[Drake and Josh try to wake up Vince after he was knocked unconscious by a fire extinguisher]
JoshHey, hey. He's awake.
[wakes up] Oh, what happened? How long I been out?
Oh, I remember. You clowns were fighting over this parachute. [holds his head] Oh, what'd I hit my head on?
Josh
This fire extinguisher.
Josh
See, I'm pretty sure you hit your head right on this lever-- [accidentally sprays Vince with a fire extinguisher; Vince screams as he falls out of the plane]
[angrily] Do you know what you just did?!
Josh
[worried] I extinguished our pilot?
[angrily] No, he has a parachute! You've extinguished us!
Josh
What are we gonna do?
I'm gonna fly this helicopter, you've seen me play Helicopter Rescue.
Josh
What? That's a video game.
So? If I could land a military helicopter on the Empire State Building, rescue the princess while a giant lobster shoots rockets at me, I think I can land this thing on a freeway, alright?
Josh
I won't argue with that logic!
CTControl tower manager
[over radio] Control Tower to Chopper 9065, Control Tower to Chopper 9065.
Josh
Yes, yes! Grab the mike, grab the mic.
[grabs hold of the mike] Uh, hello, hello, Control Tower, this is Chopper 9065. Help, help! Can you hear me?
CTControl tower manager
[over radio] Yeah, yeah. Loud and clear.
Look, we're 7,000 feet, we got no pilot, and I don't know how to land this thing!
CTControl tower manager
[over radio] Alright, alright, alright. Tell me where you are.
CTControl tower manager
[over radio] I realize that, I need to get a bearing on your location.
Josh
Look down, look down.
Okay, okay, I see, uh... Uh, uh, a church, and the ocean to my left, uh... [the radio snaps off and the mike flies out of his hand] I see-- A RADIO :PLUMMETING TO EARTH?!
Josh
I'll call Mom and Dad.
Josh
Why not?!
Well, because if they know I'm up in this helicopter, I'm gonna get grounded.
Josh
Okay, if we don't get help, we're gonna become PART of the ground!!
Well, can't you call the fire department?
Josh
Yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking they don't have a 7,000-foot LADDER!
It's the fuel gauge! We're on E.
Josh
Well, maybe E means extra fuel! TELL ME E MEANS EXTRA FUEL!
E means empty, dude; we're out of fuel!
Josh
AUUGGGHHH! [gets in praying position] Dear Savior, I am sorry about the time I was 5 years old and stole that piece of bubblegum. I am sorry about the time I watched that pretty lady's laundry spin in the dryer at the laundromat. I'm sorry--
Will you stop that? We're gonna get out of this!
Josh
HEY NOW, HEY NOW! DON'T DREAM IT'S OVER!!!
Josh
What are you looking for?
Josh
Oh, a parachute. But, there's only one.
Okay. I'll take it and bring back help.
Josh
What? What kind of help are you gonna bring back, a dive team to locate my corpse? Okay, we'll jump together.
Josh
[putting the parachute on] Yeah, okay? I'll put this on, you hold onto me, and we jump, alright?
Uh... [looks down 7,000 feet to the ocean]
Josh
Drake, you ready?
Uh, no, no. I'm not jumping with you, Josh.
Josh
Yeah, you are.
Josh
Why not?
Look, just jump, okay? Go.
Josh
What's wrong with you?
I'm-- I'm afraid, alright?
Josh
You were just about to jump out by yourself.
I know, but then I looked down, saw how high we are, peed a little bit, and I ain't jumping, Josh!
Josh
You're going, alright?
No, I'm not. Look, look, we're on E, okay? Just jump out!
Josh
Oh, I'm going, and you're coming with me! [hooks the parachute to one of Drake's straps, they scream and jump out of the helicopter all the way down the ocean as Josh pulls the cord of the parachute and it opens up] It opened! Ha-ha!
Josh
Oh, sorry.
[while playing with dominos at home] Great present, Walter. [Drake and Josh come home and confront her] What?
Josh
You hung up on us.
When we were in a helicopter alone, running out of fuel.
Josh
We had to jump out.
Josh
We barely made it.
Josh
Until we were rescued by a tuna boat.
Did you bring me some tuna?
Josh
Come over here! [Megan screams as Audrey and Walter come home] Come here!
Mom, Walter, you're home, how nice.
Hey, Megan. So how was the water park?
Josh
I had a churro.
[Vince doorbells and angrily arrives at Drake and Josh's house]
Josh
I call knob!
[Drake and Josh are shocked that Vince stopped by the house, much to their horror]
You blasted me out of my own helicopter.
DJDrake & Josh
Wha-- Shh!
Not in front of our parents.
[Josh whistles]
[to Audrey] I'll handle this. [he walks over to Vince] How can I help you?
Yes. [Vince angrily gives him a bill] What's this?
[angrily] A BILL. That's how much you owe me for my new helicopter.
What? [looks at the bill Vince gave him how much he needs to pay for his helicopter] $400,000?!
[Audrey and Megan are both shocked]
[as Walter] Boys, you're both grounded.
Josh
But Dad--
[as Walter] Grounded, 2 weeks.
Josh
But it wasn't our fault!
Josh
[defeated] Yes, sir.
Josh
Night.
[knowing the consequences, Drake and Josh ground themselves for 2 weeks as the episode ends]
Drake & Josh · 289 quotes
