Chuckles quotes from Dave the Barbarian

Chuckles

Ah-hahahaha! Fear the mighty, devastating, bloodthirsty... Kitten? Okay, this is really not what I had in mind.

Chuckles

Ow! Quit it! That stings! Pathetic dragon, I'll defeat you with ease, and- [Faffy flies in to Chuckles' throat] Wow! That was even with more ease than I thought it'd be... with.

Chuckles

Now make me king, or I'll reupholster you in a really ugly plad!

Chuckles

Actually, it's the Evil Lair Boutique! I just work here part time to pick up extra money.

Chuckles

Get away! I'm too pink to die!

Chuckles

And now, my fiendish sand monster shall destroy- I, I'm, I'm sorry, but are you chewing gum while I'm delivering my villainous threats? That is so rude! Spit it out, little mister!

Dave

Bejabbers! It's... oh, what's your name? D-d-don't tell me. Does it start with a J?

Chuckles

The Dark Lord Chuckles the Silly Piggy!

Dave

I asked you not to tell me!

Chuckles

I warn you: I'm very high in cholesterol!

Dave

Don't worry. Faffy won't really eat him. 'Tis but a merry jest! Good night, and drive safely!

Chuckles

Okay, time for new laws! [Clears throat.] First, pickled pigs' feet do not belong in jars in delis, they belong on [Screaming] pigs' ankles!

Dave

You call that a law?

Chuckles

It beats shaving cats.

Do you have Junior Ms. Body Armor?

Chuckles

Aisle 6, by the accessory daggers.

Do you have this in teal?

Chuckles

Oh, no, sorry, just sea foam or melon, sweetie.

My programming has been changed, Chuckles. I am now commanded to pound you into bacon mist.

Chuckles

Ew.

The Dark Lord…

Chuckles

Chuckles the Silly Piggy! [Dave, Oswidge, Candy, Fang, Faffy looks around and started to laugh] Hey. Cut it out. [Dave, Oswidge, Candy, Fang, Faffy continues laughing] Cut it out, cut it out, cut it out, cut it out! I'm the master of evil! The master of evil! I can't help it if I have an adorably curly little tail.

Dave

My enchanted sword will change your tune, villain!

Lula

What? What are you looking at? What? What!?

Dave

I guess I was hoping for, I don't know, like some kind of magical energy blast?

Lula

And you couldn't say something!? What am I, a mind reader!?

Dave

Ha! It seems we are evenly matched!

Chuckles

Not really. Mine's still set on low. Bye-bye! [He turns a dial on the amulet to "high".] You shall perish beneath the might of my mighty... Mightiness!

Chuckles

Normally, I hate pathetic grovelling. But on you, it worked.

Dave

I'll give you anything. Look, using my world-renowned artistry, I've made you this origami hat!

Chuckles

Oooh, I love that! And with antlers! Very fetching!