[Greg is wearing a suit and tie and attempting to flatten out his hair for court]
Wow. Look at you, Mr. straightedge. I did not know that your hair could do that.
I look like a dork.
No, no, no. You look like a pro, which is what you are.
S5 E13Nesting Dolls
(After breaking part of Catherine's evidence) Huh, oh boy, I've got to get my shift started. Good luck with the case.
No, no, no, you're not just going to destroy the skull and split.
You can make a nice mold from the impression.
I'm shorthanded as it is.
I think Sara just wrapped a case, if you need her she's yours.
S5 E14Unbearable
Hey, the rich are just as deviant as the poor.
And unlike some of the men in this lab whose initials are Greg Sanders she probably washes her hands.
I don't mean to pry, but do you want to talk about what happened between you and Ecklie?
Not really.
I don't know if you noticed about me, but I'm a good listener.
I blew up at Ecklie, it was very unprofessional, and very satisfying, and now we're moving on. Thanks for asking.
S5 E15King Baby
Brass subpoenaed Eiger's home phone calls in the last year.
Yeah, anything interesting?
Numerous calls from Eiger's house to Sy Magli's office.
Well, they were known business rivals.
Between midnight and 4 a.m., what I like to call: "Love Hours".
Wouldn't be the first time that hate mutated into passion.
Public enemies, private lovers. So Jackie Collins.
Question. You come home, see your husband lying in the driveway, what do you do?
Is that a trick question?
Stop, jump out, run over to him.
Or, take the time to pull into the garage and park and lock your car.
Catherine, look it's not that we don't have confidence in you.
I smell crap.
What?
Don't take another step. (shines torch around and sees feces). Joe?
JJoe
Yeah.
The Eiger's have any pets?
JJoe
No kids, no pets.
When Eiger was looking into buying The Queen Regent Casino out from under Sy Magli the gaming commission turned him down, so he invited some of the commissioners over to his mansion for a party, a week later he had his gaming and his liquor licences. Must've been a hell of a party.
Well, if The Wizard of Oz had nude pictures of the Wicked Witch, Dorothy would never had lost her slippers.
S5 E16Big Middle
That means she slept with a dead guy. She's not only a killer she's a necrophiliac. That's what I call enjoying your work.
[They review the tape some more]
She's trashed. Maybe she passed out.
How drunk do you have to be to sleep next to a decomposing body? The smell alone is an alarm clock.
Not next to him, on top of him.
(After seeing several notes in a beaver dam) Las Vegas, where even a beaver can strike it rich.
Hogs and Heffers convention. Maurice wasn't fat, what was he doing here?
Maybe he used to be.
Or maybe he was a chubby chaser. (Grissom gives him a surprised look). Some men like curves.
There's curves, and there's rolls.
MMcCaff
Walk softly, don't start a stampede.
I'm going to remember you said that McCaff, especially after these ladies sue you and the police for discrimination, you genius. Could you clear the halls for me please?
S5 E17Compulsion
[About a wad of hair found in a drain. Hodges thinks it smells woodsy]
You sniffed it?
That disgust you?
No. Actually it's the first thing you've ever done to impress me.
S5 E18Spark of Life
What's the problem?
Nothing. I'm fine.
You're not.
I feel like a wuss. Grissom told me I should take a break, and I did.
Your burn victim.
[nods] How do you get an image like that out of your mind?
You go home. You, uh... hug your cat, your dog, your pillow. You have a beer, you watch a movie, and then you come back tomorrow.
Is that supposed to make me feel better?
Rumor has it you used to be a pretty funny guy. Don't lose that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.