LouieA robot that does everything for you? How could you say no to that?
Part of hard work is knowing how to work with others. My board are the only people cheaper than I am. I trust them completely to make good financial decisions-
Indeed. Which is why we've called this meeting to discuss cutting your unnecessary spending here at the Money Bin.
Unnecessary?! I'm Scrooge McDuck! I don't spend one penny more than I need to!
It says here you're spending $15,000,000 on magical defense.
Do you have any idea how many vengeance curses I have on my head?!
Louie
[inserts a dollar into the Pep soda vending machine, but isn't enough to deposit ten cents] $1.10?! Who keeps dimes on them anymore? [heads back to Scrooge's office, notices the dime resting on a red velvet pillow and takes it] Sweet! Scrooge has an emergency dime. [inserts the dime into the vending machine and gets a Pep soda can] I'll pay you back later.
[Back in the meeting room…]
But how do you justify spending $5,000 on a velvet pillow for a dime?
That dime deserves its own velvet pillow! It's my number-one dime. The first dime I ever earned. I was a young shoeshine in Glasgow when a man came in, his boots cemented in mud. I worked, and worked until those boots sparkled. In return, he gave me an American dime. That dime inspired me to move to America and find my fortune. It means more to me than every bit of bullion in my Money Bin.
Louie
[catches up with Gyro at the elevator; out of breath] Hey, Gyro Gearloose!
If this is about the Gearloose Magnetic Backpack, I specifically said they should not be used as school bags. Blathering Blatherskite, one teen gets stuck to a moving school bus. [starts pushing a button]
Louie
No, no, no, no, no. Louie Duck, Scrooge's super-rich nephew.
[releases the button with his finger and the elevator door opens] Keep talking, sir.
Louie
I can't believe Scrooge and that tired old board of his didn't see the potential in Lil' Bulb here. I'd love to invest, but I'm gonna need to test this little guy out first. Do you mind if I borrow him for the afternoon?
Anything you say, rich nephew. Lil' Bulb, you be good. Don't you rise up against your masters.
Louie
[annoyingly imitating Scrooge] "Put in a hard day's work. I think I'm so much smarter than--"
Louie! Where have you been? Trying to get out of work again?
Louie
What? No! I just, um... uh, filled up my notepad with all that precious business wisdom, so I went to go find another.
Good lad! Feel free to take as many pads as you want. [to the boardroom] Or are we not allowed to use those either, ya penny-pinching buzzards?! [slams door, but immediately opens again] No, but really, make sure to use the front and back of every page. [closes the door, but opens again] And write small.
I'm proud of you, lad. You put in a full day at the office. I think you've earned this. [gives Louie his dime]
Louie
You're giving me your number-one dime?
Ha! That's not my lucky dime. I never let my dime out of my sight. [pulls out a necklace with the real dime in it] That was just a decoy. I'm not an idiot, this place is full of lunatics.
[double checking supplies in the boat] Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen.
Hot dog costumes! [puts life vests covered in hot dogs in the boat]
You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Louie, goes mad with hunger, we'll put these on. Louie hates hot dogs, so he probably won't eat us.
Are you saying that Louie would rather eat us than hot dogs?
Louie
I do hate hot dogs.
Lena, this is Huey, Dewey, and Louie.
Webby, we've been looking for you everywhere!
Cute, with the names, and the color-coded outfits, is that, like, your thing? You're all exactly the same?
HDHuey, Dewey, & Louie
[in unison] Ha! No way! We're all unique snowflakes! [beat] Well this usually never happens. This is really weird! Okay, stop talking! [beat] Antidisestablishmentarianism! SERIOUSLY?! Gah!
Seriously, Webby, where have you been? We've been worried out of our minds!
Right, you were so worried that you left her on a beach and didn't show up for four hours?
Thanks to old Captain Lost!
Louie
Why would you put me in charge of the map again?! This is not on me.
[chanting] Captain Lost! Captain Lost!
Louie
[enraged] Ooh, you change the tone of that chant! [starts strangling Dewey as Huey tries pulling him away]
Yeah, they seem like a real tight crew.
[Episode starts with the Duck nephews, Webby, Lena, and Mrs. Beakley leaving the cinema after seeing a horror movie]
Oh, man, that is classic cinema!
Oh, and remember when the surgeon tried to cut the mole queen in half but then she multiplied into a million mole babies and then they ate him?! [imitates chainsaw noises and Webby makes growling sounds]
[grabs Lena by the arm] You said this was an educational film. Suitable for all ages.
Uh, it's a cautionary tale about the dangers of mole monsters. And everyone could use a lesson on chainsaw safety.
[Launchpad is the last person to leave the cinema with a horrified look on his face and looks at the movie poster]
Louie
Lame! Where was the drama, the heart, the needlessly expensive car crash mayhem?
Even if mole-men did exist, why attack someone in the shower? With the water running, there wouldn't be enough traction to attack anyone above the knee. Totally phony.
What is with you guys? It says right on the poster, "based on an actual true novel."
[pulls out his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook] This is the only book I trust. If it's not in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, then it's not a thing.
Well, what about the legendary Terra-firmians of Duckburg?
[sigh] Let's see... Pterodactyl, terror-dactyl, terrible twos, nope. No Terra-firmians. Must not exist.
[laughing] What? Terra-firmians, the mythical underground race that live below our very city?
Children, children. There's an easy way to settle this. Let's go find them ourselves.
Please talk some sense into Webby. You don't really believe that rock monsters are playing earthquake games.
Louie
Huey's usually right about nerd stuff.
Not this time. Those "aftershocks" are actually a revolt led by the lost Terra-firmian prince. He's using the games as a distraction to storm the Califermy Citadel! It's all in this artist's rendering. [shows her drawings and notes]
Louie
Ooh, that sounds awesome. I want that to be true.
Earthquakes are a result of shifting tectonic plates.
But who's pushing the plates, Huey? Who's pushing the plates?!
Other plates are pushing the plates!
Now who sounds ridiculous?
Louie, whose side are you on?
Louie
Oh, neither. This is just way more entertaining than that movie. [takes out and eats a bucket of popcorn] What? I got a refill on the way out. It's encouraged.
Louie
I can't believe Uncle Gladstone is here!
Louie
He's like the luckiest guy in the world. Uncle Donald, you must have had the best time growing up with him.
[Flashbacks show Donald's time with Gladstone while he gets $20, due to his luck; back to present]
[sulking with jealousy] He's the worst. Just the worst.
Gladstone Gander is a complete layabout. I don't know why we're responding to his call.
And like Uncle Donald says, "Family always helps family."
Louie
Plus, he's easily our coolest uncle.
Louie
Sorry, coolest non-trillionaire uncle.
Hey, come on, Uncle Donald is kinda cool.
Louie
[trying on a suit] This is the best anyone has ever looked.
Well, Green Bean, if you wanna be a winner, you need to look like a winner. [to the tailor] And you can bill my suit to the room, please.
TTailor
Oh, no no no no no, Mr. Gladstone. I cannot do this. It would be such a great honor for me to know that you are out in the world wearing this suit! [Gladstone and Louie leave, Donald is about to leave, but is stopped by the tailor] Two thousand dollars, cash only.
[trying to guess how many fingers someone is holding up] Twenty-seven! Twenty-seven! TWENTY-SEVEN!
Louie
Ugh, give it up, Uncle Donald. Please.
No, no, no. Let it ride. You're about to-
CTCasino Toad
TWO?! We have a winner! Congratulations, you won a brand-new Thunderclutch sports car.
Great, this is the second car I've won for-
CTCasino Toad
Four?! You win again!
[as Louie indulges himself in the treasure room] You should really leave that alone. Basic rule of treasure hunting, if it might be cursed, don't touch it.
Louie
You said you weren't sure what the prophecy meant.
No, but I am sure it said the golden reward is for those who serve Toth-Ra.
Louie
I am serving him, by cleaning up. This place is a mess of treasure!
Mt. Neverrest, the highest peak in the world! Most prized of the seven summits, Neverrest has claimed the world's finest explorers. It is said to be completely unclimbable. But now, that smug stack of stalagmites has to deal with Scrooge McDuck!
Louie
Okay, so instead of spending Christmas in a billionaire's mansion, waiting for Santa Claus...
That man is not allowed in my home. He knows what he did.
Louie
... we're following an old man up Mt. Certain Doom, here?
Oh, Mt. Neverrest is three times deadlier than Mt. Certain Doom.
DuckTales (2017) · 345 quotes
