AAmy
[giving her car keys to the valet] I don't mind a few dents, but change the radio station and you're a dead man.
RRita
Amy, how delightful. I thought you weren't coming.
AAmy
I wasn't, but I thought if you two could put aside years of bitterness and resentment, then so can I... for a day.
RRita
Oh, Amy, why do you say such ridiculous things?
AAmy
Out loud? So, Jake. You're still with Helen, huh? Shows remarkable fortitude. And Roger. How's the skydiving going?
Amy, Roger passed away. This is Paul.
RRita
Oh. Sorry Paul. How do you do?
And he was one of the lucky ones.
AAmy
Hey, what's the point of a senseless tragedy if you can't find a little humor in it? I like the way you think, Daria.
RRita
Now, Amy, I don't know where we're going to seat you... [leads Amy into building]
I need a drink. [Jake laughs] Why are you laughing? [Jake's laughter dies as he follows Helen inside]
Wow, Aunt Amy's really weird.
[dark clouds roll in, thunder rumbles]
[in the bathroom]
AAmy
Hmm. I thought when I hit thirty I would stop feeling out of place at these things.
AAmy
You didn't notice my sisters are so busy competing with each other that I don't even register on their radar?
Yeah, but I just figured you were above all that. I mean, you're kind of...
AAmy
I know, you can't say that to me. Law of the teenagers.
Thank you for respecting it.
AAmy
When I was a kid, with Helen and Rita going at it all the time, all they left for me to do was to supply the color commentary. Then, one day, I found myself all grown up with my own point of view, and feeling no particular obligation to listen to anyone else's B.S. Ever.
So it actually worked out pretty well.
AAmy
Unless I have to see my sisters at a wedding, yeah. Sarcasm. It's a great way to deal. [puts on round glasses similar to Daria's] But, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
[Amy's phone rings and she picks it up; split-screen between her and Daria]
AAmy
Hey, my favorite niece.
AAmy
I'm joking, Daria. How are you? Your mother hasn't had a stroke, has she?
Well, I haven't checked her in the last half hour. How was Hawaii?
AAmy
Wish I were still there. What can I do for you?
Um, I wanted to ask your advice about something. I'm thinking of getting contact lenses.
AAmy
Uh-huh. Sounds good.
Well, isn't it kind of... vain?
AAmy
Do you have mirrors in your house, Daria?
AAmy
Do you look in them before you go out?
AAmy
Well then, you're already going to hell, so you might as well get the lenses. You'll see the brimstone better.
AAmy
I mean, having contacts is no more vain than primping in the mirror. It just gives you different options about the way you look. It wouldn't change your personality, it wouldn't change your values, and it would set your parents back a couple hundred bucks. So, I don't see any downside at all.
AAmy
I'd love to see how it turns out. Send me a picture, okay?
You want a picture of me with my contacts?
AAmy
Either that or a shot of Ralph Fiennes. Whichever.
Daria · 137 quotes
