Jonny 2x4 quotes from Ed, Edd n Eddy

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Scenes with Jonny 2x4 18

[The Eds follow Jonny to look for wood]

Jonny

[points] There!

[The camera zooms over to a trash can full of garbage and Eddy picks up a popsicle stick from it]

A dirty popsicle stick?

[grabs the popsicle stick from Eddy] Got it, Eddy.

[groans] We need large pieces of wood, Jonny. Tell Plank to quit fooling around.

Jonny

Okay, okay! He said follow him!

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A suit, annoying? I spent two hours counter-balancing chains, and all you can come up with is a suit?

What's with you? It was the most annoying thing I could think of.

My father wears a suit.

Exactly.

Well I suggest something a little more on topic. Anchovies. The person who invented this smelly salty fish dish should have been imprisoned for the rest of their life. [to Jonny] Open wide please.

Jonny

I smell something fishy. [dodges]

Please, Jonny. [Jonny laughs and dodges again] Please, Jonny.

Jonny

Plank says fish is– [Edd stuffs the spoon full of anchovies in his mouth and brushes his teeth with it]

I glued a block of wood to Jonny's foot.

Ed, why did you glue a block of wood to Jonny's foot? And why these chains? And why the suit? Why Jonny?

Jonny. People really like it when you say WHY ALL THE TIME!

Jonny

They do? Why? Why? Why? Why?

And people really like it when you poke 'em on the head.

Cut it out, Ed.

See? Eddy likes it.

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Murphy's law, do your stuff! [a clothespin lands on his foot] Ouch! My foot! It's broken! Owie!

Jimmy?

Jonny

That clothespin went right for him, Plank.

You okay, Jimmy?

Did someone get the number of that launderade?

Poor Jimmy.

[comes down in a kiddie pool standing on his tongue as his grand finale] Ta-da! [sees all the kids leaving]

Jonny

Plank says clothespins are known to attack at the blink of an eye.

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It was horrible! [fake coughs] Did I say it was horrible?

Horrible it was. A giant Swedish meatball with a bloodcurdling scream grabbed Eddy in its drooling grasp! [makes chewing sounds]

Please.

Rolf

Rolf has seen this meatball. It stalks Wilfred in the dead of night.

KKids

Whoa!

[Cut to Sarah and Jimmy]

You stay put here, Jimmy. I'll get some kids to help me carry you to your room. And don't forget to drink, you need to keep your fluids up.

You forgot the straw, Sarah. [an acorn falls into his drink] An acorn. Hello, Mister Squirrel. You're cute.

[Cut back to the Eds and the kids]

You're so brave, Eddy. Is there anything we can do for you?

The fact that I'm surrounded by all my friends is all I need.

You're just a big faker. Jimmy's the one who is really hurt.

Come closer, my child. You tell Jimmy he's out of his league.

[in the backyard, he has been crushed by a tree] Sarah! Owie!

Not again!

[gasps] It's Jimmy! Jimmy's in trouble!

C'mon, guys!

Jonny

Wait up, guys!

Hey, wait! Where ya goin'? Where's my attention? I was attacked by a meatball.

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Hit the road, Bubbleboy. What the...

Rolf

Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf.

Kevin

What are you talking about, man?

Rolf

Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf. Must I spell it? We have guests.

[Eddy crash-lands on Rolf and Kevin]

It worked! I'm safe! I'm better than Jimmy!

Jonny

Did 'ya see that, Plank? Great crash, Eddy.

Need any help, dude?

[floating down] Greetings, earthlings! Oh, you too, Mr. Doggie. You're cute. [a low growl is heard] I'm safe! No problem! [his suit tears and deflates] Not safe! Not safe! Help me!

I'm coming, Jimmy!

Wait up, guys!

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Jonny

Hey! How'd you guys get inside my wall? [to Plank] What's that? Plank says take a hike or we'll call the cops.

Hey, Plank! Ever took a tour of a toothpick factory?

Eddy, manners!

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[After Eddy's made-up story]

"The square root of a piece of pie"?

What?

Pure fiction, Eddy. Your exaggerated tale could only be described as cockamamie.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. I have never heard such language.

Jonny

Don't stop now! What happened next? What happened next?

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Take note; as I am a-

Stupid sockhead and a babbling dweeb who can't lift a butterfly. I wish I was as good-looking as Eddy.

Jonny

Boy, this story stinks. Plank and I want a real story, with stuff like octopus' gardens, silver hammers, and Mr. Kite.

Open a window, Jonny, and get some air.

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Jonny

Let's tickle them till they wet their pants.

Well, let's not jump to anything rash.

Fools! Evil Tim has beckoned you all! For you will all pay with your brains!

Brains? What're we gonna do with brains?

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[Jonny's head is stuck between two branches]

Jonny, not again.

Jonny

Yep, this happens to me a lot, Double D.

Didn't you learn from your past mistakes? I mean, it's just common sense.

Jonny

I guess not.

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Kevin

Is this thing supposed to be dead?

The iguana ain't dead, windbag. It's just, uh...

Sleeping like a baby, Kevin. That'll be 25 cents.

Jonny

Sold!

I'm surrounded by idiots.

Who's complaining?

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[chanting] Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk-

Jonny

We hate broccoli!

[Pause]

Ain't gonna work!

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Kevin

Man, Nazz looks awesome today.

Jonny

I wanna write Nazz a poem, and I hate writing.

Double D, my tummy feels all wiggly and crawly inside.

That's nice, Ed.

I feel like the Nazz on the back of my Nazz is standing on Nazz.

That's nice, Ed.

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Jonny

Too bad! Plank was just aching to try a new ride! [laughs] One time Plank went on a roller coaster 119 times in a row. Whew! I chucked biscuits after that, didn't I, buddy? Why, Plank spent his whole allowance that day; a regular Rockefeller.

Plank gets an allowance? Have I got a ride for you. [grabs Plank and throws him in he air]

Jonny

Plank?!

Nice ride, huh, Plank? That'll be 25 cents.

Jonny

Plank says you throw like a toothpick, Eddy. He won't pay for kiddie rides.