Webby Vanderquack quotes from DuckTales (2017)

[shines the light on Webby] What were you doing there?

Webby

Oh, nothing. Definitely not collecting drool samples while he sleeps. [an empty vial rolls across the floor]

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[seeing Lena and Webby in the Other Bin] What the blazes are you two doing in here?!

Webby

[realizing Scrooge kept his Dime in the first vault] Oh, of course! The Number One Dime was in the number one chamber. Duh!

No one thinks to check the first one. But you shouldn't be checking at all! The Other Bin is far too dangerous.

It's on me. We wanted to see your dime, and we overheard you were keeping it in here, and...

Webby

Sorry, Uncle Scrooge.

You should know by now that if you want to know something, all you have to do is ask. Be straight with me, lassie. What if you were lost, or hurt, or eaten by the dragon?

Webby

[hugs Scrooge] Aw man, there's a dragon in here?

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Webby

You still haven't told your brothers what we found out about your mom?

Tell them what exactly? She took the Spear of Selene? We have no idea what that means. We don't even know what it looks like. Why get them in a panic when this could all be a dead end?

Webby

Because... honesty?

[looks deep in thought] Mmm... mhmm... mhmm... mhmm...

Webby

Why do you always do that?

Do what?

Webby

Whenever you want to ignore something, you stare into the distance and pretend you're thinking.

I'm trying to protect my brothers from finding out something that could upset them.

Webby

And keeping an earth-shattering secret from them that could destroy your brotherhood wouldn't upset them?

[looks deep in thought] Mmm... mhmm... mhmm... mhmm...

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[as Huey counterbalances the plane as Dewey tries to get the piece of paper they need]

Junior Woodchuck Rule 18: Every action, has an equal and opposite reaction.

Webby

I thought that was Newton.

Where do you think he got it from?

Webby

Science?

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[as Dewey goes outside the plane to get the piece of paper]

No. Not again.

Webby

[through the radio] Dewey, this is crazy! The mystery's not worth it!

[through the radio] I get it, but you can't give up the rest of us to find the one person we lost!

[through the radio] Dewey! The Darkwing Duck video is still running! Do you want me to pause it until you get back?

[through the radio] Give me that. Dewey, our family is amazing! We're enough! Let it go!

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[after Scrooge tells them how their mother vanished]

[angry] Cool... so you're the reason our mom is gone!

[shocked] What? No! I..I--

[the plane begins to lean forward] Um, guys?

You built her a crazy dangerous super rocket!

Which she stole early!

Then you encouraged her to keep flying through a cosmic storm? You could have called her down, there were too many variables!

Now boys, you don't know....

And you're the richest duck in the world! Why didn't you send up more ships to look for her?

[growing frustrated] I spared no expense!

[coldly] Yeah, right. Cheap old Scrooge probably bailed as soon as it put a dent in his money bin.

[the plane leans further] Um, guys?

Webby

Take it easy Dewey, he may have a point. Even if gifting an experimental rocket to a mother of three was clearly a terrible idea!

This is a family matter! You are not family!

See here, McDuck. You will not speak to my granddaughter that way.

You will not speak to me that way! None of you! After everything I do for you, you're all nothing but trouble!

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Webby

Isn't he gonna say goodbye?

We're taking those vacation days if that's alright with you... sir.

[bitterly] Fine.

[as Webby sadly leaves] Well, you've successfully pushed your family and everyone who cared about you away... again. I hope you're happy.

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[as Webby and Launchpad discuss their plan to stop Donald and the boys from moving away]

Webby

Step one. We throw the boys a farewell party to convince them they don't want to move.

Step two. Reveal surprise guest, Scrooge, and remind them how much they all miss each other!

Webby

Step three. There is no step three, because we just nailed it in two steps!

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[Scrooge keeps guessing Donald's pantomimes correctly]

Oh, so that's why he picked Donald.

Webby

He spent 30 years guessing what Donald was saying, he must get good at non-verbal communication.

Beakley

Time!

Donald

It was a Mermanticore!

[offended] That was a Mermanticore?! THIS is a Mermanticore!

Beakley

Mr. McDuck and Donald scored 34.

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Webby

[translating the Drosera occidendum's inscription in English] "Long ago, an invading force let a bloody massacre that left the town empty. From the wreckage, a single flower grew, proving that no matter how terrible a tragedy, life will always find a way to bloom anew. Now, the town celebrates this triumph every year." Or something like that. My Portuguese is a little enferrujado.

Webby, get out of the way, you're ruining my shot with your story!

Webby

My story provides context for your photo!

Of course. This is a moment of a cultural significance. Louie, get a full-body shot. Hit it.

Okay, now look thoughtful. No, not confused. Oh, okay, don't move. That's the stuff!

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Della

Where are my--? [gasps as she spots her sons with Webby; then smiles warmly]

Who's the cyborg?

Is that…?

It can't be.

Webby

Guys, I think that's your mom.

[Della sits on her knees with tears welling in her eyes]

Huey, Dewey, Louie, meet Della Duck.

[chuckles] I'm part robot! I knew it!

[He runs up to his mother and hugs her. As Della rubs her hands on her son's face, her tearful joy turns into confusion]

Della

Wait. Huey, Dewey, and Louie? No, no, no. Their names were supposed to be Jet, Turbo, and Rebel.

I could've been Turbo?!

Della

I told Donald. I wrote it down, in case no one could understand him.

I COULD'VE BEEN TURBO?!?!

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[yawns] Boy, this sure has been a friend-aversery thingy. You know who my best friend is?

Me.

Sleep. Come on, even Beakley fell asleep, I think?

[Beakley is snoring with her eyes open]

Webby

It's a spy thing. And yeah, it might be sleepy time.

Sleep? N-No way! It's only 4:00 A.M.! That's so early!

Violet

Judging from your sunken eyes, elevated heart rate and irritability--

Your irritability!

Violet

I'd say you're suffering from a serious lack of sleep.

Uh, yeah! Because I've been planning so many exciting activities for this party! I'll be surprised if we ever sleep again. [yawns, then chuckles] I'm gonna go splash some cold water in my face so we can party even harder! Ha-ha! [runs off to the bathroom]

KKids

[all exhausted] Yay.

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[disgusted when he sees a blue high school] Ew, Webby, why is there a school in your dream?

[gasps] That's not Webby's dream. [bursts the doors open, wearing a sports jacket]

[The kids enter the blue school, which is revealed to be Dewey's dream]

Webby

Whoa! Nice hair!

Thanks! It's alive! [his hairstyle makes a thumbs-up] This is Dewey High! [singing] ♪ I'm the most wholesome boy in school / I'm a talented jock, everyone thinks is cool / If TV and movies taught me anything / When you turn into a teen, you just have to sing! ♪

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Webby

Come on, Dewey, none of us feel like dancing. Maybe we should move on to the next dream.

Yeah, I just failed a class on something called, "Dewology." [An F-minus appears above him]

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[The kids walk into the locker and out through the doggy door, entering Louie's dream, where he's lying on the sofa as a lazy cat]

Webby

Louie?

Mmm, yes?

This is your dream, to be even lazier?

I nap all day, I never have to worry about anything, I'm shamelessly pampered. [knocks down Pep soda cans Dream Beakley sets on the armrest with his paw] Meow. Everyone pat my head. [purring as Dewey, Webby and Violet all pet him]

[groans in annoyance] Good kitty. [Louie bites his hand] Ow!

Never mind, I don't want that anymore. [falls asleep]

You're asleep?! We're in a dream! How are you sleep-sleeping?!

I just am.

Webby

Hey, where's Lena?