here. Con-she-enn-shus? What kinda bunk word is that? Ohhhh. Here's another one. Temper-a-mental. I dunno about you, but that's just plain stupid.

Edd

STOP!!!!!! I will not tolerate your single-handed annihilation of the English language for your own monetary gain, Eddy!

Ed

Don't touch that dial, kids!

Edd

Good Afternoon, Peach Creek Jr. High. This is your principal speaking with a very important announcement. All copies of student Eddy's photographs are to be returned to him immediately. This will leave to comply a well-warned detention for the rest of the semester. Thank You.

Kevin

Bummer.

Eddy

You heard the man.

Edd

Did I just do that? I did, didn't I? I just impersonated the Principal! Made false declarations in his name! Ohhh what have I done?

Edd

We hit the sky?! [the sky cracks] This isn't possible!

Eddy

Ed was right, the sky is falling.

Ed

Thank you very much.

Eddy

So, now what do we do?

Edd

I'm afraid we're just about to find out, Eddy.

Eddy

[offscreen] Go on, get in there.

Edd

Um...good morrow to thee. I'm about to share with thou fellow villagers the tale of Fort Peach Creek. Let us–begin, shall we?

Sarah

I hate public access.

Edd

A long time ago, Peach Creek was buteth an untamed wilderness of towering trees, torrid waters, and savage beasts!

Ed

Cock-a-doodle doo! I am a salvaged moose! Bleaugh!

Edd

Oh, regardeth over the horizon, for the hero of our epic tale doth approach!

Eddy

I have come from afar and shall claim this wilderness as our own! Hark ye, o' savage moose, moveth along, or be turned into moose chops! Hear ye?

Ed

This landeth is your landeth o' great shorteth one.

Eddy

Yes, this land is fulleth of peachy fuzzy fruits, and for this reason I claimeth this place as Fort Peach Creek!

Edd

And...there...you'll...haveth...it.

Ed

Cock-a-doodle doo!

Eddy

It's mine! Gimme my donut! I saw it first!

Edd

Eddy, calm down. You know you're only encouraging him. Oh, Eddy. Now look what you've done!

Ed

YOWCH!

Edd

Goodness gracious! Have you two no respect for the sanctum of school property? Honestly, I– Oh, um, I withdraw my last statement. No harm done, yes?

Eddy

What you got there?

Edd

Nothing. Righto. Let's say we make our way to–

Eddy

School dance, tonight? How'd we miss this?

Edd

Isn't it a shame? Why, if only we had known sooner. Oh well. There's always next year.

Eddy

Only losers stay home on a school dance night, and we ain't losers. Right, Ed?

Ed

Sure ain't, Eddy.

Eddy

Check this out.

Edd

"Win a date with Eddy! Sign up here!"? You're not seriously thinking of going to this- Do you realize that it's customary for a boy to ask a girl to attend?!

Sarah

[To Jonny] I'D RATHER DATE A FROG, BALDY!

Jonny

Whaddya mean I shoulda ate a breathmint, Plank?

Eddy

Asking's for chumps, Double D. My brother told me really cool guys ride solo, so they ain't stuck with the same chick all night. C'mon! I got something that'll knock your socks off!

Ed

Missed too many laundry days for that, Eddy. My socks and me are as one.

Edd

GOOD LORD! Stinky stinky stinky.