CClyde
Look, everyone tries to get an edge in this business. I use jokes.
Warrick (hangs up the phone): Fred Sterns just passed away. Again.
Dead guy. Not funny.
S3 E12Got Murder?
Sara (at a garbage dump): You know the average Nevadan generates three times more waste than the average American?
Yeah, well that's tourist trash.
Thirteen million pounds per day. I went to the recycling forum in March.
The landfill manager says this is the active cell. Spotter says cell lift moves forward 20 feet a day. That puts the active cell right ... pretty much in front of us.
Man! You find the best evidence in the nastiest places.
You are what you throw away.
It's like peeling an onion in peoples' lives.
Well, this onion is our time line so peel back accordingly.
Heard you got to be superhero today.
I consider myself a superhero every day.
Cans are on private property, it's not trash day, how did you get consent?
I talked to the president of the owner's association.
What'd you threaten her with?
A return visit.
Catherine (about the vic): What kind of identifying characteristics do we have?
Second degree midline episiotomy scar.
Well, that narrows it down to more than half the women in this country who gave birth.
But there might be one other thing. At first I thought appendectomy, but check out her x-ray. She's had surgery. Some kind of implant at the L4-L5 interspace. I'll know more when I open her up.
You're my hero, Al.
An artificial spinal disc. If you can recreate a spine the possibilities are endless.
I thought, uh, disc replacement surgery involved fusing bone to bone.
Eh, typically, but it can limit mobility. With that little disc, your body doesn't know the difference. Matches range of motion, flexibility and an axial rotation of a normal spine. Still in clinical trials. Less than a thousand surgeries have been performed in this country.
Oh, well, I like those odds.
You'll like this even better. Medium endplate, size 12, polyethylene component and a six-degree lordosis angle. Narrowed it down to one. Amy Ennis. Austin, Texas.
Tourist?
Doc Robbins (chuckles): That's for you to find out.
You know it's illegal in the state of Nevada to have venomous snakes?
MMarty
If you handle them correctly, snakes are harmless. I know what I'm doing.
Yeah, that's what we're afraid of.
MMarty
You going to arrest me for blurring the lines?
No. We were leaning towards murder.
Have you ever seen anything like this before?
How it manifested? No. But the cause? (beat) People throw things away every day.
You ever buy a brand-new car, Griss?
Depreciation doesn't make it a logical investment.
It's not about logic. It's about that smell. There's nothing like the smell of a brand-new car.
S3 E13Random Acts of Violence
VDetective Vega
You don't just spontaneously develop a fatal head wound.
This guy has been in Mat's house.
What is this?
Mat's team won this three years ago. This trophy was given to the rec center last year. I found all this stuff in Jacobs' car. Look at this.
If this is evidence, it needs to be tagged and cataloged.
This is the same guy who shot Mat's daughter in the head and he's walking around laughing at us.
Can you prove that?
What is this? I've been putting guys away like this for years. And now that it matters it's like that you're holding me back here.
Your job, Warrick, is to process the evidence. Objectively and without prejudice.
I'm so tired of hearing that. I've heard it a million times. I can't be like you, I'm not a robot, ok? I, actually, care about this people.
Y'know what? You're not working on this case anymore. I have another assignment for you tomorrow.
Keep it.
Greg, how many licks are take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
The world may never know.
Just see if you get some DNA off this stick, would you?
All work and no play makes Greg a dull boy.
All play and no work makes Greg an unemployed boy.
I blew it.
Yeah. But you're not the one who's paying for it.
You gotta get a girlfriend.
You first.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.