Fang quotes from Dave the Barbarian

Dave

[Clears throat.] I would like to formally apologise for all the trouble we barbarians have-

Fang

No! Scare them, scream at them, run and yell! Run and yell!

Oswidge

Hark, the dread footfalls of family disgrace draw nigh.

Fang

If that means Dave's a bonehead, I agree.

Oh, there must be something lower than F-minus. Z! Z! Z! Z! Z! Z! Z!

Candy

Here's the plan: we changes our names, move to a distant island, and disguise ourselves as a family of travelling donkey polishers.

Fang

Is this before or after we beat Dave to a pulp?

Fang

Psych! No way man! Later we're gonna sneak up and skin you with a clam shell. [Family cracks knuckles]

Dave

I like clams.

Fang

You've gotta stop passing all these stupid laws! Everybody's really mad at you! Especially the cats.

Dave

It says, "Meow".

Fang

And they mean it.

Throughout history, there have been many great barbarian heroes: Kronkaz the Smasher, Mortaad the Ridiculer-

Hey! Pizza face!

Sheebor, the Stomper on Things Until They're Squished Into Mushy Paste-

Ha! Are you paste yet?

Not... Quite.

These mighty heroes have been honored in the most ancient and venerable of old art forms.

Fang

One pack of Famous Barbarian Trading Cards, please. [Shouting.] Or I'll crush you like a grape!

Fang

Oooh, the Legendary Golden Tri-Axe! And here comes his famous battle cry!

Strom

[Screaming.] Valim-Valee!

Fang

Okay, the battle cry isn't all that great. But the axe is cool!

And thus did Fang learn, that even the greatest hero can be a-

Fang

Weenie.

The great destructor! [he runs away]

Fang

I squash you all! [laughing]

Fang

Here, little ladybug. I made you a dress!

Nice material! Is it chiffon?

Dave

Kitty!

Fang

Gormet cooking is not barbariany!

Dave

Uncle Oswidge, Fang's being mean to breakfast!

Sorry, Uncle Oswidge.

Oswidge

Can't you two just- pancakes!

Dave

I never wanted to be a Barbarian!

Fang

You did when you were ten!

Dave

Only because I thought it meant a librarian who also cuts hair.

Oswidge

Don't make me turn you two into cabages again!

Sorry, Uncle Oswidge.

Fang

I don't give a rabid weasel's snout what you wear to some stupid dance.

Candy

You don't understand! One fashion mistake, and the other girls will rip me to shreds!

Fang

Cool!

Candy

No, I mean, really, rip me to shreds.

Fang

Cooooool!

Dave

Okay, I'll do it. But only if I don't have to fight the monster.

Fang

Of course you have to fight the monster! What're you gonna do, bake him a pie!?

Dave

But everybody loves pie!