Dave quotes from Dave the Barbarian

Dave

That'll never work. Does anyone have one of those yappy dogs? That might scare it away.

Dave

[after accidentally throwing Lula into the air] WILD SWORD! HEADS UP! [Lula lands in the stump] My bad.

Dave

Stop! Don't spoonfeed that sprite another bite of regurgitated goose! Not until I floss his royal teeth. Say "Ahh" your majesty!

Dave

At last! I know my purpose in life: to help people! And to do that, I must become... A psychofloobicologist!

Dave

We will use the mightiest weapon in the psychofloobicologist's arsenal: Happycrafts!

Dave

What is it!? A spider!? Is something burning!? Is it on me!? I don't see it! Is it invisible!? Are invisible spiders crawling on me and burning!?

Dave

Hyrogoth, ye-ah, yeah. I-I hear Hyrogoth. It has a lot of, ah, Daisies. There. In... Hyrogoth. [Thinking to himself.] How could I say anything so stupid!? Say something smart! Something Smart! [Speaking to Irmoplotz again.] I'm allergic to daisies, I get this terrible oozing rash- Oop!

Dave

Well, she's smart, and beautiful, and, uh, [chuckling] she says the funniest things, like, "I will conquer the world", and "Evil must triumph over good", you know, that kinda thing.

Dave

I'm sure many of you are wondering why I tied a squirrel to a megaphone. Well, goodbye!

Dave

Hrm... mayonnaise or mustard? I know! A perfect blend of both. I'll call it: mayotard!

Dave

Look at that hideous paint job, the atrocious awnings, and the landscaping- ugh! From a design standpoint, those buildings are ruined beyond belief!

Dave

Penmanship? [Singing.] Look out people, here I come!

Dave

No. But if they had, I would bear the burden with grace, dignity, and style. Also, I'd redo the throne room in a polynesian motif.

Dave

Henceforth, every Saturday will be Udrogoth Spirit Day. All subjects will wear the kingdom's official colors: red, a slightly darker red, and another red a lot like the first one, but more sort of... salmony.

Dave

I'll show them! Heads will roll! Excrutiating punishments will be enacted! Wedgies will be given!