Carlos Solis quotes from Desperate Housewives

Carlos Solis

[after Gaby told Carlos she assumed she had sex with Zach] I can't believe you bagged another neighbourhood kid!

Gabrielle Solis

Where are you going?

Carlos Solis

To warn the Scavo boys!

Edie

"You think you were bored? I've had more thrills leaning up against my dryer."

Carlos

"Then what was all that moaning?"

Edie

"I was in pain! You were smashing my breasts!"

Carlos

"Oh, come on!"

Edie

"You hunkered down on top of me like you were hiding from the border patrol."

Carlos

"I was tired. You just laid there while I did all the work. When we were done, I felt like I should deflate you."

Edie

"Well, sex is like tennis. When you play an inferior opponent, your game suffers."

Carlos

"Are you challenging me to a rematch?"

Carlos

"Do you mind if I say something?"

"Please."

Carlos

"Gaby and I never planned to get back together, Victor. We tried to keep away from each other. We really did. And...I don't know, it's like we're two halves of the same person or something. And when we're apart, we...we just aren't happy, which is why we... We never set out to hurt you, Victor. And I'm sorry we did."

"Are you done?"

Carlos

"Yeah."

Carlos Solis

It's good for a dog to sleep with its master. It helps us bond.

Gabrielle Solis

Well if you ever want to bond with my boobs again, you'll get her off.

Carlos

[to Gaby about Ellie] So we have two tramps living in our house.

Gabrielle

[to Carlos about Ellie] Okay, there may be two tramps in this house, but only one of them is getting paid.

Carlos Solis

Did I ever tell you when I knew I was going to marry you?

Gabrielle Solis

First time you saw me on the runway.

Carlos Solis

Nooo. That's when I knew I was gonna sleep with you. [chuckles] Nah, I knew I was going to marry you the night we went to that restaurant on 3rd Street.

Gabrielle Solis

Mmm. I remember that place.

Carlos Solis

Mm-hmm. You wore a white linen sundress and you ordered this giant plate of ribs. And you ate them with such gusto - up to your elbows in barbecue sauce, meat hanging from your teeth and grease in your hair - and when it was all over, I pointed out what a mess you were. You pulled out your mirror, took a look at yourself, and just let out this huge, happy, totally unrestrained laugh. The room completely filled with it, and I thought to myself now that is a sound I'd like to hear the rest of my life. That's why I proposed to you. And it had nothing to do with your looks.

Gabrielle Solis

You know when I decided I wanted to be with you forever?

Carlos Solis

No. When?

Gabrielle Solis

About two seconds ago.

Gabrielle Solis

Up until then, it was pretty touch and go.